Holy Roller

GOOD Friday traditionally has been a quiet news day - the year AD33 being a notable exception.

GOOD Friday traditionally has been a quiet news day - the year AD33 being a notable exception.

Granted, there's the annual outrage about how hard it is to get a bloody beer in Australia on Good Friday; there's the media's fleeting obsession with the country's fish markets; and in Melbourne there's the usual hand-wringing about whether to play footy on such a holy day (which is curious, given that Aussie rules is the city's true religion). But, generally speaking, it's hell for us newspaper-folk trying to put out a winning edition on Good Friday. Indeed, it's so tough that The Australian Financial Review puts out only one edition across the entire Easter period. Sure, it's supposed to be a daily newspaper but what does that term actually mean in this day and age? Anyway, we digress. This year, one celebrated Aussie kindly tried to help us out with our Good Friday news-gathering dilemma. Yesterday, at 9.30am, when most of the nation was asleep, or at church, or thinking about going to church, or asleep at church, Queensland's Titanic-loving billionaire Clive Palmer announced he had bought a new car. In a breathless media release headlined "Rare Rolls Gets Professor Clive Palmer's Motor Running", the 59-year-old spoke humbly of the addition to his collection of toys. "Businessman and car enthusiast Professor Clive Palmer has a new addition to his car collection - a rare Rolls Royce Phantom Drophead Coupe. It is believed only two of these cars exist in Australia. The car is expected to retail for more than $1.3 million, however Professor Palmer declined to disclose the purchase priced (sic) from car dealer Bentley Brisbane." The car, said the professor (he is an adjunct professor at Bond University, in case you were wondering), is to be housed at the Coolum Resort on Queensland's Sunshine Coast where he is building "Australia's largest and most valuable auto museum". And for a few hours on the quietest of news days, the gripping details of Palmer's new car fed the media beast ...

Animatronic magic

BUT wait, there's more. Clive Palmer's Pretty Good Friday became Really Good Friday when, after lunch, he told the world he had put in an order for more than 100 mechanical dinosaurs. The proud owner of a tyrannosaurus rex called Jeff and an omeisaurus named Bones - which live near his cars at Coolum - Palmer wants a further 117 animatronic dinosaurs, including a 1200kg brachiosaurus and a 7m-tall mamenchisaurus. The reptiles will sway their tails, heave their chests and blink. Provided nothing more is expected of them, Strewth believes the dinosaurs will feel right at home in Queensland.

Conroy's capers

NO one has ever accused Stephen Conroy of lacking passion. Or being blind to the power of retribution. So it is that Labor's factional warriors in Victoria are watching the furniture fly over the Gellibrand preselection. Word has it that Conroy has been throwing his weight around even more than usual. Let's hope for his sake the details of the shenanigans never become public.

Men of stature

SPEAKING of Labor's in-house tensions, we note an interesting snippet relayed by The Australian's Troy Bramston in this week's The Spectator Australia. Bramston writes that Labor luminaries Paul Keating and Mark Latham have not spoken a word to each other since 2004, when the latter lost the federal election and then resigned in somewhat spectacular circumstances. However, a rapprochement could be in the offing. Keating told Bramston last week he appreciated Latham's recent call for Labor to reclaim the Keating legacy by ridding itself of rent-seeking union influence on policy and to embrace internal reform. For his part, Latham was apparently chuffed to hear that PJK enjoyed his recent Quarterly Essay, and suggested the construction of "statues (plural!) honouring Keating's legacy". Strewth considered phoning Keating to ask if he was in favour of multiple statues of himself , but we quickly decided there was no need for official confirmation.

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