Great wall of ScoMo

Scott Morrison’s original 146-song Spotify playlist had just the one Australian tune.

Victorian Opposition Leader Matthew Guy gets a hairdo enhancement. Picture: Aaron Francis

Great wall of ScoMo

There was a minor kerfuffle this week when it was discovered that of the 146 songs on Scott Morrison’s original Spotify playlist, only one was Australian: Wa Wa Nee’s debut hit single Stimulation, which came out in 1986 (the same year Queen had its final tour). Some people seemed quite cross about this, but if you’re after quality rather than quantity, Stimulation delivers. Just imagine ScoMo adjusting whichever of his Imelda Marcos-sized collection of baseball caps happens to be adorning his bonce and rocking out to this: “Lucky guy, his world’s on fire / He can get it up night and day / Oh I wish I could get the feeling / And give the girls something to say / All I need to get is stimulation / So get me up against the wall …” While ScoMo has gone on to draw attention to another playlist for his Queensland road trip (whether it’s just for the bus or the VIP jet as well isn’t clear, but as Morrison said yesterday, “You’ve got to be practical about these things”), it’s hard not to think about the thrust of those lyrics.

The phwoar is strong

Which brings us with steamy inevitability to the PM’s interview on Brizzie FM on yesterday.

Bianca: “ScoMo, we need to know where your first pash was.”

Morrison: “It was up at a place called Lake Munmorah, I think.”

Bianca: “I know Lake Munmorah, on the central coast?”

Mike: “Lake Pashmorah, I’d say.”

Bianca: “Lake I’m gonna get some more.”

Other topics were canvassed amid a great deal of jollity, this one not least among them.

Mike: “Can I just ask you — just on the quiet, ScoMo — what are the rules on a shared bus toilet? Do your staff get to use the same … what if they go before you? What happens?”

Mike: “Is there a prime ministerial potty?”

Morrison: “I think there is, I’m not sure. I’m not sure there’s been calls for it so far. So, look, I’ll keep you posted.”

Bianca: “All right, let’s get down to some serious business …”

To coin a phrase. As Wa Wa Nee told us in Stimulation: “I know the merits of a motion.”

Borrow the leader

As you may remember, Clive Palmer abandoned the Palmer United Party moniker, even though the almost hallucinatory wishful thinking conveyed by the name was balanced by the excellence of its acronym. He has gone with what was evidently his first choice, the United Australia Party, a resurrection of a dead party name. With a chutzpah powerful enough to be noticeable even in this country, the new UAP’s website has a page headed “Our history — United Australia Party prime ministers”, and on it the photos of three PMs: Joseph Lyons, Billy Hughes and Robert Menzies. What can one do but let a long, low whistle escape through one’s teeth?

A little more follicular

It is at this stage that, per the dictates of tradition, we dust off the heritage-listed Strewth item from 2010 that begins: “After years of standing at the crucial hour before a TV with a plastic beaker of tepid bubbles, or crammed into the Hieronymus Bosch tableau of a nearby drinking establishment, Strewth decided yesterday to tackle the big question: Does the Melbourne Cup really stop the nation? Following painstaking research (by which we mean walking a few blocks at 3pm), we can reveal the shocking truth: it does not.” Once again the race did not stop the nation. But it stopped a horse. Rest in peace, Cliffsofmoher. But as is this is Strewth, we don’t want to finish on such a down note, so we’ll end with Victorian Opposition Leader Matthew Guy settling in to watch the Cup. Capturing the spirit of fellow Victorian Bill Shorten, someone positioned behind him has accidentally enhanced his hairdo.

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