XXXX hits the spot for Liberal

You’d think it might be tricky to find XXXX in the nation’s capital.

Health Minister Greg Hunt held drinks for regional and rural Coalition MPs in Parliament House on Monday night, offering a big spread of nibbles, wine and Boags beer, our ground spies report. Enter Phillip Thompson, the newly elected Liberal member for the Townsville seat of Herbert. Thompson politely declined the Boags and instead pulled out a can of XXXX from his leather satchel, to the amusement of his colleagues. You’d think it might be tricky to find XXXX in the nation’s capital. But we understand Thompson, 31, has two fridges stocked with Queensland’s lager of choice in his Canberra office. And he just happened to have four tins in his bag for Hunt’s soiree. Along with his tattoos, beard and personal beer supply, the Afghanistan veteran and 2018 Queensland Young Australian of the Year bucks the political trend. When Strewth got in touch, Thompson was keen to confirm the details. “One hundred per cent, I absolutely did it. I didn’t want to drink that terrible Tassie beer,” he tells us. “I don’t go anywhere without XXXX. I’m from north Queensland. That’s what we do.” Thompsons says it was great to get face-to-face time with Hunt to discuss Townsville’s health concerns. “But my first concern was what beer I was going to drink.” Colleagues have nicknamed him “Pirate”.

Menzies’ cleanser

We think Pig Iron Bob would approve of Thompson’s roadies. After we brought you news of the Liberals’ latest “1944 Menzies-2019 Morrison” mug on Wednesday, our resident historian and tome-lord Troy Bramston (author of Robert Menzies: The Art of Politics) imparted that the Liberal Party founder’s drink of choice was neither tea or coffee. “He was famous for making a lethal martini in a glass jug. Three parts gin, one part vermouth, with ice and lemon rind — always stirred, never shaken,” Bramston says. Keep in mind, this was all before dinner. His post-meal digestive was scotch whisky with soda and ice.

Cheesy line

Forget the quinoa corridor, the chicken line and the latte belt. “Our members for parliament on this side of the house don’t live inside the goat’s cheese circle like most of the people on the other side of the house,” Communications Minister and grey suit fan Paul Fletcher theorised in question time on Thursday. As irony would have it, hours later goat’s cheese was on the menu in the Great Hall at the Migration and Settlement Awards. “Meredith goats’ zucchini roulade, corn bisque, seed — grain” was the entree served up to Scott Morrison, Immigration Minister David Coleman, Social Services Minister Anne Ruston, National Disability Insurance Scheme Minister Stuart Robert and Labor leader Anthony Albanese.

The farce is strong

Surely it’s no coincidence that hours after the final trailer for Star Wars Episode IX: The Rise of Skywalker was released, the Prime Minister was on his feet with a new catchphrase about Labor frontbencher Jim Chalmers. “The shadow treasurer served at the knee of Wayne Swan,” Morrison told question time on Wednesday. “He’s at one with the former treasurer. He’s Obi-Swan Kenobi. As he looks up to his great mentor, with whom he merges, he hears him say, ‘Use the taxes, Jimmy. Use the taxes.’ ”

After that take-down we’re puzzled: does that make the PM Darth Vader? Who kills the Jedi master in Episode IV during a lightsabre duel? Perhaps Morrison should have consulted Attorney-General Christian Porter, who tattooed an X-Wing on his chest in June. Not content with providing just one offering to the makers of the ABC’s Insiders montage, Morrison doubled down with this offering on Thursday about Chalmers’s 2013 literary debut. “In Glory Daze, the shadow treasurer was talking about his glory days as the chief of staff to Wayne Swan. And he said the chief of staff job is tremendous and it’s worth the greying hair and expanding waistline. All at once you are the key adviser and confidant to the treasurer. This requires a closeness with the boss and the ability to know his mind without even speaking to him about every issue.” Chalmers heckled back: “You’re the only one that’s read it … No wonder the economy’s cooked, you’re sitting around reading books.” But nothing could stop the PM’s Death Star: “He was at one with Obi-Swan, Mr Speaker. He was at one with Obi-Swan. And he remains at one with Obi-Swan, Mr Speaker, in this place. And if he listens to the Yoda of the time, Kevin Rudd, all he can hear is: ‘Higher taxes, he must. Higher taxes, he must’.” Labor rebutted: “Great work, Jar Jar Binks.” But it couldn’t cut through the laughs. May the force be with you. And also with you.

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