Ricky Gervais’s Golden lines take aim at stars

‘Let’s have a laugh at your expense, shall we?’ So said host Ricky Gervais during his opening monologue at the Golden Globes.

Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills, California. Picture: AP

“Let’s have a laugh at your expense, shall we?” So said host Ricky Gervais during his opening monologue at the Golden Globes on Monday. And then he absolutely gave it to them. Individuals in the firing line included Felicity Huffman, who paid a bribe to get her daughter into a better university, ahead of a smarter, but poorer kid: “I came here in a limo, and the licence plate was made by Felicity Huffman.” There was the obligatory joke about Leonardo DiCaprio, who took it with humour: “The premiere (of his film The Irishman) was so long, by the end, his date was too old for him.” Then came a gag about “even Prince Andrew” being appalled by the youthfulness of Leo’s lovers. He skewered the industry for its hypocrisy (how many attendees have multiple homes and private jets?) before saying “nobody goes to the movies anymore” because it’s all “awful, lazy sequels and remakes”.

Taking aim at dame

The best joke was beeped. Dame Judi Dench is an old mate of Ricky’s. She’s one of the naughtiest women in Hollywood. He joked about how she got a furball playing in Cats — because downstairs “she’s old-school”.

Catty Ricky

Speaking of that film, Gervais also recalled a review that said: “It’s the worst thing that’s happened to cats, since dogs.”

Stars’ hard lesson

Enough Globes! No? OK, one more: “You’re in no position to lecture the public about anything,” Gervais said of the preening stars in the audience. “You know nothing about the real world. Most of you spent less time in school than Greta Thunberg.”

Nothing off limits

OK, another one. On Bird Box, starring Sandra Bullock, Gervais said: “It’s a movie where people survive by acting like they don’t see a thing, so like working for Harvey Weinstein.”

Words worth

An impressive list of Australian writers are taking part in #AuthorsForFireys, an online auction to raise money for the bushfire appeal. You can bid on cookbooks signed by Julie Goodwin, or have a beer with David Hunt. The Australian’s Trent Dalton is offering a signed copy of the French edition of Boy Swallows Universe (Le Garcon et L’Univer, since you asked). He’ll come as a guest to the winner’s book club, with a bottle of French champagne. What is the French for blockbuster? It’s blockbuster.

Shane’s worn cap

Cricket legend Shane Warne has offered up the baggy green cap worn throughout his Test career for an auction to boost bushfire relief. Bid via the website Pickles.com.au. By 5.30pm (AEDT) the top bid was $276,500.

General information

During the fires you may have received calls from concerned friends abroad. Take Governor-General David Hurley, who has to keep the Queen up to date. Hurley, who was in East Gippsland for the relief effort on Monday, said: “I’ve already written to her once, last year, and I’ll go back in a similar vein, assuring her again how strong the Australian character is.”

House call

Doing Her Majesty proud is Tony Abbott, who has several times been spotted on the frontline of the fire crisis. The former prime minister was captured on camera just moments before he strapped on the breathing apparatus and oxygen tank and dashed into a burning house.

Firey moment

Returning serviceman in the US often get a nod from the flight deck, and a round of applause from fellow passengers, and that tradition has now spread to Australia’s fireys. ABC reporter Jane Norman says she was on a flight from Perth to Melbourne “and the whole plane just broke out in applause for a crew of volunteer firefighters”. Nine presenter Leila McKinnon says there was “a big round of applause on my flight back to Sydney for the RFS volunteers” heading home from the Northern Rivers, “every one of them a champion”.

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