Fine and dandy

MILAN is the capital of the world for menswear. Every label worth wearing can be found within cooee of the Duomo, both in stores and modelled on the street.

AUSTRALIAN men who fashion themselves, no contradiction intended, in the image of pop culture's great icons of style, know there is only one city on Earth that one needs to navigate.

A city of fast cars, exquisite menswear, long-legged brunettes, stiff Tanqueray martinis and fine cuisine. A city of incomparable luxury. Milan is the ultimate destination for the modern male.The Milanese are a unique breed. One could imagine an incredulous David Attenborough segment on the dandies who stroll its boulevards with their man-bags and their layered sweaters and their red jeans and their alligator-skin shoes, hubristically smoking their cigarettes.

The small patch stretching from the gothic Duomo in the west to the northeastern edge of the Quadrilatero shopping district is a comprehensive retail goldmine. For watch-lovers there’s a Franck Muller boutique on via della Spiga (Arnold Schwarzenegger was spotted there a couple of months back). For the captains of industry there’s the biggest and best of every suit purveyor imaginable – Canali and Tom Ford on via Pietro Verri, Zegna and Corneliani on via Montenapoleone and Brioni off the connecting laneway, via Gesu. Need a pair of shoes for the new suit? Ferragamo is but a few doors away and Tod’s is on the parallel via della Spiga. Next door to Zegna there’s even a Vertu boutique for those who fancy dropping a lazy ten grand (at least) on a platinum-plated or diamond-encrusted mobile phone.

If it’s the sartorial behemoths you’re after, the original Prada store in the central atrium of the historic Galleria
is well worth a look. Next door, Miuccia has something of a museum displaying her vintage handbags and threads and there’s  Gucci cafe just opposite. Of course there’s no less than four more Prada shingles in close proximity – a local barista said to me: “In Italy, Prada is like bakery. One in every street.” Not to be outdone, Gucci and Dolce & Gabbana each have several stores in and around this area. There’s nothing the uber brands make that you can’t get your hands on in Milan.

The south end of the Galleria opens onto piazza del Duomo, where in the mornings tourists circulate the cathedral with their handycams and at lunchtimes Pal Zileri-clad businessmen sit at the fountains, quietly enjoying their panini. This is where the dandies walk. Down via Manzoni from the Duomo to Armani and straight up via Montenapoleone. Some of them are so elegant my eyes water. It’s not particularly chilly but three to four layers on the top are common. Suede shoes are getting a tick. Pochettes appear to be utterly compulsory. The mane of choice appears to be a slick cross between Colin Farrell long and Don Draper Brylcreem. I suspect some of these men are getting weekly haircuts. I start to feel profoundly depressed.

What kind of vocations accommodate such cutting-edge get-up? They’re surely not bankers or accountants. Their tended cuticles disqualify them from bartending or manual labours. They’re too testosteronic to be graphic designers or ad execs. I conclude that they’re all property barons, vineyard proprietors, part-time yacht enthusiasts.

For the edgier stuff, head to Kenzo on via Manzoni or back to via Pietro Verri for Jil Sander. And Maison Margiela on via della Spiga is avant-garde on steroids – white calfskin carpet, staff in lab coats and the pen at the register, used to sign your life away, crowned by an enormous white feather. But it’s the Armani juggernaut that is the dominant force in this part of the world. His massive complex on via Manzoni, just two blocks down from the La Scala theatre, and which marks the northwestern tip of the Quadrilatero, houses an Emporio Armani megastore; an Armani Caffe; a private and sybaritic den known as Armani Prive; Armani Nobu – the ubiquitous mod Jap franchise of Nobuyuki Matsuhisa and Robert De Niro; an Armani library and bookstore; and a furniture store, Armani Casa. And that’s in addition to his eight boutiques in the adjoining streets.

The top floors of Armani HQ are scaffolded and cladded in monogrammed boardings as, later this year, the jewel in the crown, Armani Hotel, will open its imposing velvet and walnut doors (OK, OK, the velvet and walnut are just a guess). It will be Armani’s second hotel – in April he jetted into Dubai to open the first Armani Hotel, located in the Burj Khalifa, the world’s tallest building at a neck-craning 828m.

