Strewth: World of difference

It appears Liberal MP Andrew Laming didn’t get Scott Morrison’s message about the UN.

Asked how his UN group jelled with ScoMo’s credo, Andrew Laming assured Strewth he was on brand. Picture: AAP

It appears Liberal MP Andrew Laming didn’t get Scott Morrison’s message about the UN being an “unaccountable internationalist bureaucracy” that he wants Australia to steer clear of. The member for Bowman in Queensland has invited all his upper and lower house colleagues to the Wednesday night launch of Parliamentary Friends of the United Nations and UN Agencies, which he is co-convening with Labor MP Sharon Claydon. According to Laming’s invitation, the group is “driven to raise awareness of the important role the UN and UN agencies play”.

This is in stark contrast to the Prime Minister’s comments this month that the government “can never answer to a higher authority than the people of Australia” and “should avoid any reflex towards a negative globalism that coercively seeks to impose a mandate from an often ill-defined borderless global community and, worse still, an unaccountable internationalist bureaucracy”.

We understand the launch, which has a dress code of “business attire/national dress”, is doubling as a drinks and canapes event for the UN Alumni Network, which roughly translates to a networking/job corkboard piss-up in partnership with the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade.

Asked how his UN group jelled with ScoMo’s credo, Laming assured Strewth he was on brand: “Friends like me help make the UN more accountable and less bureaucratic.”

No minister

Senate estimates has thrown up a fascinating alternative timeline. A Border Force officer accidentally awarded Jacqui Lambie the title of “Minister Lambie” during hearings on Monday. No word on what portfolio Lambie would be tasked with. Veterans Affairs seems appropriate. Perhaps she could take over from Peter Dutton in Home Affairs? Imagine!

Sallying forth

The real bureaucratic boss of our borders, Home Affairs secretary Michael Pezzullo, may have inadvertently outed himself as a secret rom-com fan. When pushed by Labor’s Kristina Keneally on the number of onshore arrivals, he answered that 92,000 people sought onshore visas in the past five years.

When Harry met Sally at Senate Estimates #auspol pic.twitter.com/SkplnpqsPt

— Rex Patrick (@Senator_Patrick) October 21, 2019

New Liberal senator Sarah Henderson followed up by asking how this compared with other countries. Pezzullo replied that among Five Eyes counterparts “there is a degree of incomprehension that we have got the numbers as under control as possible … Frankly, the reaction we get is the Meg Ryan reaction — ‘We’ll have what they’re having’.” A reference to the scene from When Harry Met Sally where Ryan fakes a certain response while sitting at a restaurant table in front of shocked onlookers.

Pyne away

“I’ve got to say, I listened to the first one. Ten or 15 minutes in, I wasn’t sure whether it was about you or Peter Helliar.” That was Sky News host Laura Jayes’s review of citizen Christopher Pyne’s new podcast. “I know it’s a terrible problem,” the Pyne Time host replied. “Annabel Crabb(’s podcast episode) comes out today and she said to my wife that she felt it was actually a podcast about me, using people as a prop so I can talk about myself more. Of course she is ultra critical.” Maybe next week’s guest, former ABC Insiders host Barrie Cassidy, will be less critical (if he gets a word in). Jayes also took the time to inquire about whether the suddenly pensive Pyne ever had the factional support to have a real crack at becoming prime minister. “I worked out long ago that my place was to be the leader of the house, member of the leadership group, a cabinet minister, one of the leaders of the moderate grouping in the parliamentary party, and I became very pleased and satisfied with that position as opposed to being the leader,” the former defence minister said, adding: “Everyone’s got to know their place in the solar system. I think the leaders are usually going to come from the eastern seaboard, and they’re not usually going to be from the smaller liberal side of the party.”

Sweet deal

News from the beehive. (And we don’t mean New Zealand’s parliament).

“On Tuesday 22 October Parliament House will install a native stingless bee hive in the Staff Dining Room Courtyard,” an email sent by the Department of Parliamentary Services says.

“These bees will not affect staff members or the childcare centre as they are stingless and harmless.” While it may burst some politicians bubble, the DPS has offered this sweetener: the hexagon hives will be opened once a year to harvest 1kg of honey, which then will be sold in the Parliament House gift shop.

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