Vale Tim Fischer

The former deputy prime minister is a Strewth Hall Of Famer.

Vale Tim Fischer

The ultimate gentleman, farmer, soldier, politician, husband, father, author, radio host, ambassador, rolling stock and train enthusiast, Tim Fischer has died after a 10-year cancer fight.

The former deputy prime minister is a Strewth Hall of Famer, from his famous mixed metaphors to his witty one-liners and missives musing about life.

Fischer’s talent for gentle self-promotion was based on a shrewd understanding of the rhythms of the newspaper business, says Steve Waterson, who edited Strewth’s predecessor, Melba, in the mid-1990s.

“He’d call most Sunday lunchtimes from wherever in the country he happened to be, saying he felt sorry for a lonely journo on a slow news day,” Waterson recalls.

One Sunday in 1994 the call came from Mount Arapiles in western Victoria, which Fischer had just climbed with Jon Muir, a member of Australia’s bicentennial Everest expedition. 

“We drank a bottle of Robinvale champagne at the top,” Fischer said, morphing from Nationals leader to wine critic, “which is magnificent at that altitude and temperature.”

Waterson asked how Fischer had found a phone in such a remote location.

“Ah, there are some things only us country blokes know,” Fischer replied.

When in Rome

In tribute to the Boy from Boree Creek, we’ve dug into the Strewth archives and hand-picked two of our favourites.

July 22, 2008: “Australia’s newly appointed ambassador to the Holy See, the normally motormouthed, Akubra-wearing Tim Fischer, was keeping tight-lipped about his appointment when Strewth ran into him on Sunday in Centennial Park, just outside Benedict XVI’s final mass. He told us he was a ‘less than perfect practising Catholic’ who was drawn to the mass by a ‘complex set of reasons’, but no mention was made of the job Kev08 had him lined up for. Fischer was busy waffling on about the soles of his favourite pair of joggers that parted company from the uppers during his trek to the overnight vigil on Saturday. “While I was walking to the vigil and back, I kid you not, I lost both soles. I hope I’ve still got another soul left.”

January 28, 2011: “Locomotive-loving national treasure and ambassador to the Holy See, Tim Fischer, will be in one of his natural environments today, by which we mean: at a train station. After flying into Melbourne from Rome this morning, His Timness will head north to Albury station to return a wedding ring to Maria Evans, who mislaid it during her visit for the Mary MacKillop canonisation. Observes His Timness, ‘I am happy to help and the diversity of work as an ambassador never ceases to amaze. One day there is this, proving there are many great and honest people in Rome, to helping clergy with deep vein thrombosis, through to boosting the Australian case for the SKA Radio Telescope project and site in Western Australia. It is a pleasure to do this in liaison with my colleague to Italy, ambassador David Ritchie, and the SKA Project Team.’ Tim, you never cease to amaze us, either.”

Premier priorities

Eyebrows were raised on Wednesday night at a charity event celebrating Uniting Church minister Bill Crews and 30 years of the Exodus Foundation when organisers realised NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian was MIA. Berejiklian was scheduled as the first speaker but kept guests and at the Sydney Park Hyatt and MC John Mangos waiting for more than a half-hour. Strewth understands she was busy dealing with her “crisis of government”, as former minister for women Tanya Davies described it, while the upper house debated decriminalising abortion well past 10pm. Davies and colleague Kevin Conolly haven’t ruled out quitting the Liberals over the bill, a move that would kill Berejiklian’s two-seat majority. When the Premier didn’t appear, Bill Shorten stepped in to save the day. The former federal Labor leader took to the stage to deliver a heartfelt speech about Crews’s decision to give up engineering (he built the first machine in Australia to grow ultra-pure single-crystal silicon) for a life helping the homeless and poor with meals, healthcare and hope. When Berejiklian eventually arrived, audience members say she gave a brief “fluffy” hallmark address before rushing back to the hell mouth.

Leading question

As the NSW Liberal leader’s job appears to be in the balance, today marks a year since Malcolm Turnbull demanded 43 signatures before calling a second and fatal leadership spill. Which raises the question: Which job is more dangerous — Liberal leader or drummer for Spinal Tap?

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