If you’re game, press the ‘rocket launch’ button on this EV
This feature allowed me to turn a couple of 50-plus male passengers into hooting school boys as it hurled us from a standing start to 100km/h in a hilarious 3.7 seconds. But don’t get me started on the impenetrable operating system.
Much like fans of Botox and Ozempic, and certain political geniuses, I have a big problem with admitting defeat. As any red-blooded male will tell you, actually reading the instructions for something is a particularly galling form of the dreaded D-word, so when I was handed seven laminated pages of instructions along with the keys to the new and clearly Ozempic-shunning Smart car, I threw them into the back seat with a dismissive snort.
Clearly, by preparing these offensive and insulting documents, the not-so Smart people were suggesting I am too old to engage with modern technologies aimed at the kind of groovy youngster who would go for an EV with a hashtag in its name, from a brand that used to be truly tiny, cool and co-created by the people who made Swatch watches (the name Smart was originally a tri-portmanteau of “Swatch”, “Mercedes” and “Art”).
I’m a giant nerd who, for one, welcomes our impending AI overlords, and yet I found the operating system in the Smart #3 (yes, that’s the real name; try to compose a post about that on Instagram without your head caving in) utterly impenetrable. Its large central screen features many useless things, including a cheetah that looks embarrassed to be there. Apparently in other markets it leaps around the screen amusingly, but in Australia our design rules won’t allow such frivolity because having an animated cartoon to distract you from looking at the road is seen as a bad idea.
I prodded at the screen for a few days, then angrily punched it for a few more as I tried to remember how the Smart fellow who handed it over had explained the Rocket Launch function to me, and in the end I’m ashamed to say I had to recover his instructions from the back seat. It was worth it, though, as Rocket Launch turns this humble yet attractive car into the Bullet Bill character it resembles (he’s from Mario Kart) and allowed me to turn a couple of 50-plus male passengers into hooting school boys as it hurled us from a standing start to 100km/h in a hilarious 3.7 seconds.
Smart man had also programmed a series of saved settings for me, so that if I just remembered to press one screen button every time I started the car I would be spared many of its more annoying features, none of which I could work out how to turn off myself. These include a deafening warning every time you exceed the speed limit, which sounds like one of the ghosts from Pac-Man eating a robotic duck, and a particularly grating noise it also regularly makes to tell you your eyes aren’t looking straight ahead.
My daughter, who despite being a screen native couldn’t work out how to adjust the stereo volume from the passenger seat and thus had a tough few days as I played AI-focused podcasts at high volume, also disliked the indicator sounds, which seem to be a recording of someone slapping on their cheeks with their mouth open.
On the plus side, the #3 I was driving, which is the sportiest Brabus-fettled variant, does make some genuinely enjoyable and borderline realistic fake engine noises, which get better the harder you push it. You can probably turn them off if they’re not to your taste, but you’d need the instructions for that.
The other good news about this new, bigger, reborn Smart (Swatch is now long gone and the brand is a joint venture between Mercedes and Chinese giant Geely) is that it is genuinely and at times hugely enjoyable to drive. The steering – delivered via a wheel that feels properly premium, as do many of the other materials – is chunky, the car is chuckable through corners and the whole thing feels solidly built and nailed to the road in a way that most Chinese-built EVs – and I’m including Teslas on that list – simply do not.
When I wasn’t shouting at the screen or bemoaning the beeps and bongs, I really enjoyed driving it, and the #3 (even typing that name makes me slightly ill) is also surprisingly practical, because despite its small, hatch-like dimensions it has the same rear leg room as a Mercedes-Benz E-Class.
Smart claims that it’s bringing us high-quality EVs at an “accessible” price, which is arguable, I guess, as you can have the entry-level Pro+ variant for $57,900 or the Premium version for $61,900. But you only get the riotous Rocket Launch feature, and the full 315kW and 543Nm I experienced, in the Brabus range-topper at $70,900.
I could live with this Smart, and its reasonably practical (for a city car) 415km of range, because I really did enjoy driving it, but I would have to chip the # badge off the rear, and then remove the touchscreen and throw it in the back seat as well. At least it would cover up those offensive instructions.
Smart #3 Brabus
ENGINE: Dual permanent magnet synchronous motors (315kW/543Nm), 66kWh battery
TRANSMISSION: One-speed automatic, all-wheel drive
EFFICIENCY: 17.6kWh/100km; range 415km
PRICE: $70,900
RATING: 4/5
