Strewth: into extra time

Christian Porter inadvertently gatecrashed someone else’s press conference in Canberra yesterday.

“I started this address in 1987 …” Christian Porter said yesterday towards the end of his inaugural address to the National Press Club, though to be honest it didn’t feel anywhere near as long as that. “Here’s a press club pass, come back and join us at any time,” NPC president (and ABC political editor) Chris Uhlmann said, before handing the minister a copy of a collection of NPC speeches put together by his regular co-author, Steve Lewis. SaidUhlmann, “A very riveting book, Stand and Deliver, which is as exciting as the baseline evaluation reports that you read.” Sledge and gifts delivered, Porter began to make his way for the exit and the liberty of Canberra beyond when he happened upon some of the journalists setting up for a press conference by the NPC bar. “Is this the done thing, is it?” Porter inquired. Truth be told, the hacks were waiting for Australian Council of Social Service chief executive Cassandra Goldie, but one of the enterprising journos quickly piped up, “Yes, yes it is.” So Porter ended up obliging with a quick presser.

Roll-playing

“We are moving on,” declared Western Australia’s unrolled Premier Colin Barnett yesterday, reminding the nation once more that one of the gifts the west has bestowed on the nation is a particularly sunny brand of optimism. As he explained: “We have to now show to the community that we are united — and we are.” It’s a song his colleagues in the federal sphere know and respond to only too readily. Malcolm Turnbull, who in his time has both rolled and been rolled, chimed in from New York: “As you know unity is everything in politics.” Tony Abbott, who has experienced both types of rolling in the arguably more painful order, tweeted, “Good to see sense and sanity prevail in the West Australian Liberal Party today.”

A particular chemistry

Few things are quite as multifaceted in the politico-media industrial complex than the relationship between Scott Morrison and Sydney radio 2GB broadcaster Ray Hadley. Week in, week out, listeners experience an ever growing slice of the human condition: warmth and chumminess, impatience and temper, anger and forgiveness. And, after the tempests, let’s not forget the magic of Ray and ScoMo’s make-up chats. Then of course there’s the other magic that is the Treasurer’s little sprinklings of sarcasm to get himself through. Such as yesterday when discussing the government’s George Christensen-pleasing retreat on superannuation.

Hadley: “What I can’t be thrilled about is Alan Jones petitioned the Prime Minister. I petitioned you. We wanted you to go to a certain length. You said no, we can’t do it because it will cost too much money. You went even further. I mean you are a really good bloke now.”

Morrison: “There you go.”

Hadley: “Yes, but it took you a really long time to be a really good bloke.”

Morrison: “You work the problem, you get an answer. You know that is how I work and we have got other issues we are working through now and we will work them through too.”

Hadley: “… You were an immovable object on this. You wouldn’t move. Who sat you down and said, ‘Scott, Alan and Ray are right. You have got to make some changes.’ Who sat you down?”

(At which point you can feel the mood shift ever so slightly.)

Morrison: “Well, Ray, you will be very disappointed to know that neither you nor Alan came up in the conversation.”

Hadley: “I just put us in there.”

Morrison: “There you go. Well, there is a surprise.”

No ‘f’, no buts

A highlight of the annual Spectator Australia luncheon the other day was an hour-long speech by Neil Brown, not least because it was spiced with tales of the McMahon government. Apparently one time Newsweek magazine sent a reporter down to Australia and, without too much exertion, secured an exclusive interview with PM Billy McMahon. In the lead-up to the interview, the PM’s advisers scurried around Parliament House preparing alphabetised briefings on every topic under the sun so that were he asked about, say, health, he could thumb through the folders, find it under “H”, and give an answer. Anyway all went very well until the last question, when the journo finally asked, “Where do you see Australia’s future?”, and McMahon tried under “F”, but not having this topic covered off, was unable to answer — leading to the Newsweek headline, “Australia has no future.” For a moment you stop and think “Apocryphal, surely”, until you remember which PM was being discussed.

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