I, Mac

BACK in September 2013, one of the few Coalition members not feeling the joy of victory was Queensland senator Ian Macdonald.

BACK in September 2013, when Tony Abbott and crew began their stab at Good Government Version 1.0, one of the few Coalition members not feeling the joy of victory was Queensland senator Ian Macdonald. He explained all in this barbed lament on Facebook: “What should have been one of the proudest days of my life has turned into one of the worst. The ecstasy of a new government and success in the north has turned a little sad with a phone call from Tony Abbott saying he has no room for me in the new ministry.” Fair enough; no point hiding your blight under a bushel, eh? But did Abbott make a mistake dropping Macdonald like a bag of frozen berries? Consider last July when he wore a hi-vis Australians for Coal shirt in the Senate, drawing the ire of his colleague Bill Heffernan, who stormed into the Senate brandishing his own Australians for Coal shirt, which lay unmolested in its packaging. “This is a bloody commercial message,” Heff boomed. “I’ve told the minerals and mining council to shove this and everyone else should, too.” And yet despite copping a full broadside from the only senator to have taken a dummy pipe bomb to work, Macdonald survived unscathed. His powers were on display again yesterday during the Gillian Triggs jamboree. Referring to the Forgotten Children inquiry, which was rather central to proceedings, Macdonald offered this thought: “I haven’t bothered to read the final report because I think it is partisan.” It is surely time the PM reconsidered.

Soft serve

IT was a brighter, shinier Tony Abbott who told Karl Stefanovic yesterday, “You know what it’s like to be young and vigorous and at the height of your powers. That is exactly how I feel.” Newspoll may have played a small part in that, but surely not as much as this advice from Alan Jones: “(The people) want to see a bit of Mr Whippy in you: ring the bell and let them know what the product is that you’re selling!” Unquote. We now have the probably indelible image of the corridors of power echoing to the sound of Greensleeves. For this, Jones has our gratitude.

As it should have been

ON Monday evening, opposition agriculture spokesman Joel Fitzgibbon put out a press release ticking off the Agriculture Minister: “Officials from the Department of Agriculture were forced to accept the blame and apologise in Senate estimates today when quizzed about changes to the Hansard record of Barnaby Joyce’s answers during question time.” Not that Fitzgibbon’s own words are immune to little Hansard corrections. A few hours earlier during question time, he took aim at Joyce: “I refer the minister to the government’s decision to amend the former Labor government’s biosecurity reform bill to effectively abolish the position of inspector-general of biodiversity …” He meant biosecurity; happily, by the time the Hansard version lobbed, it had been brought into line with accuracy. The slip was noted in Senate estimates by Nationals senator JohnWilliams, eliciting a laugh from Sean Edwards. (How lovely to see a smile back on Edwards’s face after all that unhappiness about submarines, weddings and uninvited uncles.) But could an inspector of biodiversity work? “I have come up with three alternatives,” Joyce tells Strewth. “God, Noah and St Francis of Assisi, none of which work for my department.”

The Iron Speaker

BILL Shorten was in question time yesterday, but Bronwyn Bishop took care of that.

Fighting dire with dire

WE realise Scott Morrison is trying to soften his image after his stint as Minister for Not Talking About On-Water Matters. We’re just not sure that crafting his own zingers for use on Bill Shorten is the way: “The Leader of the Opposition thinks the year of the idea is going out to buy flatpack Swedish furniture when it comes to ideas. Not Ikea, it’s ideas, that’s what we need …” Abbott deemed this effort “outstanding”, but showing that actions speak louder than words, shut down question time just to be on the safe side.

Gazing out to sea

THERE was an announcement from Clive Palmer criticising “the federal Treasury’s pending 2015 Intergenerational Report as nothing more than naval gazing”. As he didn’t go with the traditional “navel”, we’ll just count it as a submarine reference.

Ignorance and bliss

FIVE stars to Labor’s Joe Ludwig for this envy-making admission in Senate estimates: “I don’t know what a Thermomix is.” Cory Bernardi filled in this gap as best he could before gently inquiring as to where on earth it was that Ludwig had been. “Queensland,” Ludwig replied. Lucky bastard. (For additional illumination, we refer you to our colleague Natasha Robinson’s piece “Thermomix a cooking cult that leaves me cold”.)

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