Pushed to the edge

THERE are two golden rules with queues and the principal one is very simple: first come, first served.

130824 wap queue

THERE are two golden rules with queues and the principal one is very simple: first come, first served. The thing about queues is that no one likes being in one no matter what it's for. It's a given that we'd all much rather be at the front of the queue than standing behind a snaking line of 100 people. Sometimes we queue out of choice: at a restaurant, for example, or to buy tickets to see Beyonce, and sometimes we're forced to queue and there is simply no way out of it. The key to coping in this instance is not to make a bad situation worse for everyone involved.

If it is genuinely hard for you to stand up for a long time in a queue then there's a right way and a really annoying way to go about asking if you can jump to the front of the line. The right way is to do it calmly and politely. The wrong way at, say, a baggage services counter in an airport to report your lost luggage is to whinge to everyone else in the queue about how long your flight was, how you just want to get to your hotel and how your children are really tired. That's unlikely to appeal to the sympathy of your fellow travellers who are just as tired.

I've seen a queue of hundreds of delayed passengers happily make way for a woman with a screaming baby to jump to the front of the line and I've also seen a queue of people turn on someone in a similar situation. It all comes down to how you, the one carrying the proverbial baby, handle the situation. A good trick is to find a compassionate-looking person to do your bidding for you. A bad idea is to just walk to the front of the line and effectively push in. By the way, interrupting the transaction that's going on at the front of the line with something like "I just want to ask a quick question" is essentially pushing in.

The second rule about queues is not to complain about it. In most cases there is nothing you can do about the queue in front of you but wait it out calmly - except of course when there is a simple alternative. I was standing in line to get a table at a popular Sydney restaurant a few nights ago (in Sydney popular restaurants don't like to take reservations so queuing is the norm) and the man behind me huffed and moaned for an entire 30 minutes to anyone who would listen about how he doesn't like queuing, which is a bit like saying you don't like being run over by a bus.

To be fair to the frustrated diner behind me, I hate queues as well and it bugs me when a restaurant won't take a booking, but the catch is that I have a choice. You might think that standing in line for a table at a restaurant for a half hour is nuts and, to be perfectly honest, I agree. I queued at this particular restaurant only because I was entertaining a friend visiting from overseas who specifically wanted to dine there; normally I wouldn't bother. And that's my point: if you don't like queuing and you have a choice then exercise your right to go somewhere else; it's not the only restaurant in town. Or just show up earlier. If I dare indicate to my significant other that I am even mildly displeased with being told I will have to wait 45 minutes for a table on a Saturday morning at our local and very popular cafe I get met with a stern look and told to "just get out of bed earlier".

We'd all rather be spending our time doing something other than waiting in line. We're all hungry. We all have connecting flights. We all want the queue to move faster. And no, no one knows why there are 50 passport control counters and only two of them open, least of all the person behind you in the queue. Amuse yourself. Play a game on your mobile phone or catch up on your email. But please don't stand too close to the person in front of you; it doesn't make the queue move faster. And whingeing about the queue, while it certainly makes you feel better, also doesn't make it move quicker.