What Daniel Andrews forgot
Victorian Labor claims to have cleaned house, post its branch stacking scandal … but we can reveal it missed one vital spot.
Premier Daniel Andrews sacked Adem Somyurek from state cabinet on June 15 and the foul-mouthed powerbroker resigned from the party that same day, before federal Labor leader Anthony Albanese could move to expel him.
But! The national right forgot to remove him from a WhatsApp thread with politicians and staffers.
Whoops!
At 2:48pm on Tuesday, Somyurek finally sent the group this missive: “Please take me off this.”
As persuasive as ever, he was consciously uncoupled shortly after.
That means for 72 days, the former Labor member had access to the inner workings of the faction, ironically known as Labor Unity. It gives added meaning to the term “faceless man”!
What prompted Somyurek’s request to leave?
A message from NSW senator Tony Sheldon, sharing his own tweet that slapped down Qantas’s job cuts as “an evil act of corporate bastardry”.
Today's announcement from #qantas is an evil act of corporate bastardry.
— Senator Tony Sheldon (@senator_sheldon) August 25, 2020
No surprise that corporations will ruthlessly use this crisis.
But @ScottMorrisonMP & @M_McCormackMP have no excuse.
We need a national aviation plan to protect local jobs & skills. #auspol #ausunions
Fair enough!
Will Albanese stack this fail up as a “matter for the organisational wing”?
Tragically, we hear our interest in the pocket conversations has shut down the secret chat. For now.
Bosom buddies
The transcript of Labor coal hugger Joel Fitzgibbon and Nationals non-leadership contender Barnaby Joyce’s weekly Sunrise appearance was curiously absent from Strewth’s inbox this week. The interview is typically typed up by a scribe in Fitz’s office, then sent to the Opposition Leader’s Media Unit for approval and distribution to the press gallery. Could this chummy exchange — featuring Fitz’s warning that Labor could split in two — be why Team Albanese didn’t want us to see it?
Joyce: “I think he’s telling the truth. I think it’s ridiculous — you can’t have the Kristina Keneally party running around the Hunter Valley, talking about Labor for environmental reasons to put you out of a job. And then have Joel out there trying to say that we support the workers. They’re two different parties. They got two different causes. One is to put people out of work, one is trying to put people in work. Joel is in the minority and how does he deal with this? How do you live in a house divided against itself, and the reality is that, on this issue, I’m on Joel’s side — but Joel has to work out what happens at the election when Mr Albanese turns up and says: Well, actually, I’m on Kristina Keneally’s side and let’s put a few more wind towers around Muswellbrook.”
Fitzgibbon: [laughing] “I think it‘s great to have Barnaby on my side, it’s no doubt going to prove to be an enormous assistance to me. Look, the reason this segment on your program rates so highly is that Barnaby and I call a spade a spade and are always very robust and honest in our language. And that’s what I intend to continue to be, someone who speaks his mind, in the interests of the Labor Party, the Labor Party I love so much.”
Host, David Koch: “All right.”
Joyce: “I like this man.”
Koch: [laughing] “He’s making Labor great again.”
Explosive branch stacking allegations have rocked the Victorian Liberal party overnight.
— Sunrise (@sunriseon7) August 23, 2020
Federal MPs @Barnaby_Joyce and @FitzHunter joined us to share their thoughts on the scandal. pic.twitter.com/26cCXMpUeO
Doth protest too much?
It’s the question on every out-of-the-loop MP’s lips — who is briefing against who!
Barnaby was asked whether he is behind the leaks about Michael McCormack’s leadership.
“No, I think everybody would know that,” the former Nats leader said.
“I think McCormack Morrison is going to be one of the greatest stars and it’s going to ride all the way to the election like a famous western. And, well, you know. BigMac and ScoMo — BigMo.”
Yes: BigMo!
“No, I’m not,” he continued.
“ I’m just surprised at everybody else and of course you read it and try to decipher what you think’s behind it and who’s behind it.
“But I’ve got no hope.”
Does David Littleproud want to be leader? “Well, everyone’s got ambition,” he admitted.
MickMack man Darren Chester called the gallery whispers “a load of absolute crap”.
So his leadership is … safe?
According to former deputy Nationals leader Bridget McKenzie: “Absolutely.”
Born n bred
Labor MP Stephen Jones has a rather, um, Tasmanian take on the junior Coalition partner.
“You’ve got the National Party, and there’s only 15 of them, they’re all related, they’re about as stable as a two-legged barstool and can’t work out who amongst them is going to run the show.”
Today we learned the Nationals are planning another leadership spill. Wobbly stools lead to messy spills pic.twitter.com/lBE5QVxOj0
— Stephen Jones MP (@StephenJonesMP) August 25, 2020
Bipartisan pub test
One surprise figure has backed in McCormack — Labor’s own Patrick Gorman!
Here’s his logic: “So, we’ve got a Prime Minister refusing to actually remove his Aged Care Minister, refusing to do anything about Michael Sukkar; the Coalition solution is to remove Michael McCormack.
“Of all the people you’d be looking to remove today, Michael McCormack should not be at the top of the list.”
How strange.
Why did the member for Perth feel the need to go full knight in shining armour for his political opponent?
Gorman said: “Don’t know why I’m defending him, but he shouldn’t be at the top of the list today.”
No spring chicken
KFC is temporarily dropping its “Finger Licking Good” catchphrase because the fowl eatery “decided that in the context of this year, it doesn’t feel quite right for the time being”.
Zinger king Bill Shorten is on board.
“When we go through the drive by to get the Dirty Bird, I like the kids to have a bit of a paper towel actually, the kids love it, but I reckon you should wipe your hands,” the former Labor leader said.
Seconds later we heard Shorten say: “Why don’t you just skip the fingers and lick the chicken?”
What a free range-ing opinion.
Rising above
Strewth’s spies within the ABC’s NewsRadio — which likes to boast that it *exclusively* broadcasts live proceedings from federal parliament — have given top video conferencing marks to Labor MP Graham Perrett.
“During (Monday’s) condolence motion before question time, when all members in the chamber rose to their feet, GP was the only one among those who’d dialled in, to stand up too”.
Perrett confirmed that was the case, adding: “Unfortunately it revealed the Hansard gap behind me but respect is respect.”
Hear hear!
In order to meet the prescribed blank wall or book backyard, Perrett ended up perched on a stool in Sunnybank, with his laptop elevated on a box of paper for the hour.
“You call it a printing box, us IT people call it a computer support tool — CST in the lingo,” he joked.
Whilst I would love to be in Canberra, participating virtually from Sunnybank is next best thing. First photo is my view of parliament on a laptop, then the setup that hooks me into the parliament. Strange times indeed but I can still help hold the LNP Government to account. #QT pic.twitter.com/PxMmpKZoCI
— Graham Perrett (@GrahamPerrettMP) August 24, 2020
End of his Korea?
Non Sequitur of the Week! From FOTP Pop News. “North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un is ‘in a coma’ according to reports by TMZ. The news comes at the first anniversary of Taylor Swift’s 7th studio album Lover!”
strewth@theaustralian.com.au
Libs should be-Ware what they say about JWH
Could things get any worse for the Liberals in Hughes? Well, strap in. Diary can reveal that Liberal candidate Jenny Ware once called John Winston Howard ‘out of touch’.
Believe in your selfie, Andrew
Kevin Rudd appears to have met his selfie match in Andrew Charlton.
Victorian Labor claims to have cleaned house, post its branch stacking scandal … but Strewth can reveal it missed one vital spot.