No stuffing here
Happy spilliversary! Tuesday marks three years since Malcolm Turnbull’s ‘iron laws of arithmetic’ failed him … and smiling petition propagator Peter Dutton.
Delta, sashay away
“This is a drag race, we will go as hard as we can,” Victoria’s Covid commander Jeroen Weimar.
All tip, no iceberg
Newspoll and Sportsbet aren’t the only places where Anthony Albanese is in front of Morrison. The Opposition Leader is seven spots ahead of the Sharks No. 1 ticket holder in the NRL tipping comp of 50 “experts” on tips.com.au, with 123 correct picks to the PM’s 118. The Bunny boiler is 27th on the table, behind Braith Anasta, Ray Hadley, Greg Alexander, Jim Wilson and Matty Johns. To add insult to injury, we’re also reliably informed that the Prime Minister is losing The Lodge’s Lockdown Pool Comp to his temporary Canberra Bubble™ housemate Josh Frydenberg – two to one.
Pakula punts
Over to the AFL “experts” on tips.com.au, where Victorian Sports Minister Martin Pakula is coming fifth with 133 punts on the mark. Impressive, but not enough to match the hot streak by Bombers fan Dan Andrews last year, when the Premier led the tipping comp for the majority of the state’s second locky d … a feat one of Strewth’s sporting sources put down to the old footy tips paradox — the less attention you give to the games, the better you go. Liberal leader Michael O’Brien is 17 points behind Pakula, five from the bottom of the table. Melbourne Lord Mayor Sally Capp is second to last, just pipping the “Kiss of Death”.
Dogged support
Nationals deputy David Littleproud iscontinuing his quest to make agriculture sexy again, with the arrival of a new migrant visa. And to think, merely 11 months ago, former deputy prime minister Michael McCormack wanted local backpackers to pick fruit and find love in regional Australia. How novel! Littleproud needed a win, after his beloved Canterbury Bulldogs all but ensured their fate as wooden spoon recipients after a weekend loss to the Warriors. As dedicated readers of this column know, one of Strewth’s favourite hobbies is holding politicians to account for their football code of conduct. See: ScoMo. The Bronte-reared Prime Minister rebranded as a rusted-on Cronulla crusader (from his “first love” of rugby union) and has convenient AFL amnesia about his history as a theme song-singing Western Bulldogs supporter. Which brings us back to Littleproud. The member for Maranoa was named a patron of the NSW Canterbury Bulldogs in May and was treated to complimentary VIP tickets, care of the board, to the doggies’ round 10 loss to the Canberra Raiders at Suncorp Stadium. Why? Littleproud was born in Chinchilla, a tiny town in the Westerns Downs whose local rugby league team just happens to be the Bulldogs. Given the Brisbane Broncos weren’t founded until Littleproud was 12 years old, he decided to barrack for Canterbury, despite living 800km away. He’s not the only Queenslander with south of the border allegiances: Labor MP Graham Perrett backs the St George Dragons. On the flip side, Tamworth-born Barnaby Joyce is a maroon from head to toe.
Saddled with duty
Spare a thought for Kate McLoughlin, the Australian Paralympic Team’s chef de mission, who pledged to hand-write a herogram to every athlete … including the horses. Even it means staying up pasture bedtime. “I know they can’t read. It’s been the butt of jokes in the office but people who love their horses, they are part of the team,” McLoughlin said. “They are athletes too.” How the stables have turned! Word must have gotten out among the mane community — a horse and cart were spotted in the Covid testing queue at Mudgee last week.
There was a horse and cart in the Covid-19 testing queue in Mudgee this morning. Photo via my aunt who lives in Mudgee. @MatildaBoseleypic.twitter.com/yRADUUdz42
— Calla Wahlquist (@callapilla) August 18, 2021
Marx my words
The Delta strain is being blamed for stopping the next revolution, with the Socialist Alternative mulling whether to move its Sydney conference online. “This won’t be a super-spreader event. We aren’t the NSW Liberals.” activist Jess Lenehan promised. “We want people to be safe, healthy, and full of energy to take on cops and capitalists.” The “festival of anti-capitalist ideas”, scheduled for September 17-19, is set to include sessions such as: the Marxist case for police abolition, how Labor sold neoliberalism, and the Russian Revolution of 1917. Or, as the conference program puts it, ”when workers took power”. “Yes, we want a repeat of the Russian Revolution,” conference organiser Sarah Garnham confirmed. “The problem I have with the Russian Revolution is that it didn’t happen in Australia as well. Hopefully this conference will make something like that more likely.” Garnham is hopeful the meeting of minds will proceed in person but if that isn’t possible, the Marxists may have to resort to using Zoom — the video conferencing software created by an American company now worth billions. Shudder at the thought!
Wiggle room
Here’s an early contender for tweet of the week from the West’s Ben Anderson: “Last month there were only four Wiggles. Now there are eight. At this rate of exponential growth the majority of the earth’s population will be Wiggles by February 2024. We must act now to flatten the curve.” Matt Canavan’s worst nightmare! Next thing you know, they’ll replace the big red car with a green electric vehicle. Is it too late to get vaccinated against the skivvy strain?
Last month there were only four Wiggles. Now there are eight. At this rate of exponential growth the majority of the earth’s population will be Wiggles by February 2024. We must act now to flatten the curve. pic.twitter.com/MOK4nTofIu
— Ben Anderson (@BenjaminFA) August 23, 2021
strewth@theaustralian.com.au
Libs should be-Ware what they say about JWH
Could things get any worse for the Liberals in Hughes? Well, strap in. Diary can reveal that Liberal candidate Jenny Ware once called John Winston Howard ‘out of touch’.
Believe in your selfie, Andrew
Kevin Rudd appears to have met his selfie match in Andrew Charlton.
Happy spilliversary! Tuesday marks three years since Malcolm Turnbull’s “iron laws of arithmetic” failed him … and smiling petition propagator Peter Dutton. A day that inspired Sans Sherrif designer Gwen Blake to create the only good thing to come out of the Killing Season — a sustainable cloth tote emblazoned with the words: “Ban the single use prime minister.” It’s also 36 months since newly minted Prime Minister Scott Morrison claimed: “I’m from the city, I’m not pretending to know one end of a sheep from another.” Indeed. What better way to reflect on the Liberals last leadership lunge than this brief post-rebellion exchange on FiveAA between David Penberthy and Will Goodings and guest Christopher Pyne. “Do you ever just think, ‘Stuff this for a joke, I have been there for almost three decades and have had enough?’ ” Replied Pyne: “I have never thought ‘Stuff this for a joke’, no.” After Barnaby Joyce’s second coming in June, it appears our federal politicians are yet to develop herd immunity to coups. How long until Clive Palmer overthrows newly elected United Australia Party leader Craig Kelly?