Laming’s pay packet

Andrew Laming has made it clear he won’t stand for the Queensland seat of Bowman at the next election, but the Liberal MP is still holding on to his parliamentary sidehustle.

Stepping down but still standing: Andrew Laming. Picture: Kym Smith

Andrew Laming has, to the relief of some of his female constituents, made it clear he won’t stand for the Queensland seat of Bowman at the next election, but the Liberal MP is still holding on to his parliamentary sidehustle. A quick perusal of his official APH profile shows that Laming is chair of the House of Representatives standing committee on employment, education and training, 24 days after he said he was stepping down from all parliamentary roles “effective immediately”.

Committee chairmanships are one of few ways a humble backbencher can boost his or her take-home pay.

For every day he stays in the chair, Laming clocks up an 11 per cent salary supplement that boosts his $211,250 base salary by $23,237 a year. The plot thickened after a call to the committee secretariat to confirm his status. Strewth was met with an abrupt: “Sorry, I don’t have any information at this time” before being hung up on.

Curiouser and curiouser.

Laming is on medical leave and undergoing “empathy training” after his behaviour, namely the alleged harassment of women online and taking inappropriate photos of a Brisbane mother. Until a replacement chair is selected by Scott Morrison, perhaps the embattled MP can impart some of the wisdom he’s learned from the training course with the committee? It may come in handy when that bizarre Milkshake sexual consent video comes up at a hearing.

Milkshaken not stirred

Speaking of he who must not be named (the Milkshake video), the controversial clip was quietly removed on Tuesday following an uproar over its downright confusing message. Department of Education, Skills and Employment secretary Michele Bruniges told Strewth: “In response to community and stakeholder feedback, two videos have been removed from The Good Society website.” Considering the Respect Matters resources (designed to teach teenagers about consent and respectful relationships) are reported to have cost $3.7m, Strewth recommends running any future content by the closest teenager. Bruniges said the department would continue to “engage with experts to evaluate the materials” to ensure “they are fit for purpose and reflect current experiences and community issues”. Indeed.

Jack on the box

The ABC’s Afternoon Briefing with Patricia Karvelas had an unexpected visitor on Monday. During an interview with Labor MP Kristy McBain, the son of the member for Eden Monaro appeared briefly on screen to give his mum a hug. McBain handled the brief intrusion like a pro, introducing viewers to the cameo appearance. “This is Jack, last day of school holidays everyone,” she said, before going on to unpack the issues around teaching consent to young Aussies. Three cheers for working mums.

Polls head south

Australians living in Antarctica will no longer be asked to head to the pole-ing booths come election day under a new directive from the nation’s electoral mandarins. Much like voting for Australian Idol or Dancing with the Stars, the 38 Australians listed as Antarctic electors will be able to vote for their preferred contestant, sorry, political party via phone.
The AEC’s telephone voting service, which is available for people who are blind or have low vision, has been extended to Australians working down the far south. Previously, physical polling stations were established at Australian Antarctic research stations (or ships in transit) for eligible voters.

An Antarctic returning officer was appointed for each station (usually from staff at the station) to manage the polling and transmit the info on the ballot papers to the AEC. The electoral commission would then transcribe the ballot paper markings on to new papers and forward them to the relevant electoral division.

Complicated, right? The new process will also provide a greater level of secrecy. While electors will still have to read out how their ballot papers will be marked, they won’t have to provide their name and will be identifiable only by a PIN number. Fun fact: at the May 2019 election, 51 electors were registered at Australia’s four permanent research stations in Antarctica and 49 votes were issued.

Eurovision jab contest

Labor MP Josh Burns channelled some European leaders when getting a flu jab in Melbourne on Tuesday. The member for Macnamara made like Greek Prime Minister Kyriakos Mitsotakis when he bared some skin for a shot. The Greek leader became a viral sex symbol after he ripped off his shirt to get his second COVID-19 jab. Burns, who shared a video of himself getting inoculated on Instagram, said getting his rig out (well, his arm) was a small price to pay to protect the community.

“I only found out I needed to drop the shirt over the shoulder when I walked in. Maybe bring a T-shirt unless you want to show off your guns,” Burns told Strewth.

He also delivered a jab of the verbal variety, declaring: “The pharmacist told me I should wait two weeks before getting a COVID vaccine, but given the way Scott Morrison’s rollout is going, I reckon I’ll be getting that shot closer to next year’s flu vaccine.” Burn.

[e-mail]