Labor’s comrade cover-up

Is Anthony Albanese’s office trying to silence this august organ? Press secretaries were told to screen calls ahead of a contentious meeting.

Is Anthony Albanese's office trying to silence The Australian's Greg Brown? Picture: Gaye Gerard/Kym Smith

Is Anthony Albanese’s office trying to silence this august organ? Labor press secretaries were told to screen phone calls from this paper’s political gun, Greg Brown, ahead of a contentious meeting of the Right faction.

Strewth spies on Monday morning’s hook-up — a daily meeting where talking points for shadow ministers are delivered by the Opposition Leader’s media unit — said Team Albo warned advisers to expect a call from Brown.

Staff were cautioned that if Brown’s name came up on their phones, it would be better to let it ring out and force him to leave a message, then they could decide whether to ring him back. They also were told the factional infighting was an issue for their bosses to deal with.

Albanese, a darling of the Left, famously declared himself factionless when he took over from Bill Shorten (who briefly ran a Victorian Right faction dubbed the ShortCons with Stephen Conroy). We can understand why Labor wouldn’t be happy with Brown’s exclusives about the climate wars engulfing the opposition (which led to last weekend’s T-shirt tete-a-tete).

Coal-hugger Joel Fitzgibbon’s policy freelancing was reportedly on the agenda for the Right’s Monday teleconference, but it ended up a bit of a fizzer. Fitz unexpectedly came through unscathed, with his internal critics not game enough to raise his headline-making behaviour.

Strewth understands only Josh Burns spoke up. The member for Macnamara urged his colleagues to keep climate change deliberations on the down low.

“People have got to understand that when Joel opens his trap, he is not speaking on behalf of the Right,” one unnamed MP complained. “Some MPs in the Right could easily be in the Left,” another grumbled, in reference to Kristina Keneally’s “progressives majority”.

You know what they say: when it leaks out that you’re trying to plug the leaks (see Tony Abbott’s“good government” circa 2015), it is usually a sign you’re on a sinking ship.

Time’s up

No 9 on Google’s list of trending coronavirus questions during the past seven days: “What time is the press conference today Daniel Andrews?” Searches are up by 250 per cent.

An anonymous quiet Australian announced on Twitter: “As a community service, I’ve setup @WhatTimeDan to help answer the question ‘what time is dan’s presser?’ Will try and make it as accurate as possible. You’re welcome.”

Tuesday August 4: 🤷‍♂️ but will let you know as soon as I do

— WhatTimeIsDansPresser (@WhatTimeDan) August 3, 2020

According to Google’s data, Victorians’ Dandemic inquiries are “consistently peaking on weekdays at 11am AEST”. That’s when the Victorian Premier’s briefing is typically held. But his appearances have been creeping later and later in the day (3.15pm on Monday) as new restrictions are required.

The consequence? Controlling their own narrative.

COVID-19 numbers are leaked to journalists every day, providing commentators with hours to speculate morbidly until the figures are confirmed. And the Andrews government is having a tough time stopping the drips as state and federal politicians, plus health officers, are all given the information. That’s one of the reasons NSW early riser Gladys Berejiklian fronts up promptly in front of the press at 8am each day.

Bleaker city

A tweet from the satirical minds at The Shovel: “For those of you in Melbourne who need cheering up, just remember that Sam Newman can’t play golf for the next 42 days.”

For those of you in Melbourne who need cheering up, just remember that Sam Newman can’t play golf for the next 42 days

— The Shovel (@TheShovel) August 2, 2020

Spare a thought also for the Karens after Andrews decreed “you will no longer be able to go into a Bunnings store”.

MPs are curfew clear, with politicians being granted “essential worker” status that makes them exempt from level-four rules. It’s probably too soon to wonder how the state of disaster will affect Melbourne’s ranking as the world’s most liveable city, right?

No ifs, ands or putts

“Georgina and I have launched a podcast,” Alexander Downer announced via Twitter on Friday. Quelle horreur! In GeoPod, he and the twice-failed dynasty heir (whose large novelty cheque helped kickstart the sports rorts inquiry) chat weekly about geopolitics under the umbrella of their spin shop, Tenjin Consulting.

Father and daughter are recording virtually, with Georgina locked down in Victoria and Alexander in Adelaide. Aside from Georgina calling him Alexander, their banter was rather amusing.

Georgina Downer reacts with her father Alexander Downer.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, which I must say you’ve always, always been quite happy to do,” Alexander gibed. He went on to call Joe Biden “quite flaky” during spontaneous interviews, saying Biden was known by Australians during his time as vice-president “as pretty vague to talk to”.

“I don’t want to sound ageist … I’m almost young enough to be his son!” the 68-year-old said of the 77-year-old Democrat presidential candidate.

Our favourite revelation? “(Former US secretary of state) Condi Rice learned to play golf,” Downer senior said. “I went and played golf with her at Stamford University … she’s very determined, she was a very determined player. She had only been playing for about three months and already she was heading towards, you know, a 20 handicap.” Tee-rific! The best anecdote in the 27 mins, by par.

Blast off

“Five hours ago we were bobbing around in a spacecraft making prank satellite phone calls to whoever we could get ahold of,” SpaceX astronaut Doug Hurley said after parachuting into the Gulf of Mexico.

Fun fact: On August 3, 1969, US president Richard Nixon sent a letter thanking prime minister John Gorton for his congratulations on the moon landing.

“Dear John, I very much appreciate your message welcoming the safe return of our astronauts. It symbolises perfectly the special bonds of friendship, co-operation and understanding which exists between the Australian and American people. I will most certainly look into the possibility of astronauts Armstrong, Aldrin and Collins visiting Australia.”

A schedule of the 1969 moon landing world tour signed by Buzz Aldrin, Neil Armstrong, Michael Collins and more is up for auction in the Joh Bjelke-Petersen estate sale on August 11. Bidding is up to $2244.

Take out the trash

Liberal MP Nicolle Flin t made global headlines when she donned a garbage bag in protest against a sexist article last week. Now it seems the trashy trend is taking off in suburbia. “Delighted to see my #GarbageBagGlam look is inspiring other Aussies!” Flint shared a snap of a woman wearing a pink bag and holding a glass of red.

Delighted to see my #GarbageBagGlam look is inspiring other Aussies! Loving Anabelita from Queensland’s fabulous colour coordination, sense of style & multi-tasking (not just the 🍷, she’s also a member of the Bin Isolating Group too!). Thanks again everyone for your support 🙏🏻 pic.twitter.com/yyYCAqtR3A

— Nicolle Flint MP (@NicolleFlint) August 3, 2020

“Loving Anabelita from Queensland’s fabulous colour co-ordination, sense of style & multi-tasking (not just the wine, she’s also a member of the Bin Isolating Group too!).”

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