Jacinda Ardern waits her turn

As the pubs opened in the Northern Territory, across the pond Wellington showed it isn’t messing around when it comes to social distancing.

It’s estimated 1000 kegs were cracked this weekend in the Northern Territory with pubs open from Friday. That’s 50,000 litres of beer or 100,000 schooners. Pretty impressive given the two hour limit. Across the pond, Wellington isn’t messing around when it comes to social distancing, with Jacinda Ardern and partner Clarke Gayford turned away from a popular cafe on the weekend, when it hit coronavirus capacity. Luckily, a spot became available within 15 minutes. Gayford tweeted on Saturday. “I didn’t get organised and book anywhere. Was very nice of them to chase us down st when a spot freed up. A+ service.” The owner of cafe Olive confirmed no exceptions were made for the New Zealand PM: “She was lovely with all the staff … she was treated like a normal customer.” A spokesman from Ardern’s office said: “The PM says she just waits like everyone else.” Over in Bondi, The Corner House Hotel has a wait list of more than 4000 people keen to throw back a Froth Whitlam in its 10-person capacity pub — at the bargain price of $100 a head plus unlimited woodfired pizza.

Strait to parliament

A strange sight was spotted on the streets of the Canberra Bubble last week. It was a car with — Wendy Askew, senator for Tasmania — emblazoned in iconic Liberal blue on the side, with the woman in question sitting behind the wheel. A long way from Launceston! Askew confirmed to Strewth that the campaign car was her private plated vehicle. And yes, she’d driven it the 1210km there herself. Overnight on the 10-hour Spirit of Tasmania ferry from the Apple Isle, then the seven hours through Victoria and NSW to reach Parliament House in the ACT. Sounds exhausting! “Geez, you're a long way from home," was the common refrain Askew said she heard on her trip. But she didn’t have much choice — there were few flight options out of Tassie and she needed the flexibility to attend meetings either side of the three-day Senate sitting. Askew assured us the trip was cleared with the independent Parliamentary Expenses Authority beforehand and provided a saving for the taxpayer, as she didn’t use a single Comcar all week.

Taiwan, writ large

“Taiwan can help,” a sky writer slowly spelt out, directly above the Chinese embassy in Canberra on Saturday. It was part of the nation’s campaign to be allowed to join the World Health Organisation.

A job for the Blob?

The latest edition of public servant speak comes from Peter Harris, CEO of the National COVID-19 Co-ordination Commission in the Department of Prime Minister and Cabinet. Harris was asked by a Senate committee last week about Andrew Liveris, who is listed on the NCCC website under “Commissioners”.

Harris: “He is not a commissioner …”

Labor senator Murray Watt: “No? He’s a special adviser or something?”

Harris: “He’s appended to the commission.”

Watt: “‘Appended’ to the commission?”

Labor senator Katy Gallagher: “‘Appended’ … sounds painful.”

Harris: “Well, organisational structure wise, he’s a blob …”

Watt: “What would his job title be if he had a job title?”

Harris: “I’m not sure about that.”

Watt: “‘Appended’ … ‘appendage’, perhaps?”

Gallagher: (laughs) “Sounds very painful.”

Sent to subcommittee

Meanwhile, ME bank told the Tim Wilson-led economic committee that it set up a subcommittee of three members, to sign off on its secret strategy to reduce customer redraw facilities. It reminded Strewth of the sub-sub-committee from the Mick Molloy film Crackerjack, created to investigate whether the free Wheel of Cheese at the Cityside Bowling Club could be used in a sandwich instead of the regulation cheese and crackers.

A novel idea

“It’s also a bit like a Mills & Boon novel in many respects. It might be satisfying and uplifting to read but, you know, getting to that point without causing major trauma to the community is a very serious consideration,” Victorian Treasurer Tim Pallas told a state parliamentary committee, when asked about ditching stamp duty for a land tax.

Currying favour

Employment Minister Michaelia Cash went full Kath & Kim during an interview with SBS News on Friday. When asked about Quiet Australians supporting reopening small businesses by having “a curry for the country”, she couldn’t stop laughing. “I’m going to tell the Prime Minister that one!” she said. “A curry for the country, I love it! I love Indian food! It’s my favourite food! I promise you I will do that!”

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