Lamborghini Huracan STO review: how can this car be road-legal?
This is a vehicle that was designed for driving on public roads in much the same way that a power drill is designed for removing ear wax.
I often get the sense that my kidneys want to tell me something, and when they do I always try to take them out for a drink. I fear they have some complaints about my chosen line of work, which can align itself with professional levels of alcohol consumption.
When, as a journalist, I first started chasing ambulances and dalliancing with drug detectives, I assumed it was the stress of late nights, heartaching stories and being thrashed by deadlines that fed the sozzled cliche. Although, over the years I’ve realised it has as much to do with the free booze on offer (I know, cry me a river, preferably a pale ale one).
On top of this cruel treatment, I have also thrown at my kidneys the occasional utterly brutal supercar, like the Lamborghini Huracan STO – a vehicle that was designed for driving on public roads in much the same way that a power drill is designed for removing ear wax.
It took less than an hour on the broken, befuddled and bouncy road surfaces of Sydney for my kidneys to cry enough. Indeed, it only took about 10 minutes before it began to feel like a raging bull was rutting its horns into my lower back. I also noticed that my breathing was short and that I was scanning the road in front of me for bumps to avoid; fortunately the STO’s steering is so sharp that you only need to breathe on it to dart hither or thither. When I couldn’t get out of the way and did hit something, even a rock as small as a thimble, I would make exactly the same involuntary sounds of despair that I produce during a vigorous massage (those noises are tinged with the regret of a man who’s insisted the masseuse go their hardest, because he is an idiot).
It’s not that this Lamborghini’s seats aren’t comfortable; indeed, as long as you don’t drive it anywhere they’re quite pleasant (and outside of the confines of a race track, not taking this STO version anywhere would be the best advice you could get), it’s just that the car seems to have no suspension whatsoever and everything about it, from the rock-hard floor mats to the carbon fibre door linings, seems to have been designed to bruise soft flesh.
Now all of this sounds quite negative, and I began to feel very critical of myself, and my whinging kidneys, as I sat in this truly glorious looking machine – it feels like a design for a Transformer toy that was rejected as being too ridiculous – and saw other people’s delight.
And there were, of course, moments of joyful whimsy – when a gap would open in traffic and I’d dare to put my foot down, just briefly, producing a rush of acceleration and noise that you’d normally have to take part in an air show to experience. There is also the childish thrill you get each time you start this hairy-chested Huracan with the big red start button, hidden under a bombs-away cover.
The thing is, of course, that you can get all that kind of fun with any of the other variants of a Huracan that Lamborghini will sell you, and yet what makes this STO one so special, and so utterly impractical, is that it’s designed to “deliver all the emotion of a race car while providing a comfortable road experience” (well, they got it half right).
The STO stands for Super Trofeo Omologata, which means it’s certified for racing in Lamborghini’s Super Trofeo series, which is a form of racing designed for people who find F1 cars too affordable. It means this car is extremely light (1339kg), with semi-slick tyres and a 5.2-litre V10 engine that can rip them to pieces. Happily, it also has track-spec brakes, although they, too, feel very bloody hard on public roads. Indeed, because the car is light, flighty and arguably overpowered, those tyres regularly provide the sort of thrills and rear-end squirrels that no one really enjoys. With the slightest touch of moisture on the road, even braking hard scared my rectum into my throat on a few occasions, while there is simply no safe way to apply full throttle in the real world without turning the Huracan into a very large boomerang.
I understand why someone would buy this STO as a track car – indeed, when it was launched in Australia I drove it around Phillip Island and laughed very much like a lunatic all day – but the idea that it can be registered for the road seems patently absurd and unnecessary. Mind you, those last four words pretty much define “Lamborghini”.
Lamborghini Huracan STO
Engine: 5.2-litre V10 (470kW/565Nm)
Fuel economy: 14 litres per 100km
Transmission: 7-speed dual-clutch automatic, rear-wheel drive
Price: $596,000
Rating: Three-and-a-half stars out of five
