Strewth: Abbott becomes a Colsi man

Clive Palmer’s website woes and the former PM models a new collared singlet that is “all things to all people”.

Tony Abbott and his mate from the road — nothing if not versatile.

Clive Palmer’s Queensland Nickel may be in the hands of liquidators, but its website is still live. So when the great man took to Twitter yesterday to claim he had been much maligned, Strewth decided to take a look. Alas. The site is full of boasts that would be side-splitting if they weren’t so sad. There’s the “QN in the Community” section, which states “The Palmer Nickel and Cobalt Refinery is a strong contributor to the community.” The “Environment” sector proclaims that the refinery strives “to ensure all our activities are conducted in an environmentally sensitive and responsible manner”. There is still a section headed “Become a QN Supplier” and, saddest of all, a long list of employee benefits under the “People and Employment”.

Tony’s tale of surf

The tale behind that surfing shot of Tony Abbott dropping in on a wave finally has emerged. “I don’t know whether it’s the salt water, or some genetic defect or whatever, but I just can’t see out of my left eye,” the former prime minister told NSW regional radio station Roccy FM in an interview during last week’s Pollie Pedal. “I was just riding the wave, minding my own business, and eventually there was this extremely attractive and very, very talented surfer on my left and that was caught for posterity by someone who happened to be taking a few snaps,” he confessed to interviewer Wes Heather. And just as Abbott’s surfing companion Ivy Thomas declared “It was epic”, Heather was pretty chuffed with their encounter and ended up providing karaoke entertainment for the Pollie Pedal team — as well persuading his new mate to model an innovative new collared singlet, the Colsi, with him. It boasts a versatility that would make any pollie proud. “Backyard cricket to five star cuisine” its website boasts. “Check. The Colsi man is all things to all people.”

Jacqui jumps aboard

Jacqui Lambie has jumped aboard the Road Safety Remuneration Tribunal bandwagon, addressing a rally of owner-drivers in Burnie yesterday. Strewth, recalling the startling radio interview when the Tasmanian senator revealed her wistful desire for a man with a “package”, will resist any temptation to make reference to truckies and their big rigs.

Continuing fiver fail

Debate on that new note continues unabated, including this cri de coeur from Twitter yesterday: “Why in God’s name has the RBA put corn cobs on five dollar bill?”

Barnaby’s a rum one

Malcolm Turnbull is in China today and tomorrow, so that means Barnaby Joyce is in charge. Which makes the interview he gave to the satirical website The Betoota Advocate on the road in New England ahead of the forthcoming election campaign comforting. Quizzed about how he has moved on from his rambunctious rum-fuelled younger days, Joyce reflected: “I’ve given up drinking a lot of it, put it that way.” He continued: “I’ll have a quiet rum rather than sit down with a square bear with a mate and see if we remember by the second one.” Translated for non-Queenslanders and urban readers, the bear is a reference to the Bundaberg Rum trademark and the square to the shape of the bottle the stuff comes in.

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