Alice Workman’s glossary of woke words

Alice Workman’s list of words that emerged in the last decade.

Bag rage (noun) — Anger felt in customers by the removal of free plastic bags at supermarket check-outs. Can often lead to blackouts when customers spot the price of reusable bags.

Binge watch (verb) — To consume several episodes of a TV program in one sitting. The reason Stuart Robert’s internet bill is so high.

Bitcoin (noun) — A type of digital (or crypto) currency which operates independent of a central bank whose value violently fluctuates. Millennials poker machines.

Bonk ban (noun) — The unofficial name for the moratorium on ministers making whoopie with members of staff. Implemented by Malcolm Turnbull after the Barnababy.

Captain’s call (phrase) — A decision made by a leader without consultation with colleagues. For example: Tony Abbott awarding Prince Philip a knighthood or Steve Smith signing off on the sandpaper.

Canberra bubble (noun) — The insular environment of federal politics in our nation’s mandarin and roundabout infested capital. Often used by politicians inside the bubble who want to distance themselves from it. The new tent pissing metaphor.

Cancel culture (noun) — a) The public condemnation or boycott of someone either on social media or in the real world (or both) for facetious or serious reasons.

b) When you realise you’ve opened the wrong flavour or yoghurt and throw it in the bin.

Carbon tax (noun) — The name given to Labor PM Julia Gillard’s carbon pricing scheme in 2011 by the then Opposition Leader Tony Abbott. Peta Credlin later admitted “it wasn’t a carbon tax… but we made it a carbon tax”.

Catfish (verb) — Someone who adopts a fictional online persona and targets, seduces and deceives a victim. For example: Captain GetUp!

Covered outdoor learning area (noun) — an piece of school playground infrastructure, championed by then education minister Julia Gillard at the start of the decade, which often went well over budget. Also known as a COLA. The biggest shade problem in schools until the strikes 4 climate.

Culture wars (noun) — A conflict between groups with different ideals, beliefs, philosophies. For example: whether tomato sauce should be kept in the cupboard or fridge.

Dab (verb) — A dance move where you quickly extend one arm and hide your face in the crook of the other that coincidentally is an example of the correct way to sneeze.

Democracy sausage (noun) — The colloquial name for a barbecue sausage served in bread (with or without onion or sauce) and sold as a fundraiser at polling places on election day. Much like the Senate, no one no one knows what is inside the sausage.

Dox (verb) — To publish someone’s personal information (name, photo, address, phone number) and share it with others to embarrass or cause harm.

Eco-anxiety — Feelings of distress and fear brought on by the effects of climate change. Also how cleaners feel after seeing the rubbish left behind at a School Climate protest.

Fair-dinkum power (adjective) — Coined by Scott Morrison as code for coal in the energy discourse but later trademarked by billionaire Mike Cannon-Brookes for his renewable energy movement.

Fire (adjective) — Slang used to describe something that is extremely good or attractive. For example: Anthony Albanese’s DJing is not fire.

Flight shaming (noun) — Criticism or ridicule directed at someone travelling by air because of the carbon emissions. See: sailing enthusiast Greta Thunberg.

Gas lighting (verb) — To manipulate someone by psychological means into doubting their own sanity. Also the preferred lighting method of Edmund Barton.

Ghost (transitive verb) — To disappear without warning from a social gathering either in real life or in online communication. For example: One Nation during the vote on the government’s union busting bill. Not to be confused with a miserable ghost (e.g. Kevin Rudd and Malcolm Turnbull) who won’t disappear.

Goats cheese curtain / latte belt / quinoa corridor — An invisible line that separates Real Australians from Not Real Australians. Who falls on which side is objective depending on your political persuasion.

Hot take (noun) — A topical observation about a news event or cultural phenomena, often posted on social media to elicit responses. For example: Jobs for the boys / girls — A way to get rid of outspoken friends and colleagues by providing them with employment elsewhere, often overseas at the taxpayers expense.

Fake news (noun) — False stories that appear to be news. For example: any claim that John Farnham is playing “one last show”.

First world problems (noun) — A relatively trivial or minor problem or frustration, implying a contrast with serious problems in the developing world. For example: When the airconditioning is broken in your ComCar.

GIF (noun) — A type of image file that contains a still or moving image. The creator’s intention for it to be pronounced with a hard G was rejected by society in favour of a soft j.

Gig economy (noun) — A labour market characterised by short-term contracts or freelance work as opposed to permanent jobs. Often the extra job you have to pick up in your spare time because you’re underemployed or haven’t seen any real wage growth.

Gotta zip (slang) — A way to say goodbye in an awkward situation, favoured by Kevin Rudd.

Have a go to get a go (idiom) — Coined by Scott Morrison to justify welfare cuts. Also once used by Morrison to describe champion racehorse Winx.

