Bubble wage bump

Scott Morrison has signed off on 52 pay rises for staff in his wing.

52 people in the PM’s so-called “Star Chamber” were lucky enough to score a secret taxpayer-funded pay rise. Picture: AAP

It pays to be in power. Especially if you’re one of the 52 people in Scott Morrison’s so-called “Star Chamber” lucky enough to score a secret taxpayer-funded pay rise. According to the Department of Finance, as of October 1 the Prime Minister has signed off on 52 “personal staff” in his ministerial wing being paid a “salary that is above the top of the range of their classification”, adding an extra $1,414,272 a year to the budget.

So, who are they and how much are we paying them? We don’t know. The department won’t disclose which offices they work in or the exact dollar amounts they’re taking home. However, we do know it’s above the $269,631 salary plus $32,846 benefits package (including a private plate vehicle) paid to other senior staff. That means the favoured 52 are likely earning more than the average backbench politician, who as of July 1 has a base salary of $211,250 plus entitlements. Since the government’s surprise return in May, 10 people have been bumped up to the mystery bonus amount, at a cost of $260,272. By comparison, when Malcolm Turnbull was prime minister back on February 27 last year there were 26 staff paid “above the range” with an annual additional cost of $761,004.

Remains of the pay

Those outside the exclusive Canberra pay bump bubble aren’t happy. One staff member accused the fortunate 52 of “cheating the system” while all other government, opposition and crossbench staff are under a 2 per cent pay freeze. And while you may not be sympathetic, keep in mind the lowest paid electoral staff earn $50,956 a year, (plus $28,213 in overtime), while at the other end of the scale, Morrison’s on $549,222.

Winging it

Finance Minister Mathias Cormann has promised the public service growth will be “as high as necessary and as low as possible”, but it’s a different story in the ballooning blue carpet wing of Parliament House. The Morrison ministerial wing has 410.9 people in “personal employee” positions. That includes 13 people (up two from last year) in Chief Government Whip Bert van Manen’s office. He has more staff than 17 ministers, including Nationals deputy Bridget McKenzie. Why? Because his office houses the Coalition’s dirt unit. Which on paper goes by the name Members and Senators Support Unit.

Word of mouse

First Anthony Albanese fussed over a ferret on Sunday. Now we’ve got Tanya Plibersek referencing rats on the ABC.

Michael Rowland: There is lots of chatter, as you know, within Labor ranks ahead of the release of the report into your election loss earlier this year and some in Labor are saying that your former leader Bill Shorten is copping an unfair amount of the blame for that loss. Do you share that view?

Plibersek: I have made my views clear to the people conducting the inquiry and I’ll leave it at that, thanks very much. I thought you were going to ask me about the rats, Michael.

The rats … in the Labor ranks?

Plibersek later clarified she wasn’t offering to dish the dirt or referencing the cult 1996 documentary about Labor operatives at Sydney’s Leichhardt Council.

Before people get too excited, @mjrowland68 and I were having a laugh about exciting news that scientists have trained rats to drive tiny cars to collect food. Amazing! https://t.co/kzRBv7HVDN pic.twitter.com/X3DICV8Mr1

— Tanya Plibersek (@tanya_plibersek) October 23, 2019

“Before people get too excited,” she tweeted, “(Rowland) and I were having a laugh about this exciting news that scientists have trained rats to drive tiny cars to collect food. Amazing!”

Astute rodent historians may recall that Plibersek was given a rat — which her son named Templeton, after the antihero in Charlotte’s Web — by the Chaser boys during the 2016 election campaign. Strewth is sad to report that Templeton is no longer with us. “He couldn’t drive, but he made a great pet,” Plibersek eulogised.

Clearing desk raids

Meanwhile in Queensland, One Nation MP Stephen Andrew has apologised after a group he was escorting were caught rummaging through MPs desks in the Legislative Chamber on Saturday night. “I did not condone any of the behaviour of the people that was there,” Andrew explained. “It was utterly unacceptable and I did ask those people to stop and I did regain those people and took them straight away from the house … The flipping of the lids did occur, there was no paperwork or anything looked at.” Andrew added: “It was a dark evening. There was nothing actually looked at.”

Beyond words

Brava to the keyboard monkeys behind transcription site tveeder who threw up this title for Energy Minister Angus Taylor: “Feminist effort energy and emissions reduction minister”.

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