In the dimly lit bowels of the Armani compound is the most glamorous eating and drinking in Milan. In the Nobu bar the Tanqueray 10 martinis are sublime and bento boxes are on the house during aperitivo. The expansive space glows orange and is scattered with beautifully symmetrical dark timber panels. Bellas and bellos straight off the runway drape themselves languidly over the bar, all with their older and less genetically blessed companions. Models multi-task in this city, the bartender confides. For the right price, many are amenable to the company of mere mortals.

Downstairs is Armani Prive. It’s open Wednesday to Saturday from midnight until 3am. Good luck getting in. Upstairs is the fully fledged Nobu dining room, plating shrimps with golden osetra caviar, artichoke salad with king crab and truffle oil, lobster with wasabi pepper sauce. There are several other great pitstops around the Quadrilatero, hidden away from the streets in small courtyards. For lunch, snacks or just great coffee, try
Il Salumaio di Montenapoleone, a few doors down from Dior. (If you can’t find it, the Dior boys will point you in the right direction.)

A couple of blocks back from all this action, in via Privata Fratelli Gabba you’ll find the Bulgari Hotel. This place has serious wow factor. If you’re bringing your partner on this trip and need to mitigate his or her rage at your drunken sailoresque spending in the stores, this is the place to stay. All will be forgiven. It’s been open since 2004 and all the doyens of travel are in unison, whether Wallpaper or Luxe or Kiwi Collection: this is the best joint in town, they say.

The estate is encircled by a sumptuous Japanese garden with dramatic plane trees covered in white wisteria and the hotel entrance is permanently embellished with a row of black cars – Porsches, Astons, Bentleys and AMGs. The Bulgari spa has already got a crowded trophy cabinet, regarded as one of the best in the world by Conde Nast Traveler, Forbes and Vanity Fair. And, hardly surprising, but the hotel’s Italian restaurant is really, really good. At the helm is Elio Sironi, formerly executive chef at Sardinia’s prestigious Hotel Pitrizza and the Palace Hotel in Madrid. He’s a proponent of passive cooking, which is effectively where you cook the pasta like it’s baby Jesus – none of this tossing the pan up and down like some 10-year-old making pancakes. Sironi takes his durum wheat spaghetti off the stove after four minutes to let it continue on low heat then gently works it through the sauce with tongs. On the face of it, spaghetti al pomodoro is a pretty basic dish but his takes 45 minutes to prepare and includes no less than five different tomato varietals from Calabria to Napoli, Sicily to Sardinia. The wait is worth every mouth-watering moment.

“Milan for me is the best place in Italy because it is traditional, but minimal,” Sironi says. “Romans want fancy but here we keep things very simple with perfect ingredients. There’s no need for foie gras or caviar and the Milanese understand that.” The breakfast is pretty damn good, too. Think fresh fruit carpaccio, lobster and champagne. And brunch on Sundays sees the waiters roll in a retro, black parma slicer and baskets of huge zucchini flowers and fresh breads.

One of the great things about Milan though is that the giddy gastronomical heights are perfectly contrasted with unpretentious, simple alternatives of equal prevalence. Take Bar Straf on via San Raffaele, opposite the seven-storey Rinascente department store and a few metres off the piazza del Duomo. The small bar is full from the early evening onwards and laid-back locals spill out onto the pavement to drink their vino and cavort and canoodle. Between 6pm and 10pm, €5 ($7.50) will get you a beautiful glass of wine and an aperitivo spread of pastas, meats, cheeses and pickled vegetables. It’s the perfect spot to rest your tired legs after toiling all day across those cobblestones, weighed down with shopping bags.

Fact File
Many big name stores are closed on Sundays. Fear not – the Lord’s day is not lost! The Milanese do an epic Sunday brunch. It’s a common refrain in this city, but look no farther than the Bulgari Hotel.
At lunchtime, the squares around the Galleria are great for people-watching. Get an outside table, order an espresso and enjoy the scenery. And remember you’re in Italy so, whatever you do, don’t order a cappuccino after midday.
It rains a lot. Carry an umbrella and wear shoes you’re prepared to get wet – though it doesn’t deter the locals from suede loafers!
From 6pm–10pm, go to any bar for aperitivo. Buy a glass of vino and you can help yourself to a free feed.
Etihad Airways flies from Sydney to Milan via Abu Dhabi, four times a week. Fares start from around $1900, including taxes.
Looking for 4-star hipster digs? Try The Gray, a mere 40m from the piazza del Duomo. Rooms go for €285. Money no object? Rooms at the Bulgari Hotel start from €550.
Pack your best threads. Any less and you’ll be a couture collision among all these dapper dudes.