Strewth: Merry Christensen

Nobody’s quite embraced the festive season like Nationals MP George Christensen.

George Christensen, right, and bearded friend get into the spirit.

The pollies are all preparing for their Christmas break but nobody has embraced the festive season quite like Nationals MP George Christensen. Yesterday the rogue pollie put out a Facebook video that just happened to star Santa Claus, wishing his constituents a merry Christmas. In it, Santa shakes Christensen’s hand in complete silence for a very long time as CGI snow falls around them. The ultra-conservative MP, who told News Corp’s Andrew Bolt he was pulling out of the government, but then didn’t follow through, said he and Santa had a good hard chat. “Meeting Santa was an honour, but he told me I’m on his naughty list. I suspect after the past week it’s not the only one I’m on.”

Christensen wants just one thing this Christmas, and that’s to watch the Doctor Who Christmas special. “I’m reversing the polarity of my neutron flow every day to calm my excitement about the prospect of the 13th Doctor meeting the 1st Doctor … And then he’s becoming a woman, which will be interesting to see to say the least.” A female Doctor indeed. It’s practically Safe Schools in Space.

Keneally chickens out

This weekend will be dominated by one colossal story that will capture the attention of millions of Australians. But enough about the new Star Wars film. This Saturday is also the Bennelong by-election. Labor’s Kristina Keneally was joined by a man in a chicken suit at an Epping pre-poll centre yesterday. The poultry mascot, who berated her Liberal opponent John Alexander, was meant to represent the ex-Bennelong MP “chickening out” of a Medicare debate with the ex-Labor premier. Considering Keneally’s great NSW right ally Sam Dastyari gets deeper in doo-doo every day with his China links scandal, thank goodness it was a chicken instead of a duck.

Arnie Down Under

Sydney spin doctor Max Markson has had a lucrative couple of weeks managing far-right provocateur Milo Yiannopoulos’s Aussie tour, and he has an even bigger star up his sleeve. Markson is bringing out the Terminator himself, Arnold Schwarzenegger, in May as part of the action star and ex-Republican governor’s campaign to get kids fit. Arnie has had a tough couple of years after the Kennedys exiled him for cheating on wife (and JFK’s niece) Maria Shriver and his last Terminator film was a stinker. But if this nation can embrace Milo, a man who defended pedophilia, I am sure we’ll lap Schwarzenegger right up. It is a change of pace for Markson, though, who — along with Donald Trump cheerleader Yiannopoulos — has been repping Oz’s biggest Trump fans, Spectator Australia editor Rowan Dean and ex-Labor leader Mark Latham. Arnie and Trump hate each other: the former refused to endorse The Donald for the White House. But Trump got the last laugh as Arnie replaced him on The Apprentice and bombed.

Sun rises for Scott

The Queensland election is finally finished but it’s not exactly how LNP frontbencher Scott Emerson imagined things would turn out. The ex-shadow treasurer ended up as the second Coalition MP in the country to lose to a Greens candidate. Michael Berkman was announced the winner in the state seat of Maiwar last week after a tight contest for preferences with Labor. On Sunday night, Emerson tweeted out a gorgeous beach pic with his dog and wrote: “Post-politics life’s a beach — thank you to everyone who has wished (his wife) Robbie & me the best.” The sun always rises the next day, it seems.

Magpies suck

The Guardian Australia website has named the magpie its bird of the year, proving once again it is a dangerous far-left outfit determined to destroy our nation. The winner comes as a shock because magpies are demonic hell beasts and all deserve to die. Strewth often was attacked by malicious magpies while walking to high school in the Perth countryside (well, more outer suburbia, but there were some horses next to the school so let’s roll with it).

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