Eyes have it as Jackie Lambie goes for black-eye effect

What struck Strewth about Jacqui Lambie’s Obama-esque new poster was her bold use of the dark-eye effect. But who wore it best?

Who wears the black-eye effect best: a raccoon, Jacqui Lambie or Alice Cooper?

One of the less expected developments in federal parliament is Jacqui Lambie’s emergence as its most avant-garde denizen. Any last vestige of doubt was surely laid to rest in her video address to Barnaby Joyce, a bit of unsolicited career advice that transcended its brevity by packing in more crazy camera angles than a Scandinavian film festival. She has cranked it up a notch with a press release headed: “Lambie disappointed by loss of Burnie International Tennis Classic — and the Liberal’s greed and silence.” (We thought the apostrophe in “Liberal’s” was an indication she was kicking one person — MP Brett Whiteley — but it turned out to be a little typo as she also put the boot into Eric Abetz.) But the most striking part was the image on the release: this portrait of Lambie. While many focused on the fact she was ripping off/paying homage to the Barack Obama “Hope” poster, what struck Strewth was her bold use of the black-eye effect, as exemplified by the others here in this special Strewth triptych: rocker Alice Cooper and a raccoon. So, as the fashionistas are wont to ask, who wore it best?

Life after Bron

At the razing of the Bron and her going down, we will remember her — this will be our lament should Bronwyn “Chopper” Bishop depart the Speaker’s throne. The big question will be: how will her most regular ejectees adjust to sitting through an entire question time? “It will take some counselling but I will pull through,” Terri Butler tells Strewth. This may be available, according to Pat Conroy: “Nick Champion, Graham Perrett and I are starting a question time support group to deal with the shock of sitting through an entire QT. We thought about asking Mark Dreyfus to join but we’ve heard his hourly rate is sky high.” Perrett, though, sounds confident he’ll get back his old groove: “The joy of sitting through QT was something I became accustomed to during the 42nd and 43rd parliaments.” Champion remembered to get a sledge in: “I have a dim memory of what it’s like as long as Abbott’s PM it will be a trial!” The next Speaker will keep punting him, we reckon.

Moving forward

Perhaps the new Speaker could be Coalition MP Ewen Jones, who has the lower house’s most commanding larynx. “Not if I have to listen to everyone all the time,” he told Strewth, adding, “I am still in the Bronwyn camp.” But Jones does have it mapped out: “Let me become the chief government whip first. Then Speaker, then governor-general, before a final stint as trade commissioner to Los Angeles.”

The revolutionary

Probably the most surprising part of the same-sex marriage debate between Penny Wong and Cory Bernardi at the National Press Club yesterday was the latter’s channelling of a Bolshevik. Here’s Bernardi: “Where I come from it is children who have rights and adults who have responsibility.” And Vladimir Lenin: “Under communism there is only one privileged class — the children.” Meanwhile, extra points to Wong for concluding with this delightful homophone: “Lift the gaze.”

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