Go West

The role of NSW Labor general secretary is one of the most perilous in politics. During a virtual meeting of the NSW Right the agro against the man wearing the crown was dialled up to 11.

Kristina Keneally.

The role of NSW Labor general secretary would have to be one of the most perilous in Australian politics. During Friday night’s virtual meeting of the NSW Right – where Kristina Keneally was formally endorsed for the seat of Fowler – the agro against the man currently wearing the crown was dialled up to 11. Outgoing member Chris Hayes “lost his shit” at secretary Bob Nanva, according to one attendee, about the deal to preselect Keneally over his pick, lawyer Tu Le. Hayes claimed he told Nanva 12 months ago that he was planning to retire, but didn’t publicly announce his decision until March. However, it was Hayes’ revelation that Nanva may not seek re-election at the upcoming NSW Labor conference, scheduled for October 9, that got tongues wagging. Add into the mix the shock exit by Joel Fitzgibbon and you’ve got a full blown civil war. Nanva took over as secretary after the last one, self-described “boss lady” Kaila Murnain, resigned over the Aldi bag of cash revelations at the NSW ICAC. Nominations for a number of state positions, including general secretary, close at noon on Friday, with a online ballot planned for October 9 to 13. NSW Labor president Mark Lennon has told Right caucus members to prepare for another round of Zoom fireworks this Thursday, when the faction will meet to choose its candidate. Strewth hears whispers that assistant secretary Dominic Ofner – who is married to Phoebe Drake, a longtime adviser to federal Labor leader Anthony Albanese – has been sounding out support to take over as NSW Labor boss. As for Keneally? She plans to give up her title as the only senator who rows to work (from her home on Scotland Island in Sydney’s northern beaches) and move her hubbie Ben 40km southwest.

Anthony Albanese and Tu Le.

Boxing match

If the NSW government is looking for ideas to spice up its new and improved 11am Glad Wrap (soon be sans Gladys Berejiklian), here’s one for free: unboxing vaccines. As social media addicts will know, videos of people opening packages are immensely popular online. Imagine chief health officer Kerry Chant live streaming as she ripped the tape off the shot shipment of Moderna from the EU, set to a Dolly Parton soundtrack. That’s one way to reach the TikTokers.

Life is a picnic

The NSW Premier called time on her last daily press conference after 34 minutes and this exchange about ICAC.

Berejiklian: “As I said, I don’t have anything to add on that matter. It would be inappropriate to comment on those ongoing investigations and I have nothing further to say.”

Q: “We are not asking that, we are asking whether you have been called to give evidence at private hearings. That is a yes or no.”

Berejiklian: “No, as I said, it is inappropriate to comment on any ongoing matters. And it’s always been the proper way to respond to those questions.”

Q: “Is the reason we will see you less at the 11am conferences because you have been called to the ICAC?”

Berejiklian: “Gosh, I wish you could all be privy to the conversations we all had about the 11am press conferences …”

Gladys Berejiklian.

Some like it Scot

Lord of Glencoe.

Regular question time viewers will be aware of Reps Speaker Tony Smith’s refrain “Please refer to members by their correct titles”. Which is why Strewth was so surprised to learn that Liberal MP Phillip Bruce Thompson is part of the nobility. Well, novelty nobility. It turns out the Baby of the House, who hails from the Townsville seat of Herbert, is also the Lord of Glencoe. The Highland Title, which he purchased in March 2012, entitles him to a souvenir plot of land on the estate of Glencoe Wood in Scotland. According to Scottish law, you only need to own one square foot to become a lord or lady. (Or a laird, in the local dialect.) It’s similar to English honorific Lady of the Manor of Gosforth, bought as a Christmas present for comedian Julia Morris by her husband. Thompson told Strewth that he didn’t know much about his family history, so decided to complete an ancestry DNA test, which showed he has some Scottish blood. Thompson plans to visit his wee bit of land one day and plant an Australian flag. While wearing a kilt, eating a vegemite and haggis sandwich and listening to some bagpipes, we presume. Prices for the tongue-in-cheek titles, sold by the Scottish Accessories Shoppe to raise money for conservation, start at $50 for one foot of land, with $220 buying 100sq ft. It’s a much easier route than waiting to receive an appointment to the House of Lords by UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson. One Highland lord has even installed a Lego castle on his plot. Along with a Certificate and Master Title Deed, the nouveau aristocrats receive a gift pack with a plot number and grid reference to find their piece of tartan paradise among the 200,000-plus Glencoe Wood community. “This is, of course, not the same as having a hereditary title or Lord of the Manor title but gives you the opportunity to style yourself as such, which can afford some of the same fantastic perks,” the Shoppe says. “Our customers have shared stories of everything from flight upgrades to preferential treatment.” So, Thompson can’t arrive at Balmoral Castle and demand to meet the Queen but he can legally change his name to Lord. An option, the former soldier joked to Strewth, that he was considering.

Phil Thompson.

Peer review

There is one federal politician in line for a real British title. Liberal MP Ian Goodenough is a distant relative of Sir William McLernon Goodenough, the third Baronet Goodenough of Broadwell and Filkins in the Oxfordshire. The title was created in 1943 for Sir William Macnamara Goodenough, the former chairman of Barclay’s Bank. The member for Moore is also a direct descendant of Samuel Goodenough, who served as the Bishop of Carlisle in the early 19th century and is buried in the north cloister of Westminster Abbey. Will we be seeing Baron Ian anytime soon? “I would be very far down the line of succession, and not likely to ascend to the Baronetcy in my lifetime!” Goodenough assured Strewth.

Ian Goodenough.

Flight attendance

Joe Hockey has fled locked-down Sydney for freer pastures in the United States, where he runs advisory firm Bondi Partners in Washington DC. Last month, the former ambassador compared the Covid-19 restrictions at his local Hunters Hills cafe to the Soup Nazi episode of Seinfeld. Hockey flew out of Sydney airport on an appropriately named airline – Delta.

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