Paul Keating Labor’s point in long Canberra speech

The Paul Keating Insult Generator was in fine form at the Labor Caucus dinner in Canberra on Monday night.

Anthony Albanese snaps a selfie with Paul Keating in Canberra on Monday night. Picture: Instagram

The Paul Keating Insult Generator was in fine form at the Labor caucus dinner in Canberra on Monday night. The surprise guest speaker labelled Liberal hero Robert Menzies a “vacuous pansy” and reminisced about former foe John Howard, “I wouldn’t consult with him on anything.” Despite Barnaby Joyce and Matt Canavan throwing late-night Nationals leadership grenades a few metres down the road at Parliament House, the Coalition wasn’t on the receiving end of PJK’s ire when he took to the microphone at the National Press Club.

According to Labor pollies in attendance, Keating took aim at the Australian Council of Social Service, which hours earlier had called on the Morrison government to cut generous super tax breaks for the wealthy. Witnesses say PJK told the gathered MPs: “If (ACOSS) come to your door, you must send them away, slam the door shut.” Complete with a dramatic hand gesture. But the focus of PJK’s speech was policy strategy under Anthony Albanese going into the next federal election. The subtext: don’t forget the wealthy. “To paraphrase, he said: Can Labor stop attacking all the rich people because my government helped make them all rich,” a senior Labor statesman told Strewth. “You’re all talking about the bottom but don’t forget the top.” We can only imagine how that went down in the room of Labor comrades. But we don’t have to. From a witness: “The Left were slowly drinking their bad chardonnay. No one spat it out but I think there were some questionable shiraz moments.” But the best feedback we heard is about the, shall we say, lack of brevity by the 76-year-old. Labor MPs weren’t allowed to begin eating until PJK finished his 45-minute monologue well after 8pm. “People were hungry. Everyone was checking PVO’s tweets and what was happening with the Nationals. PJK is magic, but let’s just say the tricks went on too long,” one Labor foodie complained.

Resigned to fate

Speaking of Peter van Onselen, here’s what The Australian’s columnist tweeted at 7.32pm on Monday that got Labor pollies so riled up. “Hats off toCanavan for resigning from cabinet to back Joyce. Whatever your view on who should lead the Nats, a minister under Westminster should resign if not backing the leader. Isn’t that right Morrison, Hunt, Tudge, Keenan, Taylor? Did I name them all Malcolm Turnbull?” The angry ghost himself replied: “Ihre Liste ist nicht vollstandig.” Translation? The list is not exhaustive.

Hats off to Canavan for resigning from cabinet to back Joyce. Whatever your view on who should lead the Nats, a minister under Westminster should resign if not backing the leader. Isn’t that right Morrison, Hunt, Tudge, Keenan, Taylor? Did I name them all @TurnbullMalcolm 🤷‍♂️

— Peter van Onselen (@vanOnselenP) February 3, 2020

Ihre Liste ist nicht vollständig

— Malcolm Turnbull (@TurnbullMalcolm) February 3, 2020

News break

A Strewth reader was startled by this news update, heard on Radio National at 6am on Tuesday: “Adam Bandt is set to become the new leader of the Greens after Richard Di Natale’s shock resignation. The state emergency service has received 300 calls for help (pause) after strong winds hit Sydney overnight …”

In the dark

One Nation senator Malcolm Roberts emailed an invitation to his colleagues on Monday morning to attend “the Australian premiere of Dark Waters” in the Parliament House Theatre on Wednesday, February 26, with refreshments from 7.30pm. Pollies have been told to RSVP ASAP as “seats limited”. We hate to point out the empirical evidence (cover your eyes, Jim Molan!) but it’s hardly the Australian premiere. The Avoca Beach Picture Theatre in Liberal MP Lucy Wicks’s seat of Robertson has a screening scheduled for Thursday, February 20. The conspiracy-theory-loving Roberts’s invitation summarises the film thus: “A corporate defense (sic) attorney, Mark Ruffalo, takes on an environmental lawsuit against a chemical company that exposes a lengthy history of pollution.” We wonder if Roberts knows Ruffalo is a democratic socialist who has endorsed Bernie Sanders for US president?

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