‘Coping classes’ for high-anxiety children

‘Helicopter parents’ and late-night gaming are feeding children’s high anxiety, primary school principals have warned.

Anxious school students – and their parents – will be taught to be more resilient, in an Anxiety Project backed by primary school principals. Picture: iStock

“Helicopter parents’’ and late-night gaming are feeding children’s high anxiety, primary school principals have warned.

Resilience programs to teach students coping skills will be introduced to classrooms through an Anxiety Project to be launched by the NSW Primary Principals Association on Thursday. More than 20,000 students and their parents from 58 schools will be coached to cope, in lessons developed by child psychologist Michael Hawton, the author of parenting books Talk Less Listen More and The Anxiety Coach.

Mr Hawton said many children were “catastrophising’’ because parents solve all their problems without teaching them the life skills to manage “stresses and challenges’’.

“Kids rely on adults around them to show them the rules of life, and one of them is to be the boss of your own anxiety,’’ he said.

“Mum and dad need to take a step back and help children become more resilient – prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child.

“Parents think they’re doing the right thing … but if they jump in every time to fix things for the child they’re not helping kids manage stresses and challenges.

“Parents want their kids to be happy and don’t want to cause a lot of drama, but some things need to be nipped in the bud earlier.

“They need to help a child work through their problems there and then, in front of them.’’

Mr Hawton said sleep deprivation also made children more susceptible to meltdowns, and he urged parents to keep primary school children off all social media.

“I reckon kids are not getting enough sleep, and if you don’t sleep properly, the limbic part of the brain sees more ‘emergencies’,’’ he said.

Mr Hawton said tired children were taking smartphones to bed or gaming late into the night.

“They’re just overwhelmed, and they flick and switch and scroll too much,’’ he said.

The Anxiety Project will train teachers, teacher aides and parents to recognise anxious behaviour, and “challenge’’ children’s anxious thinking with positive rebuttals, logic and coping skills.

At a NSW school south of Byron Bay, Evans River K-12 School principal Rob Walker has seen “enormous growth’’ in mental health conditions over the past few years.

“The whole ‘have a go’ attitude is missing,’’ he said. “They’re not confident, they’re avoiding coming to school and avoiding participating in various activities.

“We’ve had a lot of accommodation from adults resolving issues for children before they’ve had any opportunity to resolve problems themselves,” he said.

“Perhaps the adults – parents and teachers – should stand beside children and support the development of their own skills set.’’

NSWPPA president Robyn Evans said the school lockdowns had robbed children of routine and social activities.

“There’s school avoidance, underachievement, not being able to self-regulate when things go wrong, acting out, and friendship difficulties,’’ she said.

“Social media takes kids away from engaging in conversation and connection. They’re overwhelmed, they’ve lost self-confidence and some have even lost the ability to engage with other kids.

“They’re reluctant to let go of mum and dad, or to take a risk and have a go, in case they fail.’’

Children’s mental health charity Smiling Mind will launch The Smiling Mind Generation, a program to improve kids’ “mental fitness’’, after a $3.6m donation from fashion brand Decjuba’s philanthropic arm the Decjuba Foundation

Smiling Mind chief executive Dr Addie Wootten said families were struggling after “years of high uncertainty and change’’.

“We need to give kids coping strategies,’’ she said.

“Kids need more downtime and to learn how to navigate all the challenges coming their way, and not get sucked into ‘what-ifs’.’’

Education Minister Jason Clare said lockdowns have had “a massive impact on the mental health of Australian students’’.