Strewth: The lie of the land

Malcolm Turnbull has been dropping hints as to how he feels about his opponents (outside his own party at least).

The past few days in our nation’s democracy in a nutshell. Malcolm Turnbull has been dropping hints as to how he feels about his opponents (outside his own party at least): “Bill Shorten and his lies”; “Labor has become a party of lies, negativity and grievance. They have nothing to offer but a long, dreary whinge, interrupted by falsehoods”; and for good measure: “Bill Shorten is a liar. He cannot tell the truth. There is no point being mealy-mouthed about this. He is a liar*.” Shorten has hilariously assumed a butter-wouldn’t-melt attitude: “If he wants to play the personal insult game, he can. But he’ll be doing it on his own.” The lack-of-self-awareness juggernaut rolled on yesterday when, during an appearance on Tasmanian radio, Turnbull was invited to contemplate Shorten’s attacks on his wealth. “I think,” he replied, “it, I think, it makes him look negative, mean, nasty. You know, I don’t think it’s attractive at all.”

(*Turnbull is now on a unity ticket with Mark Latham. In an attempt to harness a bit of that 2004 election sparkle, Pauline Hanson has the former Labor leader doing robocalls on One Nation’s behalf in Longman, a one-way conversation in which Latham opines, “I’ve had personal experience with Bill Shorten’s dishonesty. He just lies and lies and lies.” For the record, Shorten has in the past accused Latham of “displaying all the attributes of a dog, except loyalty”. So, all good.)

For whom the poll tolls

Meanwhile in Tasmania, the by-election quizzing went on.

Journo: “Polling shows that you yourself are struggling. Are the by-elections a referendum on your own leadership?”

Turnbull (triggering hearty and welcome mirth): “Well, thank you. I’ll take that as a comment.”

Which should at least sort out Tony Abbott for his next 2GB appearance. Speaking of whom, the presser afforded the PM the opportunity to demonstrate the magnanimity that is the hallmark of the Liberals’ broad church.

Journo: “How do you feel campaigning alongside Brett Whiteley given at the leadership spill between you and Tony Abbott, Brett supported Abbott?”

Turnbull (amid more chuckling): “I am committed to doing everything I can to ensure that Brett is able once again to deliver for the people of Braddon.”

Credit where it’s due

If you’re in the process of, ahem, polishing your CV and in need of some inspiration, let us direct you to the “Our achievements” page on the website of Clive Palmer’s rebadged outfit, the United Australia Party. Among their noble deeds, Palmer lists: “Saved Renewable Energy Target”; “Stopped Campbell Newman”; and “Removed Bronwyn Bishop as speaker”. That is just the tip of the iceberg (no, that’s not an allusion to the never-built Titanic II). There are two entire columns and they are both oddly but undeniably uplifting. Get into it at: unitedaustraliaparty.org.au/our-achievements/

Citing Sir Humphrey

Contemplating the exits of colleagues Jenny Macklin and Michael Danby while on the ABC’s National Wrap the other night, Labor’s Kim Carr became one of the rare pollies to use TV’s most notorious fictitious public servant to argue for his own longevity: “Sir Humphrey Appleby made the point in the Yes Minister series, just when the politician gets to know something they move them on. So you do have this pattern and I have seen it in my own direct experience when I look around the room and I think to myself that my knowledge of the field might actually be stronger than the people in this room because there is so much turnover in the public service.” At which point you’d like Sir Humphrey’s sidekick Bernard Woolley to chime in.

Was lost, now found

Yesterday we ran a worrying exchange from the Today show in which Anthony Albanese, blessed with Peter Dutton as a temporary sparring partner, wondered about his regular.

Albo: “What’s he done to Christopher Pyne? … He’s probably locked him up somewhere.”

Dutton: “He’ll be back. Don’t go there, don’t go there, Albo.”

And lo, the Defence Industry Minister has checked in. “I’m in Israel,” Pyne informed Strewth. “Still very much alive!” So, phew.

Too hot for trews

While we shiver through winter/the dry season, bear a thought for Scotland as it swelters in its summer. The homepage for the West Highland Way — a 154km walk from just north of Glasgow to Fort William — carries this ominous warning for hikers: “Please take care during this spell of warm dry weather — drink plenty of water, use sunscreen and be aware of the risk of wildfires.” The forecast for the route is up to 22C. Pray for them.

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