He’ll go far

Tony Abbott amped up the macho when he let slip that he and Christian Porter had been at the SAS headquarters in Swanbourne.

Tony Abbott amped up the macho when he let slip at his 8.45am launch of the Curtin University med school in Perth yesterday that he and parliamentary secretary Christian Porter had already been busy, stopping off at the SAS headquarters in nearby Swanbourne for a workout with the elite force. “We were showing our respects,” the PM told one guest. Yes — and getting some training tips on stamina, Strewth suspects. For a few hours after the WA function an advisory appeared from his press office saying Abbott would be attending an afternoon tea 3500 km and a seven-hour flight away on the western fringes of Townsville. Who dares wins stuff indeed.

Keeping her cool

Also busy yesterday was Julie Bishop, using Twitter and a carefully curated selection of emojis to argue the plot of Disney’s Frozen. “It is Princess Elsa who uses cryokinetic power to freeze (snowflake emoji) Arendelle on eve of (crown emoji to represent her coronation). When a narky Twit fired back: “Elsa is actually a queen — not a princess. Do your research”, there was no holding back the Foreign Minister. “Perhaps you should do yours — Elsa was Princess of Arendelle before her coronation.” Let it go, let it go, let it go indeed.

Boo-who for Barnaby

Barnaby Joyce spent Sunday revelling in his new-found international celebrity in the wake of the brouhaha over Johnny Depp’s dogs. “Boo and Pistol have left the building,” he proudly declared on Sky’s Australian Agenda. He even had a similar throwaway line when he was grilled in detail over how the pair of pooches had made it past Customs and quarantine officials and into the country: “Whether Louis Vuitton has a mechanism for anti-poodle screening, I don’t know.”

A pet subject

Joyce’s old colleagues in the Queensland Liberal National Party have obviously been following his past week closely, looking for angles to work. They found them swiftly enough. Their statement on former frontbencher Brett Mason’s replacement in the Senate, Joanna Lindgren, appeared to be the usual stock-standard stuff at first: “Ms Lindgren is the daughter of a working-class, Catholic family from Inala, and the great-niece of former senator Neville Bonner,” it began. “Ms Lindgren is a schoolteacher and member of the Australian Army reserves,” it continued. “She has a bachelor of arts in humanities and a graduate diploma of education from Griffith University.” We were told the senator-elect lives in Jimboomba, south of Brisbane “with her husband and dogs Lysander, Freyja and Gerda.” Then came the clincher: “As far as she knows, her dogs are compliant with all Australian biosecurity laws.”

Fuelled by drink

World Whisky Day was celebrated on Saturday with more than a wee dram of data from the distilleries about the contribution their product makes to the Scottish and broader British economies. Scotch whisky adds £3.3 billion ($6.4bn) directly to the British economy and almost £5bn overall, they claim. Impressively, scotch adds more value to the economy than traditional industries such as iron and steel, textiles, shipbuilding or new sectors like IT. The flood of figures continued, with claims the scotch whisky industry is Britain’s largest single food and drink sector, comprising 25 per cent of its exports. The figures were even more significant for Scotland alone. Whisky, the distillers say, accounts for close to 80 per cent of the nation’s food and drink exports. That last fact, while impressive, shouldn’t really come as a surprise. Scotland’s best known culinary creation, haggis, is more of an acquired taste.

Tingling sensation

There was furious indignation on ABC’s Insiders yesterday as The Australian Financial Review’sLaura Tingle unloaded left, right and centre at the government over the budget. First there was some spectacular strop over paid parental leave. “Because of all this vilification stuff that they’re so good at, this government, we’ve lost any sense of what is their policy purpose here.” The tradies’ tax deduction was then denounced to eye-rolling unseen since Marty Feldman: “The government’s having it about three different ways” before matters were summed up with, “The high moral ground has become such a tiny wedge in the ocean for the government to stand on.” All Strewth can suggest is that the ABC should put its panellists up in hotels with comfier mattresses.

Pumped up

The Gold Coast isn’t known for its contributions to culture, but it’s adding to the language. Filling up at a 7-Eleven after the drive back from Brissie, a Strewth snout spotted, in addition to the ethanol and high octane blends, a sign promoting “unadditized fuels”.

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