Strewth: All clubbed out

Things take a turn at Clive Palmer’s lost dog’s home for former world leaders and the Spice Girls get pulled into the Brexit debate.

All clubbed out

Just last week creditors voted to put Clive Palmer’s Townsville nickel refinery into liquidation.

And things are different at his lost dog’s home for former world leaders looking for a little glory, the Club de Madrid, too.

Since Strewth last stopped by the club’s website a mere fortnight ago, the home page no longer proudly and prominently proclaims its “major sponsors” are Mineralogy and Queensland Nickel. The “Professor Palmer” who became “Join Secretary General” of the World Leadership Alliance Club de Madrid in 2012 appears to no longer hold this exotic title. Fortunately the Great Man is not entirely forgotten.

Hunt around the website long enough and you’ll find reference to the club’s 2013 conference hosted by “Australian MP … Clive Palmer and co-sponsored by Queensland Nickel, Mineralogy and the Nizami Ganjavi International Centre, from Azerbaijan.” Ah, Azerbaijan. The CIA World Factbook rather curtly notes of its last poll: “Organisation for Security and Co-operation in Europe observers concluded that the election did not meet international standards.” Failures of governance all round.

Long-suffering staff

They also serve who only stand and wait, as the poet Milton put it all those years ago. The doings of our politicians are Strewth’s bread and butter. But what about their long-suffering staff and all the thankless tasks they do behind the scenes to make the magic happen. Please spare a moment’s thought for veteran Nationals media man David Allender. Visiting the Port Macquarie Koala Hospital on the campaign trail with boss Luke Hartsuyker, he was introduced to a one-eyed patient. Allender was advised to move in close to the creature and slowly bring his head around in to its point of view. He dutifully followed instructions — only to be bitten on the nose by the ungrateful beast. Former tourism minister John Brown was a prophet without honour in his own land when he warned about the marsupial menace.

Beckham on Brexit

It was a brief, short, moment in time. Wannabe had already raced to the top of the charts but the Spice Girls had not yet become a micromanaged global pop cash machine when The Spectator dispatched one of its young fogeys to interview them late in 1996. Perhaps that’s why Geri Halliwell, then better known as Ginger Spice, was persuaded to opine “We Spice Girls are true Thatcherites. Thatcher was the first Spice Girl, the pioneer of our ideology; Girl Power”. In the same interview, Victoria, Posh Spice, now half of that international marketing juggernaut brand Beckham, held forth on the Maastricht Treaty and the single European currency. “The whole European Federal plan is ridiculous,” she said. “We are patriotic. The single currency is an outrage. We want the Queen’s head — or the king’s head if we have a king — on our own coins.” That was only the warm-up. “The euro- bureaucrats are destroying every bit of national identity and individuality,” she continued. “We must keep our national individuality.” With the Brexit referendum less than two months away, the Leave EU campaign has released an ad that features Posh’s pronouncement, despite its age. The Spectator has sought an update on their views. The imperious Beckham failed to respond; the humbler Halliwell’s people simply said such a request would not be possible.

Settling the score

One result even the keenest devotee of the smack of leather on willow might not have seen. On Saturday in Rome, the British Royal Household Cricket Club faced a Vatican XI in a Twenty20 match. The Pope’s team triumphed by seven runs. Readers can feel free to decide themselves if the outcome settles any theological issues dating back to Henry VIII.

Any wedding cake?

Some happy weekend wedding news. Celebrity chef Pete Evans, whose paleo cookbook for kids Bubba Yum Yum, the Dietitians Association of Australia warned, “could seriously harm babies”, has tied the knot with Kiwi model and fellow food faddist Nicola Robinson. She goes by the Instagram handle of @nutritionmermaid and her account profile reads: “Hi Sacred Life! by a Moon gazing farm girl from Aotearoa, gratefully wearing an Earth suit, loving, learning, growing & openly courting the muse.” The pair appear to richly deserve one another.

In memory of English

The Anzacs and the age of jargon have collided, with ugly consequences. Heard yesterday: a war memorial described as “a commemoration facility”.

[e-mail]