Strewth: Niki Savva’s book sets of doodle prude

A ministerial staffer sent an exasperated text to Strewth on the eve of the 46th parliament.

Doodle prude

A ministerial staffer sent this exasperated text to Strewth on the eve of the 46th parliament: “F..k you James McGrath. We’re gonna have all sorts of fruitcakes saying ‘doodle’ all week!” Queensland senator McGrath is credited in Niki Savva’s latest political tome, Plots and Prayers, as blaming “Barnaby’s doodle” for the crash of the Turnbull government in February last year. And Savva, it seems, took a shine to the delicate description of Barnaby Joyce’s marital strife. “Peter Dutton raised the doodle problem with Joyce during a leadership meeting at peak crisis,” Savva writes later. “Joyce thought that if they all stuck together, they could ride it out.” Pun intended?

Spill marks

With the press gallery ripping the scabs from allegedly healed wounds from last August’s spill, Strewth wandered through the swearing-in of Governor-General David Hurley to see how friendships within the Coalition are faring. Morrison men Josh Frydenberg and Ben Morton were spotted laughing with Bridget McKenzie, as Marise Payne checked her watch. To their left, Michaelia Cash stood alone. A two-person buffer distanced her from Anne Ruston, who told Savva at the end of spill week she walked into Cash’s office and said, “Tell her I am disappointed in her and with what she has done to us”, before bursting into tears. Nola Marino, who may have tipped off Scott Morrison’s camp about Malcolm Turnbull’s secret spill plan, was one over. Nearby, Simon Birmingham was in front of Christian Porter — responsible for the most f-bombs in Savva’s book — who stood with spill-petition signatory Greg Hunt. A smiling Dave Sharma was focused on balancing a cup of tea on a white china saucer. Also riding solo were Dutton monkey-podder Andrew Hastie, Tony Pasin and Darren Chester. Trent Zimmerman and Julian Leeser stood alongside newbie senator Andrew Bragg. Boothby MP Nicolle Flint cast a lone figure in black on the side of the room, metres away from Craig Kelly.

Others in the crowd included Dutton backer Alan Tudge with Stuart Robert, who prayed with Morrison before the final leadership vote. “We prayed that righteousness would exalt the nation,” Robert said, which for those playing along comes from Proverbs 14:34: “Righteousness exalts a nation, but sin is a reproach to any people.” Next to them were Ken Wyatt and Bert van Manen. One of Turnbull’s last lieutenants, Arthur Sinodinos, shunned his colleagues for a spot alongside Labor senator Don Farrell. Fellow Turnbullite Richard Colbeck, who said telling T ony Abbott about his poor performance was like farting in a lift, and Matt Canavan looked on from the back with Sussan Ley and Karen Andrews. A waiter caused a literal spill but no MPs were in the splash zone. The closest pollie was One Nation senator Malcolm Roberts, who was too flummoxed by the hauntingly realistic bird calls by the youth choir to be concerned.

Albo rabbits on

In his Hurley welcome speech, Anthony Albanese stuck with the only topic it seems the focus groups have approved him to talk about — the Rabbitohs. “On a personal note, can I say to your excellency that you have shown fine judgment in your passionate support of the South Sydney Rugby League Football Club. As you know, I believe that support for the cardinal and myrtle should be a precondition for holding the highest offices in this land.”

Fixer is in

Watching proceedings from the cheap seats on level two was Chris Ketter, the unlucky loser of a Senate seat in May. He’s now working for Labor deputy leader Richard Marles in probably the toughest job in federal politics right now — the anointed “Queensland fixer”.

In other staffing news, Strewth hears Eric Abetz’s former chief of staff Josh Manuatu has been drafted into Energy Minister Angus Taylor’s office. With Abbott gone, gallery whispers suggest Taylor’s making a play to fill the vacuum, putting him in direct competition with NSW powerbroker Alex Hawke. Manuatu, a former federal Young Liberal president and spinner for ex Hume MP Alby Schultz, has been brought in to help the minister. Rumour has it that after a mass exodus from Labor ranks since the election defeat, no one was willing to take the media adviser gig in Bill Shorten’s office, so it’s been outsourced. Liam Houlihan, former editor of the News Corp-owned Geelong Advertiser, has accepted the call. But he might want to consider deleting his Twitter account, which includes these doozies about his new boss from 2012: “Bill Shorten finds it ‘hard enough to make ends meet’ on his salary of $300,000. That’s a lot of hot pies” and “@PiperStFoodCo Have you got some tasty pies you can send Workplace Relations Minister Bill Shorten?”