Stand up and take a swipe at double standards, it’s OK

Australia's Prime Minister Scott Morrison and his wife Jenny Morrison attend a special prayer service to commemorate the death of Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh. Picture: AFP

My late father had a favourite expression. One he delivered with a father’s expertise and gentle rebuke when, on the odd occasion he suspected me of entertaining a double standard. Riding one horse and leading another are you, Gem? I can still hear his voice, still see the mischief in his face and clearly still remember the flash of cranky that hit me when I realised he might be right.

That phrase has been working overtime in my head this past month. So many people, on so many horses, dragging another steed behind them in the hope that nobody notices. In the hope that it’s seen as normal. It isn’t.

I fear we are at risk of becoming a nation deceived. By self-loathing and self-interest concurrently. Up is down, night is day, good is bad. We’re a nation of racist, colonial bigots if you believe the mob. Everything is racist. Or sexist. Or something-ist. Everyone is speaking “their” truth while truth itself is done away with.

How did we get here? If the road to hell is paved with good intentions then I propose that the road to self-deception is paved with double standards.

I could fill these pages and more with examples but for the sake of brevity let’s start with Anzac Day. On Sunday, we will honour the great price paid for our freedom throughout generations. Yet around Australia, many ceremonies have been binned and others subject to massive restrictions that have insulted veterans and enraged the community. A capacity crowd at Perth’s Optus stadium and 75,000 is OK at the MCG. Apparently, it’s a COVID risk to honour the fallen but not to go to the footy. What a clever virus. Not so clever the people who believe it. I imagine my grandpa Doug Bleakley, who returned from Milne Bay sound in body but broken in soul and I’m ashamed at our functional compliance.

The list is long and telling. Indigenous academic Anthony Dillon tweeted this week “I have heard of the 339 recommendations in regards to Aboriginal deaths in custody. How many recommendations have been made in regard to Aboriginal deaths in communities?”

His comment reflects a searing truth, evident also in the disproportionate focus on matters cosmetic such as statues and historically named dairy products, as compared to matters of substance. Like the fact Indigenous women are 32 times more likely to be hospitalised due to family and domestic violence. That Indigenous children are seven times more likely to be the subject of child abuse or neglect. The double standard here costs lives. Yet most turn and look the other way.

It’s apparently fine to describe a man of a certain age and ethnicity as pale, stale and male. Unless of course we want him to be a male champion of change to further the advancement of women. It’s okay to denigrate a man’s experience and reduce him to his gender and his age, unless he is useful to the sisterhood’s cause. All of this while we as a community are grappling with issues of respect for women in the workplace. Are we uncomfortable yet? We should be.

And as if we need reminding, it’s open season on our Prime Minister, his wife, their marriage and their faith-based values. Politicians' families are off limits, they say. Unless you don’t like their faith or traditional family unit. I’m staggered by the number of women still saying “yeah but” in relation to the appalling abuse and ridicule of Jenny Morrison. The double standard is perhaps most clear in the area of gender. Never before has it been clear there is a right and a wrong kind of women, according to some in media and corporate life.

Oh but we’re a vexed people aren’t we? Late term abortions are about reproductive health but if a pregnant woman loses her baby, we rightly mourn that death as if the child lived and breathed outside the womb.

Rather than entertain two ideas in tension, rather than fighting for the legitimacy of different views that believe it or not may actually be able to coexist, we’re being tossed like reeds in the wind, swaying this way and that, appeasing and acquiescing.

We are at risk of allowing a cohort of the community, usually table-thumping activists, to normalise insane contradictions and then attack those of us who dare to say, hang a second, we need to talk about this more. Let’s have a sensible conversation.

Maybe it’s because we’ve become comfortable on the path of least resistance. These double standards are not our friends. They deceive us, they don’t serve us. It’s up to us to decide when and where we’ll draw the line. I vote for here and now.

Gemma Tognini is executive director of GT Communications.