Where’s Linda Reynolds?

On leave Defence Minister was enjoying a pasta and glass of wine when Lib MP Julian Leeser stumbled across her.

Defence Minister Linda Reynolds.

On leave Defence Minister Linda Reynolds was wining and dining at an Italian restaurant in the leafy NSW town of Goulburn on Thursday when Liberal MP Julian Leeser stumbled across her.

Leeser was travelling back to his northern Sydney electorate at the end of another long week when he spotted Reynolds and co at La Casa Italiana.

Strewth understands the ailing senator has been instructed by senior government figures to keep a low profile in Canberra during her five-week convalescence, presumably at her Narrabundah home, but instead went to stay with a good friend 91km up the Federal Highway.

“She’s getting better,” Leeser said of his chance encounter with his West Australian colleague. “[Reynolds] was having dinner with a friend and I joined them for a bowl of pasta. It’s entirely reasonable, people have to eat, and she should be able to share a quiet meal with friends.

“She needs to be close to her cardiologist and that’s why she has been staying in Goulburn with her friends”.

Reynolds’s office confirmed the story to Strewth, adding that since being admitted to a Canberra hospital for a pre-existing heart condition on February 24, the minister has “remained in the Canberra region to be close to her doctor and cardiologist”.

“Last week, she spent a few days staying with a good friend in Goulburn, while continuing her recovery and remaining close to her medical care in Canberra,” a spokeswoman said.

We’re told Reynolds drank a single glass of wine, which doesn’t conflict with doctor’s orders. Lesser had a Diet Coke.

Reynolds is on sick leave until April 2 so won’t front Senate estimates on Wednesday when her department will face scrutiny about its $90bn submarines. Foreign Minister Marise Payne will be there in her place, hopefully to clear up why a new office set up to investigate 19 war criminals has no investigators.

After this paper revealed Reynolds called alleged rape survivor Brittany Higgins a “lying cow” — a slur she was forced to retract publicly and pay her former media adviser an undisclosed sum in damages — there was speculation she wouldn’t return to the Canberra Bubble™.

Not so, according to her office, which said the Defence Minister was “looking forward to returning to work”.

Julian Leeser.

The heavens open

Hours after the Liberal desk wanker was sacked (following a literal expose by this paper’s own Peter van Onselen), politicians were surprised to see this email arrive in their work inbox.

“Dear Senators and Members,” wrote Eric Burton, chaplain of the Parliamentary Christian Fellowship. “Morning Prayer will be held in the Meditation Room from 7:30am — 7:50am tomorrow Wednesday March 24. Morning Tea to follow.” The theme of the morning prayers is “The Prodigal Son: parable of Jesus”.

Will the Messiah from the Shire attend?

Nearly 30 Labor and Greens staff staged a sit-in on Tuesday morning in said prayer room. It would take a braver person than Strewth to touch any surfaces in that room, given whistleblower claims that staff and parliamentarians often used it for sex.

“We’re angry,” Labor adviser Georgia Tree told Strewth. “One of the first things taught to me as a young junior staffer … was if anything ever happens to you, don’t say anything because it will ruin your career.”

She said the past month of revelations had been “disgusting” and “humiliating” for women.

“I don’t know how I’m going to go back home and look my grandparents in the eye after working in this building this week.”

Quote of the week

Liberal backbencher Russell Broadbent: “I would also say to you there has been a lot of discussion about women but I think this is a man’s problem.”

Watch this space

Remember Josh Frydenberg’s Oprah moment from the 2019 budget … You get a car park! You get a car park! Everyone gets a car park!

The $500m National (actually just WA, Victoria, NSW and Queensland) Commuter Car Park Fund promised 47 car park projects, 37 of which were in Liberal electorates and four in the Treasurer’s seat of Kooyong.

Two years on, how many have been built?

“Two are complete,” Infrastructure assistant secretary Phil Smith told Senate estimates. “Three are under construction.”

Both completed car parks were joint financial efforts with Daniel Andrews’s Victorian state government. The 250 extra spaces at Beaconsfield Station car park cost taxpayers $4.7m and the 120 spaces at Hurstbridge Station $3m. Bargain!

Josh Frydenberg.

This is just attribute

If you wanted another real world example about the snail’s pace of the public service, look no further!

Liberal senator Amanda Stoker was appointed as the Assistant Minister to the Attorney-General on December 22 but didn’t get a tab on the department’s website until March 19. After Scott Morrison delegated Christian Porter’s responsibilities for the federal court and any decisions related to the ABC.

“The department maintains ministerial websites on behalf of the Attorney-General and the Assistant Minister to the Attorney-General,” the A-G’s jargon jockeys explained to Strewth. “The process for establishing the Assistant Minister’s website was recently finalised and, shortly after it was made live on Friday 19 March, links were added to the home page of the department’s website and the Attorney-General’s website. This is in line with the approach for ministerial websites. Until the website was developed and made live, a temporary webpage was in place to support the assistant minister.”

Attorney-General Christian Porter.

Lift off

Overheard in rural and regional affairs estimates, on the subject of half-price flights …

Labor senator Murray Watt: “You would then work out which destinations got how many flights?”

Infrastructure deputy secretary Christine Dacey: “Yes … Let’s just say for argument’s sake you get 20.”

Watt: “Am I an airline? Or a destination?”

Dacey: “Yes, you’re an airline.”

Watt: “Just a bit of role playing.

Dacey: “And then we would — ”

Watt: “I think I’d rather be a destination than an airline, but anyway.”

Labor Senator Murray Watt.

In other aerial news, officials from the departmental confirmed Joe the Pigeon has not been euthanised! His American tag was a fake and it turns out Joe was in fact “a little Aussie battler”. “Maybe he’s a dual citizen,” Labor senator Raff Ciccone fancied.

Joe The Pigeon update!🕊️#auspol#estimates#littleaussiebattlerhttps://t.co/YdX01PF2c2pic.twitter.com/xCkZSqocFL

— Senator Raff Ciccone (@SenRaffCiccone) March 23, 2021

On the house

Here’s a far too real (estate) headline from satirical outlet The Shovel: “House Floating Down Sydney Street Sells For $3m”. No doubt, well above its reserve.

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