Wine festival's common Bond

FOOD Detective was always amused the characters in TV's Mad Men never put on an ounce of weight despite them spending all day drinking.

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FOOD Detective was always amused that the characters in the television series Mad Men never put on an ounce of weight despite spending all day, every day, drinking (apart from voluptuous redheaded secretary Joan; the booze went straight to her chest).

The star of the show, 1960s advertising exec Don Draper, had a tumbler of Canadian Club whisky glued to his hand in every situation - from business meeting to late-night tryst with a nubile secretary (only ever putting it down to light a post-coital ciggie).

It's fitting that Draper and another of the screen's great seducers, James Bond, are the focus of a fabulous '60s soiree planned as part of the Melbourne Food & Wine Festival. The March 14 event at The Dispensary Enoteca in Bendigo will take a retrospective look at the cocktails of the decade, from gimlets and mint juleps to black velvets and vodka tonics.

A 60s-inspired dress code, music, four-course meal, quiz and decor including ice sculptures and an Aston Martin are part of the $185 a head party. Tickets for MFWF events are on sale from December 3 and the theme of this year's festival is "Water". Detective can see Draper and Bond curling their lips at the very thought. Melbournefoodandwine.com.au.

THERE are no shortage of drinking options in Melbourne, and a new Melbourne Food Experiences tour aims to ferret out the best of them. Led by award-winning bartender Sebastian Raeburn, the private or group excursions will give participants the low-down on the city's drinking culture while keeping everyone well-lubricated during a series of stops at Raeburn's favourite bars and hidden gems. The tours kick off with a duck waffle and a cocktail at Cumulus Up, the wine bar above popular Cumulus Inc restaurant on Flinders Lane; $145 a person, including drinks and tastings. Melbournefoodexperiences.com.au.

AT Sydney's Victoria Room, too, drinks are just the tonic. The Darlinghurst hideaway has launched a new cocktail menu called What the Doctor Ordered, embracing "the power of natural Bach Flower remedies which work to correct emotional imbalances". Given most of Detective's emotional imbalances have occurred after a night on the gin, she's intrigued by this innovative approach to getting a person back on an even keel.

And with ingredients such as orgeat, wild oats and hornbeam, she reckons the cocktail lineup would get the seal of approval from Messrs Draper and Bond.

Detective particularly likes the sound of the Peruvian Star, which is said to be perfect for procrastinators. It contains a medicinal mix of hornbeam and Peruvian pisco shaken with fresh pear, homemade anise syrup, lime juice and a dash of egg white, garnished with a shooting star (pity the hapless kitchen hand tasked with sourcing that particular ingredient). Detective always likes a quick fix, so she hopes the doctor's administering the drinks intravenously. Thevictoriaroom.com.

DETECTIVE often wonders at the age of some of the pre-packaged sandwiches she sees at convenience stores and supermarkets. She fears a few may give the McDonald's burger kept by a Utah man for 14 years a run for its money. David Whipple's hamburger, bought in 1999 apparently, suffered no discernible change in appearance other than a disintegrated pickle (next time she finds herself hankering after a late-night Maccas, Detective will order a Big Mac and ask them to hold everything but the gherkin).

Surely no sandwich or indestructible burger could beat the fascinating find at Copenhagen's Rosenborg Castle in 1984. During a restoration of the former royal residence, two sandwiches wrapped in pages from an 1867 copy of Socialdemokraten newspaper were found behind a bricked-up window. The perfectly preserved 117-year-old open sandwiches - with a topping of lard and sea-salt - are now in the collection of the Arbejdermuseet (Workers' Museum) near the Danish capital's botanical gardens, Copenhagen Food Tours guide Maria Beisheim tells Detective. "It's as far as we know the oldest preserved example of that particular dish and a fascinating historical insight into the socio-economic factors and the diet of the times," she says. It's also proof that people of all eras will go to extreme lengths to hide food they can't stomach rather than insult their hosts. Cphfoodtours.dk.

AN interesting sighting at an Australian airport duty free store recently was Nutritious Red Kangaroo Essence. The kangaroo-based supplement apparently gets its potency from our national emblem's "intensive sexual drive and supreme endurance". Those who don't have the energy for Skippy-style bed-hopping will be comforted by other new airport offerings. One of Detective's favourite Spanish restaurant groups, MoVida, has opened its sixth outlet, at Sydney Airport's T2 Domestic Terminal. Detective is pleased to see that owner-chef Frank Camorra has included her favourite slow-braised beef cheek in Pedro Ximenez on cauliflower puree on the menu. It beats inflight sandwiches hands down. For a drink afterwards, Australian family owned brewery Coopers Alehouse has opened its first bar in Sydney at the same terminal. Movida.com.au.