Strewth: He really likes us

US Vice-President Joe Biden is keen to make sure we understand that he’s not pulling our legs.

Not laughing at you, laughing near you. Picture: Ray Strange

As US Vice-President Joe Biden tours our wide land, he’s keen to make sure we understand he’s not pulling our legs. “It’s a delight to be here and it’s a real pleasure to be in Australia and I mean that seriously,” he intoned in the presence of Malcolm Turnbull. Furthermore: “I really mean it when I say shared values.” Also: “As my son said in Iraq, ‘You know when there’s an Aussie with you, they always have your back.’ And I mean that sincerely.” Even as he dropped his own version of “most exciting times”, he took care to insert his special anti-disclaimer: “I’ve never been more optimistic about our prospects, I really mean this.” But that wasn’t all he brought to the table. Biden also had metaphors of a kind Australia was barely prepared for (“it is like the genes are the full roster of a basketball team”), and an olfactory factor we were shamefully unaware of: “The warmth and the hospitality of the Australian people these past few days have been overwhelming. My whole staff, some have been here before, feel it. You can smell it. You can taste it.” As Biden noted to Barack Obama one time he forgot the microphone was still on: “This is a big f..king deal.”

Good manners

In its way, Biden’s flood of gratitude was every bit as big as David Feeney’s to the voters of Batman for re-electing him, a message of thanks conveyed on a red billboard so large and visually striking it should have been put on the roof of his investment property to ensure he never forgot it again. But we digress.

Relive the good times

Following the swearing in of ministers at Government House, a moment of accidental jollity from the twilight of Tony Abbott’s prime ministership was relived as Darren Chester and Christopher “Delighted and humbled” Pyne pointed out for Peter Dutton’s benefit the dangerous presence overhead of a boom microphone. This triggered an explosion of happiness (pictured), especially with Pyne, whose face looked briefly and pleasingly like one of those swivelling funfair clown heads during a seismic event. When Pyne laughs, it is a full-body commitment; a mirthquake, if you will. Scott Morrison (who coolly pointed out the microphone in the original incident as Dutton mused about water lapping at doors) merrily turned it into a demarcation dispute. “That’s my job,” he cried. Dutton’s smile was marginally bigger than the first time.

Stopping two nations

The US election and Melbourne Cup fall on neighbouring Tuesdays in November. An omen? In 1937 the Cup was won by The Trump. Only 12 years earlier it was won by Windbag. And in light of Melania Trump’s speech at the Republican National Convention featuring chunks of words that previously appeared in the same order in a Michelle Obama speech, we’ll mention in passing that the 1965 champion was Light Fingers.

Exit stage left?

Meanwhile, in the potential departure lounge …

Journo: “Does Kim Carr still have your support?”

Tanya Plibersek: “As I say, I am not talking about the internal workings of the Labor Party, not today, not any day.”

None of that here

And straight-faced triumph of the day, courtesy of Trade Minister Steven Ciobo on Sky News: “We’re blind to factions and all these kinds of things.”

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