Star quality

Parliament’s night of nights, the Midwinter Ball, is just nine sleeps away and the eBay charity auction has begun.

Parliament’s night of nights — if you don’t include the budget — the Midwinter Ball is just nine sleeps away and the eBay charity auction has begun. Up for grabs are a chance for four people to dine with Malcolm Turnbull at his Canberra abode; an outing for eight for a Raiders game with Glenn Lazarus; a celebration of the sisterhood with Tanya Plibersek and Penny Wong; dinner with Bill Shorten; a meal with the Today show’s Friday favourites Christopher Pyne and Anthony Albanese; and, in an interesting piece of political position, a trip to the AFL with the Greens leadership team of Richard Di Natale, Scott Ludlum and Larissa Waters. Thumping them all though is Julie Bishop. The Foreign Minister has yet again proved her panache with her prize. Dig deep enough and you and another could be heading off to New York in Qantas business class for dinner with Bishop, Hugh Jackman and Deborah Lee Furness. Proceeds with be going to the Luke Batty Foundation and Rare Cancers Australia.

Nothing to see here

Political panache of a different kind was on display yesterday from Josh Frydenberg. Quizzed on recent cabinet leaks — including an expenditure review committee decision that was reported two hours before the meeting considering the matter was due to begin — the Assistant Treasurer played the straightest of bats. “I’m not going to shed any light for you today on the deliberations of the ERC,” he responded with composure that would do Jeeves proud. “They’re confidential.”

Process of elimination

Not so impressive on the leaks were the Fairfax Sundays. They attempted to take a dead horse round a few laps of the track by running a graphic of mugshots of ministers with a red line across the faces of those who have denied being responsible. Alas, it only included six of the 18 members present. And by crossing out the faces of Malcolm Turnbull, Julie Bishop, Barnaby Joyce and Christopher Pyne it appeared to be insinuating something about the remaining two, Kevin Andrews and George Brandis. Worse, it very much took the pollies at face value and ignored the fact that a cabinet member prepared to leak might also — as Thatcher minister Alan Clark once ever so delicately put it — be prepared to be economical with the actualite. As Phil Coorey, from Fairfax sister newspaper The Australian Financial Review, said on the ABC’s Insiders yesterday: “It’s the most pointless exercise in the world and from a journalist’s point of view, self-defeating.”

Reptile rehabilitated

In world news you may have missed, Godzilla has been granted official Tokyo residency papers, Time magazine reports. The movie monster was recognised as a citizen of the Shinjuku district that — faithful to the original — saw a man in a latex suit receive the award from Mototsugu Katagiri, head of the local Shopping Area Promotion Association. The creature’s rampages across the city have now been forgiven and instead it is being praised for its contribution to local trade — a full sized Godzilla head crowning the Toho Cinemas Kabuki-cho/Hotel Gracery Shinjuku entertainment complex having become a major local tourism drawcard.

Karma’s gonna get you

Buddhist on Buddhist biff is all but unheard of, but that’s what’s happening as the Dalai Lama tours the country. A string of vituperative media releases have been pouring forth from members of the Shugden practice accusing his holiness of all sorts of sectarian sins. Rallies are being held outside his meetings, with yet another planned for today. Strangely, Strewth is now obsessed with visions of figures in saffron robes sounding off volubly in those uniquely grating Northern Ireland tones.

In case you didn’t hear

A win’s a win, of course, but there’s no need to get carried away. Nevertheless, Greens senator Sarah Hanson-Young was so proud of victory in her defamation case against lads’ mag Zoo she put out not one but two media releases trumpeting the news yesterday.

All just a bit of pun

It’s an inevitable part of the PR game. Agencies feel the need to justify their existence and suggest to clients something cute and jokey. And so Strewth is examining a list of the best business-name puns, courtesy of the hitherto unknown consultants Nectar Business. Hollywood is a key influence. There’s a florist called Back to the Fuschia and another called Florist Gump. There’s a Welsh fish and chip shop named A Fish Called Rhondda and another that trades as The Codfather. The best of them all has drawn on older traditions, from nursery songs: a hairdresser’s named Barber Blacksheep.

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