Kids pun with the wind for Tasmanian turbines

Windy Boy, Spider Fan, and Mr Spin Master: They’re three of the new names for the wind turbines in Tasmania after a competition for children.

Labor Christmas cards on sale at Parliament House.

Windy Boy, Spider Fan and Mr Spin Master: They’re three of the new names for the wind turbines that line the shores of Lake Echo in Tasmania, chosen by Aurora Energy in its statewide competition for children. The 48 winners, sent in by kids aged five to 15, will be etched into the turbines. They include: A New Start, Bumper, Dave McBreeze, Envirotwirl, Flower Power, Goldwind, Goldy Wind, Hilla Bill, Kiddy Wind Breeze, Mr Energy, Mr Spinnster, Roundabout, Sir Birdy O’Energy, Sparky, Steve McTurbine, Turby the Turbine, Wind Blaster and Windy Turby. Aurora Energy CEO Rebecca Kardos says the first turbine went online last Friday and the $300m wind farm at Cattle Hill in the Central Highlands will be fully operational by early next year, producing enough clean energy to power more than 63,500 Tasmanian homes and meet the state’s goal of being 100 per cent self-sufficient on renewables by 2022 (with enough renewable energy to guarantee Australia’s Large-scale Renewable Energy Target will be met next year). There’s also new camera technology to detect and slow down (or turn off) turbines to prevent wedge-tailed eagles flying into their path — an Australian first. That’s probably why Strewth’s name suggestions (Bob Brown’s Parrot Purger; the Joe Hockey Utterly Offensive Experience; and Tony Abbott’s Dark Satanic Mills) didn’t get a guernsey. Congrats to all the winners.

Jingo all the way

With politics all wrapped up for the year, we walked through the Parliament House gift shop to see what was on offer. How about Australian flag Christmas tree ornaments, a must-have for all patriotic trees? A box of six baubles (with flags blue, red and silver) will set you back $22. Unfortunately there’s no Aboriginal or Torres Strait Islander flag decorations but there is coat of arms wrapping paper, honey vodka (made with honey from the parliamentary hives) and the fully fresh Parlimints (that can double as percussion during sing-alongs). For $18 you can purchase a double-sided (perfect for right- or left-handed political wonks) coffee cup with a photograph of your favourite prime minister (black and white from Barton to Fraser, colour from Hawke onward). Tea towels with the full gamut of Australian PMs are $20, a magnet of ScoMo $6.95 and a postcard for just $1. Our top pick is the Labor PM Christmas Card collection — “Hawke! The Herald Angels Sing…”, “Season’s Keating” and “Julia To The World”.

Mama said, Mama said

A missed edit point? 7:30’s resident satirist Mark Humphries was caught off guard while listening to the audio book of John Howard’s memoir Lazarus Rising. Performed by the man himself, things got a bit muddled in the last two minutes of chapter four but for some reason, none of it was deleted. Quoth John: “My mother left me with a fount of old aphorisms and sayings, some of which endure today, others having slipped out of usage. ‘It’s a long road that has no turning’ is one that largely disappeared. I’ll start that again, look, I’ll just. My mother (exhale). My mother left me with a fount …”

Straight and grey

We missed Labor Senate Leader Penny Wong’s Christmas tribute to parliament late on December 5: “To Senator (Mathias) Cormann, this is what my staff wrote for me: ‘Senator Cormann and I may not have political principles in common, but we do share a hairstyle.’ I’m thinking of sacking that staff member, because I don’t think that’s true. And the next line is, ‘Although I’m pleased to say his has gone a little greyer than mine over the last couple of years.’ I don’t think that’s true either, but it’s very kind.” Cormann laughed and replied: “Good speech!”

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