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What a wheeze for Clive Palmer

December is not yet upon us but the silly season appears to have dawned already.

The Jamie Briggs removalist truck spotted in London.
The Jamie Briggs removalist truck spotted in London.

December is not yet upon us but the silly season appears to have dawned already. Fresh from outlining his “solution” to the issue of marriage equality, the simplest and most clearly understood policy position since Pauline Hanson’s Easytax, Clive Palmer came wheezing his way onto Insiders yesterday. Quizzed on his hopes for the next election his answer was pretty silly season too. “Well, we think in the Senate we’ll do better than we did last time,” came the reply.

Greens’ Arena

Yesterday was a biggie for the Greens, who unveiled their you-beaut Renew Australia road map they say would see 90 per cent of our power come from renewables by 2030. Leader Richard Di Natale has been steering hard to centre but there was a nice sop to the left in the fine print of yesterday’s package. On the back of the bumf was the line “Printed on 100% recycled paper by Arena Printing, 2 Kerr Street, Fitzroy.” Arena Printing isn’t only noteworthy for occupying one of the few industrial premises near that hipster haven Brunswick Street that hasn’t been converted to warehouse apartments. It’s also the publishing arm of Arena magazine, an impenetrable journal of Marxist-orientated thought that has been wittering away about postcolonialism, postmodernism and post-structuralism for more than half a century. “Arena has never accepted government support of any kind and has been fortunate to have been valued sufficiently by its friends for them to help its development financially in a variety of ways” its website says. Such as printing contracts from the Greens.

Careful with the table

Photographed by an eagle-eyed reader last week not just in London but in the very heart of Whitehall — this removalists’ van from a firm that no doubt specialises in the most delicate of government jobs, Jamie Briggs Removals. Just don’t ask them about marble tables.

Something fishy

Strewth’s attention is drawn to news on the down-with-the-kidz website BuzzFeed about Sydney’s new all-vegan fish and chip shop, located — surprise, surprise — in the very epicentre of the gentrified inner west, the achingly hip Newtown. It’s not so much the details of the chemistry behind the totally plant-based and (largely) gluten-free and coeliac friendly rendering of chip shop favourites that leap out but the story of the cafe’s inspiration: “Owner Liss Harry told BuzzFeed Life that she came up with the idea during Vispassana, a 10-day silent meditation.” Quite.

Blank verse

Christmas is just around the corner and the letterbox is overflowing with catalogues. At least that’s what Strewth thinks one is: promotional material for the latest version of what we used to call executive toys, as opposed to an exercise in William Burroughs school of cut-up poetry where words are chosen at random and assembled to form the very blankest of blank verse. But you be the judge. Make what you will of this extract: “Can be twisted like a ball bouncing ball after. Safety grease materials, not easily changed with the passage of time or crushed dried. Who preferred white-collar and high-pressure, stress relief vent emotions yield.”

Goodwill and charity

Christmas comes to Canberra today with Speaker Tony Smith and Senate President Scott Parry switching on the lights of a six-metre Christmas tree in the Marble Hall of Parliament House and announcing which charities will benefit from this year’s present program. There’s got to be some goodwill and charity somewhere around the place after all.

Original URL: https://www.theaustralian.com.au/commentary/strewth/what-a-wheeze/news-story/4d6430b3c0512d04e3abe817d45d5df8