Prince Philip funeral: The walk of grief that could heal the hurt

The memory of their mother’s funeral will be uppermost in the minds of William and Harry as we watch them reprise that sorrowful march.

William and Harry walk behind Diana’s coffin alongside Prince Philip, Earl Spencer and Prince Charles in 1997. Picture: AFP.

The haunting image from Princess Diana’s funeral of those two young brothers — 12-year-old Harry and William, aged 15, walking behind their mother’s coffin, heads down, staring at the ground — will be in most of our thoughts this weekend as we watch the princes reprise that sorrowful march.

This time, of course, it will be Prince Philip’s coffin they follow, but the role he played in supporting them nearly 24 years ago as they absorbed the shock of their mother’s death will be replayed in both those young men’s minds.

They will remember in particular how their grandpa’s “gruff tenderness” gave them the courage to make that public walk of grief after they resisted the suggestion that they join the 1.6km procession to Westminster Abbey.

Princess Anne recently revealed that at supper the night ­before Diana’s funeral, Prince Philip turned to his grandsons, saying: “If I walk, will you walk with me?” The boys agreed.

William insisted that he would only join the procession if his grandpa walked beside him.

Earlier, the prince had ripped into government and royal aides at the suggestion the boys should ­follow their mother’s coffin “to show the royals cared”, shouting on a conference call: “F..k off!”

Anji Hunter, Tony Blair’s government relations director, told the BBC an “anguished” Duke of Edinburgh told them: “We are talking about two boys who have just lost their mother.”

On Sunday morning (Australian time), as they accompany their grandfather to St George’s Chapel, the princes will, as they did then, suppress their grief in public even as they are engulfed by such memories. But of the two, it may well be Harry, the prodigal, who is hit the hardest. Harry will be feeling wretched; he adored his grandpa and is well aware how badly he hurt both Philip and the Queen with his and Meghan’s tell-all Oprah interview.

When Philip was hospitalised in February, Harry had regular COVID tests, so determined was he to return to England so he could farewell Philip if the call came.

In the event, only Prince Charles was allowed to visit Philip in hospital, and the duke died with only the Queen at his side, as both may have preferred.

It may well be that while William will remain stoic, in the way of the royals, Harry will let his emotions get the better of him. Picture: AFP

But it means Harry never got the chance to explain himself to Philip, to apologise, to seek his ever-understanding grandfather’s understanding one last time. That will lay heavy on him and may well overwhelm him.

Much has been made of the hope that the brothers’ shared grief will bring them back together. They have spoken at least once since Harry arrived in the UK on Monday (AEST) but haven’t seen each other; in part at least because of Harry’s enforced quarantine at his former home Frogmore Cottage, Windsor, until the funeral.

When we do see them together, we won’t see any cracks. The royals are determined to present a public face of unity, to ensure the occasion will be about Philip, and not his feuding grandsons — although British tabloids will have already hired body language experts to interpret every movement and every expression on the two young men’s faces.

A royal source told the British newspaper The Telegraph: “They know it is not about them — it is about ­honouring their grandfather’s memory and supporting their grandmother”.

Another palace insider said: “The entire focus is on the Queen. No exceptions. A family unified.”

But it may well be that while William will remain stoic, in the way of the royals, Harry will let his emotions get the better of him. If he does give way, if only behind closed doors, it would be no bad thing. It might remind Prince William and Prince Charles that Harry is genuinely vulnerable.

Years before the Sussex’s self-pitying performance on Oprah, he spoke honestly of his struggles with his mental health after losing his mum at such a young age.

For Harry’s part, he may well remember how heavily he leaned on his older brother as they adjusted to their motherless status. If he remembers how Prince Philip took the boys stalking to take their minds off their grief, he might also recollect how Charles supported him and William in those difficult years. He recalled once: “One of the hardest things for a parent to have to do is to tell your children that your other parent has died. How you deal with that I don’t know but, you know, he was there for us. He did his best.”

Years before the Sussex’s self-pitying performance on Oprah, Harry spoke honestly of his struggles with his mental health after losing his mum at such a young age. Picture:AFP

Certainly, Prince William’s wife Kate, who Harry regards as the older sister he never had, will be watching over him, as she will over her husband, and she will be alert to any crack in their facade of silent stoicism.

Friends of the brothers have told the media they hope Kate will act as the peacemaker between the brothers, while Kate herself has said she doesn’t think it’s too late to “pull them back in”.

There is a chance, of course, that the heightened emotion of the event, and the royals’ anger over how Harry and Meghan hurt Philip and the Queen in his last weeks of life, could cause an even wider rift.

But the family is said to be optimistic there will be a healing rather than more hurt. One royal source told The Telegraph: “Everybody sees it as an opportunity to reconnect. One would hope that this would be a positive first step.”