How good is Australia — a rhetorical question.

Influencer (noun) — A person with a large following on a social media platform, typically Instagram, who is paid to promote products. Another term for unemployed.

Lit (adjective) — Used to describe a fun or wild event. Alternatively a person who is under the influence of drugs or alcohol. For example: Did you hear someone broke a marble table at the lit party in Tony Abbott’s office after the leadership spill.

Make XYZ Great Again — a campaign slogan popularised by Donald Trump in 2016, after Ronald Reagan’s 1980 slogan “Let’s Make American Great Again”.

Mansplain (verb) — When a man unnecessarily explains something to a woman who is already well versed in that topic. Mel Gibson in What A Woman Wants.

Me too (adjective) — A movement against sexual harassment and sexual assault that aims to break the silence of victims (without their permission, if you email Tracy Spicer).

Meme (verb) — A template for jokes shared on social media that mixes still and moving pictures with text and popular culture references. Basically, in jokes.

Milkshake duck (noun) — A seemingly innocent individual (often held up as a hero) who is later revealed to be flawed. A Karl Stefanovic in 2015 v Karl Stefanovic in 2018 (also Don Burke and Aung San Suu Kyi).

Nation building (noun) — An excuse given used to re-announce old infrastructure projects with no new money.

NEG — a) National Energy Guarantee: A regulatory obligation imposed on energy companies to provide a reliable supply of energy while meeting emissions reduction targets

b) An insult wrapped in a compliment.

Normcore (noun) — A style of dressing that involves deliberate choice of unremarkable or unfashionable casual clothing. For example: what dads wear.

Photobomb (verb) — Someone or something that unexpectedly appears in the background of a photograph, often as a prank or practical joke.

Planking (verb) — The act of lying completely flat across anything. The preferred internet fad of those with vertigo.

Postal survey (noun) — An expensive, not compulsory, not binding outsourcing of a politician’s already taxpayer funded job to the wider population. Potentially a conspiracy to boost Australia’s Post bottom line.

Post-truth (adjective) — Circumstances in which objective facts are less influential in shaping public opinion than emotion or personal belief. An excuse used by people too lazy to read a peer reviewed study

Quiet Australians (collective noun) — a hybrid of John Howard’s “battlers” and the “silent majority” that can be used to describe any group of people you wish to speak on behalf of.

Ratio (noun, verb) — When the number of negative replies to a tweet vastly outnumber the retweets and favourites. The online equivalent of Fraser Anning and egg boy.

Rideshare (verb) — An arrangement in which a passenger travels in a private vehicle driven by its owner for a fee. A taxi but with free water or mints where the driver is paid less.

Savings (noun) — Another word for cuts.

Selfie (informal noun) — A photograph that one takes of oneself and often shared on social media. A guaranteed terrible way to take a photo.

Single use (adjective) — Designed to be used once and then disposed of or destroyed. How political parties treat Australian prime ministers.

Shoey (verb) — a) Drinking an alcoholic beverage from a shoe, typically to celebrate a sporting victory. b) when a public servant terribly photoshops a pair of white shoes onto Scott Morrison’s feet.

Smashed avocado (noun) — A popular breakfast, typically consisting of a slice of toast topped with a chopped or mashed seasoned avocado, that came to symbolise the hedonistic spending that was preventing millennials from saving up to get into the housing market.

Stan (noun, verb) — An overzealous or obsessive fan. For example: Scott Morrison and the sharks or Angus Taylor and Christmas.

Swipe (noun, verb) — A snap judgment on someone or something where swiping right is deemed good and swiping left is bad, as per dating apps Tinder, Bumble and OkCupid.

Suppository of wisdom — A politician that just repeats the official line on things, originated by Tony Abbott in 2013: “No one — however smart, however well-educated, however experienced — is the suppository of all wisdom

Spilled the tea (verb) — Reveal the truth.

The Real Julia — A back up plan used by politicians after a dire poll result, coined by Julia Gillard in 2010.

There’s never been a more exciting time to be an Australian — according to Malcolm Turnbull this specifically applies to his years as prime minister from 15 September 2015 to August 24, 2018

Three word slogans — a cheaper alternative for communication when you have to pay per letter e.g. jobs and growth, stop the boats, axe the tax, continuity and change

Trumpism (noun) — the ever moving philosophy and politics espoused by a former reality TV show host.

Woke (adjective) — To have an acute awareness of social justice issues and how certain people are perceived and treated in society. Often used to negatively describe pretentious PC people.

Yeet (verb) — A exclamation without an agreed definition often used by Generation Z.

Zinger (informal noun) — An amusing remark. Often used to describe jokes made by Bill Shorten that didn’t make people laugh.