Onwards, upwards

Optimism came in all shapes and sizes

Onwards, upwards

Optimism came in all shapes and sizes yesterday. There was the concise model, as offered by Scott Morrison in regards to Mathias Cormann/Helloworld: “He paid back the money and that’s the end of the matter.” There was Bill Shorten, who cited Malcolm Turnbull as a leader who got torn down in the midst of trying to do something “fair dinkum” about climate change, apparently sure no one would recall that happened to any Labor leaders on his watch. Then there was more fleshed-out optimism, such as Labor’s environment spokesman, M ark Butler, talking on Radio National about everyone’s favourite workers’ collective, the Construction Forestry Maritime Mining and Energy Union.

Fran Kelly: “So the CFMEU, one of Labor’s biggest donors, biggest backers, is threatening to campaign against any Labor candidates who don’t support Adani. Are Labor candidates going to be bullied into supporting this mine?”

Butler: “Well, the CFMEU is obviously able to express their view about the wisdom about opening up a new thermal coal basin, as everyone else is … That’s really what you get in a vibrant democracy and I welcome that.”

Kelly: “So you have no problem with the CFMEU taking that stand?”

Butler: “Well, so long as they express their views respectfully and candidates are free to come to their own conclusions …”

We couldn’t see Kelly’s face, but we imagine it did not as much as flicker the tiniest of muscles, for she is a pro.

They seek her here

Kelly’s interview also contained a footnote: “We did invite the federal Environment Minister, Melissa Price, on to the program in conjunction with this big announcement from the PM but she was unavailable.” In a day and age where so many yield to the urge to be media tarts, Price is a rare, leading light of the less-is-more school, as Radio National Drive host Patricia Karvelas reminded us on Twitter yesterday: “She has declined our interview request.” And the ABC’s Raf Epstein last Thursday: “We put in a request for the Environment Minister, Melissa Price.” And Cathy van Extel on Radio National recently: “We invited … Melissa Price on to the program but we did not receive a response.” And Hamish MacDonald during the international climate talks: “We have repeatedly asked for an interview with Melissa Price while she is there attending the conference. Those requests have so far been declined.” Still, nothing lasts forever and Price appeared on Epstein’s show yesterday afternoon, a tete a tete that included timeless staples from both Price (“I think I’ve answered your question”) and Epstein (“Forgive me, Minister, but that’s not saying anything”). It was reassuring to hear her voice.

Pyne reflects

Defence Minister Christopher Pyne was out doing official stuff yesterday, yet even amid his very sober business were hints of wistfulness: “Thank you very much, it’s a great pleasure to be here with John Davis, the chief executive of Naval Group, and the chairman, Jean-Michel Billig, and it’s time he went home and saw his family, I think.” As Pyne went on, the mood deepened to a sort of robustly elegiac: “It’s on budget and it’s on time. It certainly has its detractors, most of whom don’t know anything about submarine building … There’ll always be detractors when you have big projects. When you dream big dreams there are always people who want to knock them down.” It’s almost like he’s softening us all up for something.

Out from the count

Our love of the humble typo was cemented one afternoon in our childhood when our father, poring over a report about the coal mine he was working at, detonated with laughter. It took him a good minute to regain the power of speech, but rather than wait until he could speak he pointed a trembling finger at a sentence that had gone beautifully awry. It was just a line about how many tonnes per shift the mine was averaging — except that the otherwise meticulous typist had neglected to put the “f” in “shift”. Dad was helpless for some time, as you’d expect of a man who identified so powerfully with this declaration from the Red Baron in Blackadder: “How lucky you English are to find the toilet so amusing. For us, it is a mundane and functional item. For you it is the basis of an entire culture.” But we digress. In the spirit of making the world jollier with a missing letter, we present this closing paragraph from Queensland Police yesterday: “A 49-year-old Annerley man has been charged with one count of bomb hoax and will appear at the Brisbane Magistrates Court today.” Except that the crucial “o” was missing from “count”. This possibly redefines the concept of muffing a line.

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