The trouble with Prince Harry and Meghan Markle is our chance for a royal flush

A 30-something couple moving out? A trivial tale, but one of great significance to Australia.

Meghan and Harry leave Canada House, London. Picture: Getty Images

So, OK, here’s a new word for you: cakest. Having your cake and eating it too. Meghan and Harry are cakest. That is the allegation. They don’t want to be royal any more. No, wait, they do. But only part-time. Without any income? Well, no. With some income, but only that to which they believe they’re entitled.

And they are entitled to some.

Harry has an inheritance from Mum and another from his great-grandmother. He also gets an annual stipend from his father. Sounds like any one of Melbourne’s boater-and-tie set, except that one day his father — and in such tumultuous times one can only assume this — will be king.

As for the titles, his and her royal highnesses, we just don’t know. There has been a summit in Sandringham — more about that in a moment — at which some but not all details of this latest strategic British withdrawal were hammered out, but probably they want to keep the titles. How do we know? Well, when Meghan and Harry announced their intention to “step back” from being “senior royals” in Britain, they did so while launching a new couples website. No, not that kind. It’s for them, as a couple, and what’s it called? www.sussexroyals.com. They could have called it The Sussexes or even H&M, but that’s a little bit common. They want the titles.

So, why have they done it? There have already been thousands of think pieces, when none is needed. Meghan and Harry explained why in a television interview after their trip to South Africa.

Meghan is unhappy. She doesn’t like the scrutiny, although only to a point. She doesn’t mind attention — that’s not a criticism; she’s an actress, they can’t really work without an audience — but she wants it on her terms. Meg­han wants more say over her own life. Amazing that we’re having this conversation about two people in their late 30s! She’s almost 40. Of course she wants to post her own pictures of baby Archie on Instagram without running it by her husband’s father’s mother.

And so, you go girl! That’s the sentiment of those under, say, 45, who suspect the monarchy of all manner of sins, but especially of sexism and, of course, racism.

Anyone older, the view seems to be: “Oh, but the poor Queen.”

Poor Queen, indeed. Ninety-three years old, and still having to hold the family together.

Harry and Meghan are not the first royals to walk away from duty. There was a king who did it once, remember? Also, anyone seen Uncle Edward and his children lately? What about Anne’s children? No, they are none of them truly free of the ties that bind, but who is? Family, heh? You’re mostly stuck with them.

So, what will this glamorous couple do next? Meghan seems keen to return to her career. She apparently wants to do voiceovers. So maybe we’ll be seeing (hearing) her in Kung Fu Panda? Well, why not? She can crash a jeans website, just by donning a pair. They could monetise Instagram posts — $US105,000 ($152,000) per singular sponsored Instagram post — but it’s gauche.

Meghan and Harry are said to be styling themselves on Barack and Michelle in retirement. The Obamas earned $US60m — nope, no missing decimal point there — for two tomes about life before and after the White House.

Details were meant to be hammered out at “the Sandringham summit” — formally, a meeting between Her Royal Highness the Queen of England, the Prince of Wales, and princes William and Harry.

The Queen, all class as ever, put out a statement: “Although we would have preferred them to remain full-time working members of the royal family, we respect and understand their wish to live a more independent life as a family while remaining a valued part of my family.”

They wanted to leave and they’ll be allowed to go, so that’s a win for H&M. It didn’t go all their way, however. Their new website stated: “The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are classified as internationally protected people.” Therefore, they wanted around-the-clock and round-the-globe security. They’ve since agreed that no, they’re not. So, that’s a win for the British taxpayer.

They want to split their time between Britain and Canada. Did anyone ask Canada?

Justin Trudeau — also woke — apparently wasn’t told and revealed himself as being not so keen on paying the bills. They’re welcome, he said, “but how that looks and what kind of costs are involved, there are still lots of discussions to have”.

Meghan has been seen twice since the announcement, and each time has a) looked rather gorgeous; and b) been engaged in worthy head-nodding. She hopped a sea plane from Vancouver Island to the Canadian mainland, where she visited the Downtown Eastside Women’s Centre in Vancouver to discuss “issues affecting women in the community”. She also visited Justice for Girls to discuss “climate justice for girls and the rights of indigenous peoples”. Pictures appeared on Instagram. This is because H&M want to run their own social media accounts.

The press in Britain is aghast.

On their website, the couple explained how “media relations” used to work. The Royal Rota was established more than 40 years ago “as a way of giving UK media access to the official engagements of members of the royal family”, they said. The rota, or a pool of reporters and photographers from various outlets, would cover various events, and share pictures, and quotes, which then would be published in newspapers worldwide.

Harry and Meghan don’t like this approach. It favours the tabloids, for one thing. They intend to make better use of newer media, saying: Yes, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex will continue to have a social media platform. They look forward to continuing their use of social media and believe their updated approach will enable them to share more, with you, directly.

They have said they want to become “financially independent”. They revealed in their exit statement that 5 per cent of their income comes from the Sovereign Grant, and 95 per cent — around $5m a year — comes from the “bank of dad”, Prince Charles.

They won’t accept the Sovereign Grant and they probably are hoping to stand on their own two feet a little more. It feels good when you do it; and she always has. The sense of freedom will be wonderful for him.

One thing we really don’t want to lose is Invictus, the games for returned and wounded servicemen and women, championed by Harry. He has made two public statements since his own personal Brexit. The first one was about the Invictus Games. It’s on their Instagram page. He says: “This year, we are heading to The Hague.”

Just repeating: “We are heading to …” He goes on: “In 2022, the Invictus Games will travel to a new country …” Not “we”. The games will travel. It’s hard to see how they survive without him. It’s likewise hard to see him giving them up. He loved them. They love him, and Invictus was something that was truly his and not the family’s.

Speaking of which, Prince William has spoken too. “It’s OK to have these challenges,” he said. “We just need to deal with them and we need to move forward rather than just be stuck in paralysis and pretend they don’t happen, which is no good.”

Does he want to do a runner too? It must have crossed his mind. But he can’t. He’s stuck there, as No 2 in line to the throne, with a dad who looks more prescient on climate change by the day. Yes, Charles! He was always the woke one, talking to his plants. Who’s laughing now?

Meanwhile, Harry stepped out on Friday for what could be his last official event, hosting the Rugby League World Cup 2021 draw. The event began on the back lawn of the family palace, where he met with young players and officials.

“Look after the grass or I’ll get in trouble,” he joked.

That’s a metaphor, that is.

And now, look: 100 years from now — maybe 10 — this will not seem like it could ever have been a big story. Harry should by rights always have been a minor royal. He is sixth in line to the throne and falling every time Kate has a baby. Even Prince Andrew was once closer to being our head of state.

The problem is the way Harry was positioned after they married. They were supposed to secure the monarchy for future generations.

Australian leaders tend these days to dodge the question of which way we will go. Let’s see what happens after the Queen dies. It buys them time. But speaking actuarily, this solution won’t work forever. At some point, Australia must confront this question: if members of her own family want out, should we also not get out? That is why this story — so silly, so trivial, so fascinating on its surface — is actually important.