Tuesday was a big day for men — did you blink and miss it?

Blokes’ day passed without even a whimper, because men apparently are not worth celebrating with the same energy and focus that women are.

November 19 was International Men’s Day, the international day of the bloke. Blink and you missed it, right?

Tuesday just gone was a big day for Australian men. For men the world over, actually. If you’re like me, you were probably none the wiser.

Let me enlighten you. November 19 was International Men’s Day, the international day of the bloke. We can all be forgiven for missing it. I mean, there wasn’t so much as a blue-themed cupcake or corporate morning tea in sight. No emotional posts on social media paying homage to strong men (may we know them, may we be them, may we raise them). Nope, blokes’ day passed without even a whimper because men apparently are not worth celebrating with the same energy and focus that women are.

What we did see, though, was an especially mean-spirited piece of PR courtesy of the Workplace Gender Equality Agency. It trumpeted the claim that female C-suite executives in Australia earn less than men. Footnote to that: if that were systemic, demonstrable and true, it’s also illegal. I mean, if the irrefutable evidence is there as claimed, where are the prosecutions? Surely it would be a lay-down misere?

All of that aside, what an utterly shameless, miseryguts thing to do. Using International Men’s Day to claim wage disparity, the inference being that it’s every man’s fault, all the time. Can’t even let the poor blokes have one day where they’re not to blame. A day where the rest of us say, good on you fellas, you’re doing a good job (whatever that job may be). Nope, instead it’s all “crush the patriarchy”. God, it’s so bloody tiresome.

There wasn’t so much as a blue-themed cupcake or corporate morning tea in sight to mark International Men’s Day.

These narratives not only diminish good men and measure a woman’s worth by one aspect of her life; they also look at everything through the lens of victimhood.

My dear friend Denise is one of the most senior people in her field and her sector in Australia. She bal­ances this with raising a family and all that entails. She is fierce and ballsy and cops no nonsense.

International Women’s Day was an infantilising waste of time, she lamented this week. It reduces women to a singularness of choice, that being career. It ranks female workforce participation above all other facets of a woman’s life and her choices, elevating it as the single most important indicator of women living meaningful and productive lives. Denise is not wrong.

Case in point: nobody is hosting morning tea for the countless women who choose motherhood over their career. Those who say: I am prepared to make sacrifices to be present in a window in time that is precious and fleeting, for the privilege of raising a tiny human, or more than one.

I’m not saying it’s a better choice – it’s one I never got to wrestle with – but I am saying it’s a choice that is ignored and diminished. International Women’s Day is a selective celebration of a singular cohort and I’m not a fan.

Back to the international day of the bloke. Blink and you missed it, right? The only reason I knew about it was thanks to LinkedIn, where the phrases “I’m thrilled to share” or “Some personal news” get a bigger workout than your nonna making bomboniere for a family christening. I saw a post in my feed in which someone shared their thoughts on being a man in corporate life in 2024.

To be honest, I don’t know if I’d be up for it. It’s tough, and that should be acknowledged. Now, before anyone starts putting words in my mouth, let me be clear. I have been the woman earning half as much as a man doing the same job.

I’ve shared about it before here and in other places. I have been the woman on the receiving end of horrendously inappropriate behaviour. I know it happens more than it should. But failing to acknowledge the specific challenges and hurdles that men face in corporate life is as wrong. Minimising the good men (and most are very good men) does nothing and changes nothing. Why did we not celebrate the men this week who are part of the change, who have led these changes, who have stood at the front and said: No more, not on my watch? I know dozens of them. Bloody legends, each of them, and they’d probably shun the recognition, but that’s not the point. Nobody even tries.

My career wouldn’t be where it was without the many brilliant men who had supported me, opened doors for me, counselled, mentored, consoled and cheered for me, without any expectation of return. I know I’m not the only one, either.

Outside the professional paradigm, I think of the men in world more broadly: brave, loving, strong, imperfect, flawed. No less brilliant men because of it. I think of my own dear dad who, as I’ve tenderly shared before, battled alcoholism his whole life. I’m proud of him because he never stopped trying to beat it. I watched him try and fail, pick himself up and try again, only to fail again. He never gave up the battle, even though it ultimately cost him his life.

To all the men this week who didn’t get your morning tea, forgive us. While my tongue is obviously stuck in my cheek, the sentiment rings true.

To all the men who are just getting on with it, keep going. You have different stressors, challenges and battles, just like women do, but they’re no less worthy of acknowledgment. What I’m saying here isn’t radical and it’s not wildly off-piste. It is the heart of what we should all be striving for, ultim­ately, and that is unity. Men and women are better together.

To be honest, I don’t really think we need to have an international day of the dame or the gent; it’s all a bit lame in the scheme of things. But I don’t make the rules (a shame, don’t you think?) so as long as we do have them, let’s make sure they’re marked with an equal level of attention and commitment.

After all, isn’t that what equality looks like?