Strewth: Right Said, Ned

Kuranda Seyit. Photo: David Geraghty

Right Said, Ned

Pauline Hanson, Ned Kelly and a burka-clad woman walk on to a Melbourne community stage, and the bartender says: “Not you again.” That may be a fun way for this imagined meeting of minds to unfurl, though a former Islamic Council of Victoria spokesman has other ideas. Kuranda Seyit, who now freelances in the space of bringing mainstream and Muslim Australia together, has written and will soon direct a play called The Gang in which he brings together the ghost of Ned Kelly, the One Nation leader and a covered woman to explore ideas about extremism in Australia. “I’d been thinking about how Ned Kelly is Australia’s national icon and just about everyone sees him as a hero, yet he was famous for wearing a mask, similar to a burka,” Seyit says of his idea. The confab, at the Castle Theatre in Dandenong, ends with Hanson “giving up to her inner-Muslim” and trying a halal snack pack. It is an absurdist drama, which is just as well because at this point Kelly’s ghost seems like the most believable narrative arc in this stage production. It would be cruel to point out, at this juncture, that Kelly was a cop killer. But such is life.

CENTRAL QUEENSLAND TOUR | Senator Hanson continues her 5 day tour of Central Queensland.

MEDIA RELEASE: https://t.co/LHsdU1ySY4 #auspol pic.twitter.com/4D130IY5I6

— Pauline Hanson (@PaulineHansonOz) October 3, 2017

Speaking of extremism

There’s no argument from us that the threat of Islamist terror as a particular ideology needs robust throttling, though we have become concerned for One Nation’s supreme leader who has been touring regional Queensland and appears to have become stuck in one of those 3G black spot areas that has, unfortunately, kept her from posting a single mention of the worst gun massacre in US history. We can’t have politicians jumping at every opportunity to condemn attacks on their social media pages — when would they ever get anything else done? — but Pauline Hanson has a very mild superpower bordering on the Time Lordian of posting about Islamist terror attacks almost as soon as they happen. Heck, almost as soon as the first responders manage to intervene. Yesterday morning, within an hour of the Las Vegas attack, Hanson posted on her Facebook page about the knife-wielding terrorist who killed two people in Marseilles. “In France overnight, there appears to be another terror attack. This time a man has gone on a killing spree using a knife. Let’s see if this is discussed this morning on Sunrise.” Good question! Alas, more than 24 hours after a 64-year-old poker player mowed down and killed at least 59 people in Las Vegas and injured more than 500, Hanson’s social media has had precisely nothing to say on the matter. The PHON leader did manage to post a happy snap of her in Rockhampton late yesterday, however. It is entirely possible the events are unconnected, though it is worth mentioning Hanson voted in favour of ending an import ban on a rapid-fire shotgun with seven-shot capacity, which seems to be the kind of gun not even a hunter would need. Unless, of course, they were attacked by seven dangerous animals in a row.

Gunderheads

There are two numbers that stand out in the horrific Las Vegas bloodbath. Gunman Stephen Paddock had 42 guns. He fired at a rate of nine rounds per second. Strewth is of the opinion that this is both 42 and nine more than necessary.

Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk. Photo: AAP

Feed the chooks chill

And so it came to pass that accidental Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk told journalists to “chill out” and stop speculating about an early state election, speculation that almost universally has been promulgated by (checks notes) the Premier herself. Palaszczuk was appointed Labor leader of a parliamentary rump that could fit in a mini-van when Campbell Newman so spectacularly squandered his electoral chances. To the dismay of her own party, she became premier and is now taunting the public with endless mystery about when the next poll will be called. Perhaps she is enjoying it; this is the last state election before four-year fixed terms begin. Your correspondent is a Queenslander and can say with some certainty that the only thing northerners hate more than daylight savings ruining the curtains is politicians dragging out drab theatrics. Peter Beattie wore out his own welcome and he had the good grace not to bore for Australia.

Federal Opposition Leader Bill Shorten at Kings Meadows Woolworths with senator Helen Polley.

Polley wants a cracker

Just a day after this newspaper revealed Tasmanian Labor senator Helen Polley had been pressured by her own colleagues to “pretend” she was in favour of marriage equality — she is not and will be voting No — Bill Shorten was asked about her predicament and neatly answered on her behalf. “Helen has been overseas, I’ve communicated with her. She is very happy with what the Labor Party is doing,” he told reporters yesterday. Quite the contradiction, whomever shall we believe? Shorten wants his Polley to parrot the official lines and if she won’t do it, the gentleman steps in to help. It’s an odd one, we concede, given Labor is committed to a conscience vote. It remains unclear how long the ALP thought it could keep the worst kept secret that some of its parliamentary members will still be voting against same-sex marriage. Just like old times.

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