Bosses good, bad and in-between

Here is my advice to young people. If you do not trust or respect your boss, get another job.

I have had good ones and bad ones; I am one myself and have been for 25 years. I am talking about bosses. A good boss is supportive and will help build your career. A good boss will see your success in part as a reflection on his or her input.

When I was 32 and working as a consultant in an accounting firm, I walked into my boss’s office and pitched an idea to publish a report on demographic trends for business. My pitch took 10 minutes; the meeting went for 20 minutes. My boss listened patiently to what I had to say and then, while I was in the room, dialled a public relations firm (on speaker phone) and asked them to teach me how to speak to the media, and to manage a national event at which I would launch my report.

That boss changed my career in 20 minutes. He was not threatened by a young person pitching an idea. Later in life he said my pitch was the best he had ever heard, and that it wasn’t my proposed demographics report that impressed him; it was the way I told the story.

Almost 30 years, several books, multiple columns, a media profile and a speaking career later, I am now in a position to help my own young staff. And guess what I am doing. That 20-minute meeting all those years ago is being paid forward as I do my utmost to train, to develop, to provide opportunities for those I consider to be the best of today’s young talent.

Here is my advice to young people. If you do not trust or respect your boss, get another job. You don’t have to like them – your boss isn’t your buddy – but you do need to be learning something from them every day. And this doesn’t have to be in a formal feedback kinda way; more often it’s up to you to glean the lessons. And if you’re not a good gleaner, learn to be. It also really helps if your boss’s boss knows and respects you. A good boss isn’t afraid to tell others about the wonderful contribution you’re making. If all of this isn’t in place, get out of that place.

I was once in a boardroom with the boss who helped my career as we presented to the senior executive of a business on the findings of a major (read: expensive) study. A rather tetchy board member asked a question that we probably should have known the answer to. My boss replied that he didn’t know the answer – and then remained silent. The pause was excruciating. After what seemed an eternity, the questioner mumbled a request for my boss to get back with an answer in due course. My boss was fearless. I interpreted his honesty and silence as courage. I soaked it up; I determined to behave similarly myself.

Bad bosses abound, or so it would seem. But sometimes “bad bosses” are simply insecure people unsure of their own position in the workforce, or maybe they’re going through difficulties at home. Sometimes a bad boss really is hopeless and no one up the line has discovered what you already know.

Occasionally a boss can see themselves in the next generation; their youth and ambition remind them of what they should have done at that age. They may not know it but deep down they are threatened and so they withhold support. It takes self-assuredness to mentor a young person. It’s far easier to do nothing but whisper with peers about the “youth of today”.

All bosses have their fair share of the flaws and foibles that afflict humanity. In due course good and bad life experiences will somehow surface in how they manage staff. But good bosses are out there. Their level-headedness, knowledge and, yes, even their courage and honesty can be inspirational to the next generation. That’s the kind of boss you need. I got that, and I wish that for you, too.