Richard Colbeck’s aged-care cluster
In a serious case of hindsight being (ironically) 2020, Richard Colbeck’s chief of staff was profiled by public service news outlet The Mandarin in May.
In a serious case of hindsight being (ironically) 2020, Aged Care Minister Richard Colbeck’s chief of staff was profiled by public service news outlet The Mandarin in May. “Chris Gatenby: pandemic policy adviser making a difference,” the headline read. Under a list of notable COVID-19 contributions, it says: “One of the major policy achievements of Australia’s response to COVID-19 has been the prevention (thus far) of a potentially catastrophic sector-wide outbreak across the aged-care sector.” Well that’s awkward, given 1186 cases were linked to the aged-care sector on Tuesday. It continued: “Gatenby’s role in advising the minister on Australia’s response to COVID-19 has been crucial to this success. As chief of staff, he and his team have overseen the development of the minister’s response to prepare and assist the aged-care sector, including over $850m of measures to date. Working closely with the senior executive of the department, this included ensuring the high volume of timely information being put out by the government to the sector, and working to secure vital resources such as PPE for aged-care workers.” Fast forward to Tuesday, when a Senate inquiry was told it took five days for federal health officials to become aware that a staff member at St Basil’s was infected. Colbeck admitted: “There’s no point in me trying to pretend that it all did go as well as it should have done, because it didn’t.” All 11 deaths reported in Victoria on Tuesday are linked to aged-care outbreaks but Colbeck refuses to release a “public hit-list” of the 97 nursing home hotspots. Why? The facilities are worried it will damage their reputation.
Warm lettuce
“Anyone born in the 1970s will live to 105 or 110,” according to Paul Keating. The 76-year-old former prime minister’s insult generator was in fine form at a superannuation webinar on Tuesday, savaging “baby-faced Liberals” (senators James Patterson and Andrew Bragg, we presume?) for agitating against lifting the super guarantee to the planned 12 per cent.
Is Bob a boxer?
Unlikely duo Tony Abbott and Bob Carr are facing off in a China debate on Wednesday night at the Centre for Independent Studies think tank. We hear the fit pair will take questions and offer their “strikingly different views on how Australia should handle the increasingly intense US-China competition”. Tickets to the Zoom event, moderated by Tom Switzer, are a measly $11.64.
BYO steel cut oats.
School’s out
Bill and Chloe Shorten’s eldest daughter, Georgette, made her TV debut on Tuesday, talking to Today about her final day of face-to-face learning at her Melbourne private school. Gigi (whose biological father is Roger Parkin) said her “heart dropped” when she found out they had to resume remote learning ahead of her Year 12 exams. “We were lucky enough to have a pretty cheerful last day … The heads of the school made it a pyjama day … There was a water balloon incident … we just tried to pack in all the social interaction.” Gigi also missed her formal; it was meant to be held on Saturday. “Bill said he wanted to put on a little home formal for me but we ended up just sitting on the couch watching movies, which was honestly just as fun,” she said.
Formal bill
Then things took a spicy turn.
Karl Stefanovic: “Your dad rings me on occasion and let’s me know what is going on. He was particularly worried about the formal and the fella you were going to take. Is that an issue or is that all sorted out?”
Gigi: “Well, they said since COVID was so bad at that point we wouldn’t be able to take outside of school people to the formal. My boyfriend of 2.5 years, goes to Xavier (College), so that would have been interesting. I think I’d have ended up going with a girlfriend but it was definitely a possible problem.”
Stefanovic: “Well you know your dad reckons you should drop him like a dead donkey is all I’m saying.”
Gigi: “Oh God, you know … Bill was the one to actually tell everyone me and this boy were going out on live radio before we made it official.”
Shorten-ed dynasty?
Will we see Gigi starting a career in politics anytime soon, perhaps fulfil the Shorten dynasty dream and become a future Labor prime minister? “I will leave that to my little sister. My 10-year-old sister (Clementine) is much more capable. Watch out for her,” Gigi said. The 17-year-old loves musical theatre but is considering studying human rights law at uni.
Gee, that’s a long drive
How did Geelong-based Labor deputy Richard Marles make it into the Canberra Bubble™ to deliver a speech to the National Press Club? “He was driven to the border of NSW and then picked up by someone else at the border of NSW and driven here to Canberra,” Anthony Albanese clarified. That’s 7.5 hours! Strewth spies said Marles masked up until his speech, and didn’t touch the club lunch provided. We’re told the essential worker MP “followed every health protocol and more in order to be here today to hold the Morrison government to account” over the future submarine program, including a permit from the ACT government. Marles started his speech: “Yes, I am a Victorian and yes, I am in Canberra. My home state is experiencing a disaster right now and, believe it or not, I cannot wait to go back. But democratic government is at the heart of our ability to fight the coronavirus.”
Love’s Labor’s lost
On Tuesday morn, Albanese said: “Suffice to say, I always agree with everything that my deputy says.” Two hours later, Marles told the NPC: “There are two great conceits of conservative governments. First, they will always be better in managing the economy. And second, they will always be better on national security.” That’s the Liberals next election attack ad sorted!
Masks in Danistan
Forget the face mask with Victorian Chief Health Officer Brett Sutton’s face. There’s now a “Not Happy Dan” mask on sale ($20 plus postage) for all those unhappy with Daniel Andrews’s handling of the pandemic. It’s an homage to the iconic 2000s yellow pages ad Not happy Jan. And guess who we’ve spotted sporting one? Jodi Grollo, the women dubbed “Karen from Brighton” who went viral after whingeing about walking southeastern Melbourne streets. “Roses are red, violets are blue, I could have handled hotel quarantine better than you,” Grollo wrote on Instagram. That’s some level-four sass.
strewth@theaustralian.com.au
Libs should be-Ware what they say about JWH
Could things get any worse for the Liberals in Hughes? Well, strap in. Diary can reveal that Liberal candidate Jenny Ware once called John Winston Howard ‘out of touch’.
Believe in your selfie, Andrew
Kevin Rudd appears to have met his selfie match in Andrew Charlton.