The Odd Couple

Paleo Pete Evans came to Parliament House to press the flesh with Craig Kelly.

Pete Evans and Craig Kelly pose in Parliament House.

Paleo Pete Evans came to Parliament House to press the flesh with Craig Kelly. “Pete had the herbal tea, I had the cappuccino with two sugars,” Kelly told Strewth about the meeting in his parliamentary office on Thursday. No activated almond milk here — Kelly takes his coffee with full cream. The pair happily posed for this paper’s own gumshoe, Olivia Caisley, after she spotted them strolling through the marble foyer. It was a busy day for the newly independent Kelly, who shared breakfast in Manuka with fellow colourful crossbencher Bob Katter. But back to the dumped reality TV chef. Evans entered the Canberra Bubble™ with former One Nation senator Rodney Culleton, who was wheeling along a rather large suitcase. Carrying one of the debunked $15k COVID light machines? Evans plans to run for a NSW Senate seat under Culleton’s new political endeavour — the Great Australia Party. Despite his personal ban from Facebook and Instagram, Evans has a political page on Facebook with more than 6000 followers, peddling the usual mix of conspiracy and sovereign citizen theories (BYO tin foil hat). Kelly, for his part, is back on Facebook posting after a brief hiatus for peddling unproven COVID-19 miracle cures, including a dog heartworm treatment. Would the former Liberal ever consider joining the Great Australian Party? No, Kelly told Strewth. “They’re nice guys, they’re doing their thing, I’ll do my sort of thing. I think Pete’s a nice guy, I don’t agree with everything he says but if we only speak to people we 100 per cent agree with, it’s going to be a pretty sad world,” he said.

Sign me up

Alarm bells went off when Nationals backbencher George Christensen was seen circulating a petition on Thursday.

Sadly for spill fans, it wasn’t a repeat of Malcolm Turnbull’s long last week as prime minister. Christensen was collecting signatures from colleagues who want Nicolle Flint to recant her resignation and stay for another term in federal politics.

We’re told dozens and dozens of lower house Liberals and Nationals added their names, politely demanding “You have to reconsider!”

Flint — one of only 11 Liberal women in the House of Representatives who was identified by Scott Morrison as a future cabinet minister — shocked many when she decided to walk away at the next election after enduring years of abuse.

Last year, the South Australian made global headlines when she donned a garbage bag in response to a sexist article criticising her clothing.

Talk about taking out the trash!

Will the pen and paper petition change Flint’s mind? “I’m humbled and flattered but it’s not going to work,” the outgoing member for Boothby told Strewth.

Nicolle Flint.

The only way is up

Overheard outside the upper house: “There’s some kind of sticky liquid on the floor. Can someone get security to clean it up?” A shot to this stiff chaser line of questioning by Greens senator Jordan Steele-John in Senate estimates. In the past 20 years, taxpayers have spent more than $50m subsidising erectile dysfunction drugs. Health Department officials confirmed that Sildenafil (aka Viagra) and four other impotence aides are listed on the Pharmaceutical Benefits Scheme. Yet, the government plans to cut off people with a disability from sex-based support “On the one hand, the government is happy to fund a sex-based support for people with erectile dysfunction while condemning sex-based supports for disabled people,” Steele-John told Strewth. “It is a good thing these drugs are funded under the PBS, but this blatant double standard is another example of how this government applies one set of standards to men while applying another set of standards to everyone else.”

Wool over your eyes

Is Australian Wool trying to do a backdoor deal with North Korea?

The latest strategy document by taxpayer-funded Australian Wool Innovation lists little rocket man Kim Jong-un as one of its seven “key target markets” alongside Bangladesh, Bhutan, Cambodia, Laos, Myanmar and Sri Lanka.

Ewe’ve got to be kidding!

AWI chief executive Stuart McCullough was sheepish when asked about it in Senate estimates.

Bridget McKenzie.

Bridget McKenzie: “There’s quite a lot of commentary on North Korea in this emerging market piece … ‘North Korea has seen some real highs and lows and overall has a very inconsistent record.’ I think that would have to be the understatement of the century.”

McCullough: “Probably aspirational.”

McKenzie: “Given that we’ve got a full sanction regime against trading things like wool and textiles with North Korea, I’m just wondering what government departments you consulted in putting North Korea in AWI’s Emerging Market Strategy analysis.

McCullough: “I don’t think the department was contacted on that.”

McKenzie: “How did you select North Korea?”

McCullough: “There is textile processing going on there right now. We don’t ship greasy wool there, obviously, but lots of greasy wool goes to China and they don’t have the same sanction arrangements. So there’s certainly processing capacity in North Korea that’s, that’s interesting.”

McKenzie: “OK.”

McCullough: “It’s not big, it’s very primitive … it’s fair to say, senator, if you had to rank those countries out of optimistic v realistic, I think North Korea is at the bottom of the list.”

McKenzie: “Does this strategy make that clear?”

McCullough: “I’ll go back to that and make it clear.”

Senator @senbmckenzie rather unimpressed that AWI has identified North Korea as an emerging market for Australian wool. pic.twitter.com/yLpJRIpfMG

— Kath Sullivan (@KathSully) March 23, 2021

Deidre Chambers

ACT Policing has started a poster campaign in Parliament House. Haven’t they heard of social media? “Report Historic Sexual Assault Online,” a sign in the staff cafeteria says. “Reporting online means you can report at a time and from a location where you feel comfortable.” Finally!

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