Oh, snap!

Australia, are you ready to met your newest social media influencer? Bob Katter has signed up to TikTok, in search of his 15 seconds of fame.

Bob Katter on the line.

Australia, are you ready to met your newest social media influencer? Bob Katter has signed up to TikTok, in search of his 15 seconds of fame. “I want to be the Shock-Jock of TikTok,” the maverick Queensland MP told Strewth. Perfect timing, given 2GB host Ben Fordham has been dethroned in the Sydney radio ratings. “TikTok attracts me because it’s imaginative and a new dimension of communication that isn’t going away quickly,” he said. Sage words from a man who has been in state and federal parliament for 47 years. Katter’s opening gambit on the video-sharing app couldn’t be more on croc brand. “When my staff first told me about TikTok, my mind immediately went to the crocodile named Tick-Tock in the original Walt Disney film, Peter Pan,” he said. “Which I watched in the Cloncurry cinema in the 1950s.” The clip of Katter crooning Never Smile At A Crocodile in his trademark Akubra and aviators was watched more than 130,000 times in its first 24 hours. Another – featuring the crossbencher stalking the ministerial wing of Parliament House “to have a bit of a chat with the PM”, backed by John Williams’ Imperial March from Star Wars V: The Empire Strikes Back – has clocked up 200,000 views. (Although his office is adamant the member for Kennedy doesn’t align himself with Darth Vader … or even know who he is.) According to the Katter Klan, there’s a large demographic of the youth who follow his every move online because he’s “an intriguing and engaging person but is often misunderstood”.

My way or Huawei

In light of Katter’s campaign to take back the Port of Darwin from China, we had to ask – is he concerned about the People’s Republic of TikTok stealing his personal data? “The part-Chinese ownership doesn’t worry me. It’s the Chinese regime that is scaring me, but we aren’t anti-Chinese,” he said. “Half the population of North Queensland is from Chinese heritage. (Katter Australia Party’s) Hinchinbrook MP Nick Dametto’s great grandmother was Chinese.” Katter has a long way to go before reaching the cyberspace stardom of Victorian Premier Daniel Andrews. Chairman Dan celebrated his 49th birthday on Tuesday, presumably by getting on the beers and cheering the 820,000 eyes on his “back to work” TikTok. To get an app-vantage, 78-year-old Katter says he’s open to dancing or singing challenges, specifically Slim Dusty, Johnny Cash or Creedence. Katter koncluded: “I have always been described as the Mad Hatter, well the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland always carried a clock (TikTok) around.” Touche.

Glory Neighs

Some breaking Olympic news from Reuters: “Born to ride: Springsteen named to US show jumping team”. That’s right, 29-year-old Jessica Springsteen (daughter of the boss Bruce) and her 12-year-old stallion Don Juan van de Donkhoeve have won a spot on the American Equestrian team and are heading to Tokyo. For the record, Jessica was born in the USHay … but there’s no word yet on whether the pair will be prancing in the dark.

ACTing up

“I just spent 15 days in Canberra, which is a great city but not one I choose to spend 15 days in a row in,” aspirational prime minister Anthony Albanese declared upon arrival in the sunshine state. We suspect the Labor leader may be in the wrong job if he doesn’t want to be in das kapitol. Or perhaps he heard about the young woman who parked in the middle of a leafy Red Hill road for 15 minutes … to conduct a photo shoot with friends.

Hidden dragons

Gladys Berejiklian will reveal on Wednesday if Greater Sydney’s lockdown-induced boredom will come to an end … and whether the 5.3 million people can party like a St George Dragon (that’s under the bed if you’re Jack de Belin) but hopefully without losing their jobs. Much like the highly rated Dan TV – sure to be renewed again soon – where punters placed bets on the daily news and the Vic Premier’s sartorial choices (suit bad, North Face jacket good), TikTok teens have been playing Covid bingo with Berejiklian. Each morning before the 11am big reveal, influencers estimate the number of new cases and the colour of Berejiklian’s coat (navy blue, 22; hellfire red, 66, or green pea, 33). Tuesday’s winner stats were – khaki, 18.

Premier’s COVID-19 update, July 6

Posted by Gladys Berejiklian on Monday, July 5, 2021

For the rest of us

Are Queenslanders celebrating Festivus in July? That’s the only way Strewth can wrap our head around the Feats of Strength performed by a 22-year-old woman who scaled two balconies to escape hotel quarantine. Festivus is Seinfeld’s secular holiday invented by George Costanza’s father as an alternative to the pressures and commercialism of Christmas. And it sure was a Festivus Miracle that the woman survived the jumps from ledge to ledge, before heading down an outside staircase and encountering a locked door. “She has kicked it in, so fairly motivated,” Queensland Police deputy commissioner Steve Gollschewski commented. The woman was discovered at her mother’s unit in Cairns, where we imagine the family was airing some grievances around an aluminium pole. She was slapped with a $2500 fine and promptly sent back to the Pacific Hotel.

Don’t blink

Tasmanian Labor leader David O’Byrne will formally resign at a party meeting on Wednesday in the wake of sexual harassment allegations. After just 23 days in the job, O’Byrne is officially the shortest leader in the history of Labor van demons (by 49 days). However, he falls well short of winning the Mal Meninga Medal for Political Leadership Brevity. Anderson Dawson sat in the Queensland premier’s chair for just six days in 1899, and holds the record for the shortest ministry of any state government in Australia. South Australia’s 21st premier Vaiben Louis Solomon served for seven days in 1899, scoring the dual distinction of being SA’s sole Jewish and shortest-serving premier. Solomon fell five days short of SA’s second premier John Baker, who managed to hold office for 12 days in 1857. Frank Forde was our briefest prime minister, acting as Labor caretaker for eight days in 1945 after the death of John Curtin. Liberal Gordon Chalk chalked up nine days as Queensland premier in 1968. Victoria’s first Labor premier George Elmslie was engaged for 13 days in 1913. Then there’s the Country Party PMs: Earle Page was in power for 19 days in 1939 and John “Black Jack” McEwen for 22 days between December 1967 and January 1968.

July 6, 1945: After John Curtin's death, deputy Frank Forde was sworn in as prime minister. He served for just 8 days. pic.twitter.com/coaI1aCoZT

— Canberra Insider (@CanberraInsider) July 6, 2021

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