Red handed

Ditch that dried-up turkey - crustaceans bring cracking good fun to the Christmas table

Ditch that dried-up turkey - crustaceans bring cracking good fun to the Christmas table

Feeling festive forms a decent part of my DNA. In the catering world, the Christmas spirit begins around August and ramps up long before that first bit of tinsel is hung in the stores. Clever corporates book early in the race for the smartest soirees, so I’m humming Jingle Bells and thinking about Christmas dinner menus at about the same time Santa fires up his workshop.

The party crowd has not been deterred by the lingering economic cloud. There’s an intelligent sensibility in soldiering on and, while budgets might have dropped a dress size, the party spirit is as big as ever. Less can be more, and generosity in hospitality can still be conveyed at times like these.

I’m an optimist. It certainly pays to be when you’re in the business of selling fun. Successful parties of scale need to be a respite from worldly woes. While I’m the least religious person I know, I love the camaraderie of a party and sense of family that’s celebrated at Christmas time.

It was always a slightly weird time for me as a kid. As a nipper, I’d find myself trotting out turkey with all the usual suspects from mid-November in one of the hotel dining rooms that my parents owned. And I don’t ever remember my mum cooking roast turkey for our family on Christmas Day. By the time we sat down, exhausted from the lunch rush, we were turkeyed out. I have strong memories of freshly boiled yabbies (which Dad organised through one of his mates from the bush) and big wedges of lemon spread over a newsprint tablecloth.

It suited me – I absolutely hate turkey. It’s the dunce of meats and uncooperative when it comes to cooking. How many hocus-pocus recipes are bandied around at this time of year trying to solve its hideous dryness? I acknowledge the sense of ritual it brings to the Christmas table but at most it’s worthy of being used as a prop. So butter it, poach it, blow-dry it or roast it … then hurl it and voila, magically present a mountain of freshly cooked lobsters: “Here’s one I prepared earlier!”

Christmas-red crustaceans are finger-lickin’ fun to devour and when they hit the table it looks like you’ve really whirled the dollars out. We have an excellent southern source of rock lobsters at this time of year. Don’t think about how much they cost – focus on how time-saving they’ll be when you get them home and how much more delicious they’ll be than that dry old bird. Lobsters are best bought live, then “dispatched” and cooked at home.

It may seem Ebenezer Scrooge of me to loathe the whole roast turkey and vegetable train smash on a summer’s day, but I’m not bah-humbug in any other way. This year I’m pulling out every stop, putting my differences aside and throwing a big family bash. I’ll drag out the heirlooms, make a real effort with the table and dig out the wines we’ve been saving for a rainy day.