Keeping it royal

Our new nano-royal was but hours old when Tony Abbott declared her to be a great lover of our nation.

Our new nano-royal was but hours old when Tony Abbott declared her to be a great lover of our nation. “Every member of the royal family has a respect, affection and enthusiasm for Australia,” he said. “We’ve got Prince Harry serving with the Australian Army just at the moment. That’s part of a long tradition by the royal family of engagement with our country and I’m sure that the new princess will be an enthusiastic participant in that great tradition.” Others were pondering what she might be christened. Victoria? Elizabeth? Diana, even? Strewth saw only one bold suggestion in the Pommy press that William and Kate use a Middleton family name — and even that was qualified. The young royals could take their inspiration from Kate’s mother and name their daughter Caroline. Her actual name, Carole, is apparently too common. Or as they used to say, NQOCD: not quite our class, darling.

Mark his words

Someone who knows all about class — in every sense of the word — is Mark Latham. The former opposition leader made an unlikely appearance at the Australian Libertarian Society’s Friedman Conference over the weekend. Latham let rip at middle-class feminists,
mummy-bloggers and fans of Mia Freedman, who he insisted have nothing to complain about and flounder around seeking causes to which they can attach themselves. This segued into a comprehensive attack on identity politics and various gay, transgender and racial lobbies that spared no sensitivities. His old Labor mates from Sussex Street got a belting as “turgid, mindless, robotic apparatchiks”. And there was a special mention for Kevin Rudd: “I said in my diaries he was a duplicitous, leaking wanker, and I was right.” Oh yes. Latham also lashed out at defamation laws. What a surprise.

Festival fizzles in rain

Partying potheads at the annual Nimbin MardiGrass were left stranded on Saturday when floods from record rainfall in northeastern NSW and southeastern Queensland cut off the town. Sodden stoners were moved from equally damp camping grounds to the drier surrounds of the town hall, where presumably they could at least light up. The authorities, however, were strangely silent on the issue of relief drops.

Rock-solid promises

British Labour leader Ed Miliband has had gravitas issues in the past. Cartoonists regularly draw him as the hapless inventor Wallace from the Wallace & Gromit films. So with the Pommy poll on Thursday, Ed is desperate to be taken seriously. His solution, however, is up there with the ideas of his fictional counterpart for zaniness. “Ed Miliband has commissioned a giant stone inscription bearing Labour’s six election pledges that is set to be installed in the Downing Street rose garden if he becomes prime minister,” The Observer reported yesterday. “The 8ft 6in-high (2.6m) limestone structure is intended to underline his commitment to keep his promises by having them literally ‘carved in stone’ and visible from the offices inside No 10 … Miliband said that the stone would symbolise his commitment to keep his pledges.”

Naked grab for power

A very different style of electioneering in Japan has made waves all of its own. Instead of the usual blandly pleasant portrait shots selected for campaign posters, Teruki Goto, an independent running for the Chiyoda Ward Assembly in Tokyo in last weekend’s local government election, used a picture of himself standing naked against a rising sun raising a samurai sword, his genitalia cunningly concealed by his name. “According to the Internal Affairs and Communications Ministry, the use of nudity is not banned because there are no restrictions on poster design in the Public Offices Election Law,” TheJapan Times reported. “All posters are legal as long they bear the name of the candidate and are posted on the designated boards.”

ATO AWOL

The Australian Taxation Office website went offline yesterday. The media contact details vanished too, so Strewth couldn’t check if striking public service shiny-bums or Ayn Rand-reading hackers were involved. No doubt it will be business as usual by the time this appears — but given the ATO’s fondness for penalties, will interest be charged for the period?

Correcting the record

In a Strewth item on February 7 — and in an item in its predecessor Melba in 1994 — we suggested former Gold Coast councillor Kerry Smith-Douglas had shaken off four marijuana-related charges. Ms Smith-Douglas tells us that, in fact, she was facing only one charge and it was dismissed at trial.

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