Strewth: not the usual fare

Parliament began one of its periodic ascents into nobility yesterday.

As Prime Minister Scott Morrison uttered the words “I move that the house apologise to the victims and survivors of institutional child sexual abuse”, Parliament began one of its periodic ascents into nobility yesterday. The PM spoke powerfully and movingly, as did Bill Shorten. And Julia Gillard, who instigated the royal commission, was later mobbed. In the galleries, survivors wiped eyes or held each other. Yes, there were protesters demanding more than words, which was more than fair enough. Then surprisingly there were souvenirs handed out outside the house, including “National Apology” keyrings. But it was one of those rare days.

Crunching numbers

We’d never pictured Penny Wong providing the same function as Sesame Street’s mathematical educator Count von Count, but she was at it in Senate Estimates yesterday after Mathias Cormann offered this thought: “The number of Labor-held seats in the House of Representatives has of course not changed, so fundamentally we as the government in the House of Representatives require the same number of votes as we did before this weekend.” The following exchange ensued.

Wong: “If you lose Wentworth, how many seats do you hold, Senator Cormann?”

Cormann: “Well, 75.”

Wong: “And if you continue to supply the Speaker, how many deliberative votes do you have in the absence of a casting vote?”

Cormann: “Well, 74.”

Wong: “Correct. Which is less than a majority.”

Reading list

Having graced the house yesterday, Gillard will be back tomorrow for the unveiling of her official portrait. Slotting in between is Kevin Rudd, who will be in the building for the launch of the second volume of his memoir. Sample line: “In the political treachery stakes, Jason Clare doesn’t just have a first-class honours degree; he has a PhD.” Purely honorary doctorate, we have since been assured. 3AW host Neil Mitchell was keen to gauge Anthony Albanese’s thoughts on this latest slice of Kevin. Albo was equally keen to be left ungauged.

Mitchell: “Why wouldn’t you pick up the phone and say: ‘Kevin, hose it down a bit’?”

Albo: “Well, I have not read the book.”

Mitchell: “But you’ve read the stories, the reports of the book, haven’t you?”

Albo: “I don’t have the book.”

Mitchell: “Have you read the reports of the book?”

Albo: “I have not read today’s newspapers.”

Mitchell: “Yesterday’s newspapers? Come on.”

Albo: “I read something on the Saturday. I’ve been very busy.”

He was much keener to talk about the more recent turmoil as described in David Speers’s On Mutiny, which he launched yesterday. Possibly because it contains treasures such as this: “The Dutton camp, meanwhile, ran their operation from the Monkey-Pod room, which was close to Dutton’s office but actually shared a wall with Pyne’s office — and the walls weren’t exactly soundproof.” (Labor senator Kimberley Kitching also read from Speers’s book in Senate Estimates. This was for the benefit for Cormann, but he suggested she “save it for your slam poetry night”.)

Which member?

Following our revisit of the Gough Whitlam gag over “Country member” Winton Turnbull, Fairfax writer Jack Waterford has been in touch: “The Country member joke was very aged before Whitlam was even in parliament. I would be interested to see any evidence that Whitlam did say that about Turnbull. But I am very sure that Eddy Ward said it, and in the 1940s, I think. And Doug Anthony has, I think, told the joke of himself (in the right sort of company).” Can anyone provide illumination?

Flocking to Seagal

Now that we’ve all been inspired by the work of parliamentary envoys Barnaby Joyce and Tony Abbott, brace yourself for the arrival on our fair shores of another — former action movie star and late onset Russian citizen Steven Seagal. Seagal’s Russian passport was handed to him in 2016 by President Vladimir Putin, who has appointed him Russia’s special envoy to the US. The “Evening With Steven Seagal” series promises a Q&A session with every episode.

Unwavering focus

Hats off to former deputy PM Tim Fischer. He’s just finished another gruelling round of medical treatment, only to make sure that his first action afterwards was to maintain his push for a bill for the posthumous promotion of General John Monash.

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