Empty promise

THERE are times we fret that Bob Katter — once the colourful, white-haired Queenslander of parliament — has been utterly eclipsed by Clive Palmer.

THERE are times we fret that Bob Katter — once the colourful, white-haired Queenslander of parliament — has been utterly eclipsed by Clive Palmer. But now, following the hope of Palmer and his arch nemesis Campbell Newman being brought together by mutual dinosaur love (Strewth, yesterday), we have a plan for Katter and Palmer to use their unique powers together for the common good — a bit like The Avengers. It’s quite simple. Katter is calling for “mandatory isolated quarantine for Ebola cases”. And Palmer, as our colleague Hedley Thomas sombrely reported in this august organ yesterday, owns a resort that is not just far from the madding crowd, it is almost entirely bereft of human life. Gentle reader, we will leave you to join the dots. This has been a Strewth Public Health Initiative.

Bugger, bug thyself

IF you need a gentle break from Ebola and Islamic State, you can do a lot worse than plough through the Inspector General of Intelligence and Security annual report. For example, page 20 quietly lets slip the revelation that — like the hound that accidentally chows down on its own tail — ASIO breached the Telecommunications Interception Act a couple of times and bugged itself. Quoth the report, “In the first breach of the TIA Act, ASIO intercepted, without warrant, calls made from one of its own regional offices due to a technical error. The data was deleted and processes put in place to ensure it does not happen again.” While we’re now a little clearer on the question of who watches the watchers, we’re none the wiser as to how ASIO learned it was bugging its own phones. We’d like to think it made for a reasonably colourful scene.

In the red corner

IT was still early enough in the morning that it felt like there was a chance Radio National’s Alison Carabine’s trap might work. “And Tanya Plibersek,” she addressed her guest, “on Vladimir Putin, (Russian Prime Minister) Dmitry Medvedev has told Tony Abbott to choose his words more carefully. That’s a reference to his shirt-front threat. Do you agree with the Kremlin on this one?”

Cheeky. Alas, Plibersek wasn’t going to get caught out just like that. ”Well, it’s a stretch to say I agree with the Kremlin on anything, but what I would say is that this is a gravely serious matter … and it’s important to choose language that is sober and carefully chosen.” Plibersek needn’t have bothered, though — Medvedev, having done his stern duty vis-a-vis Abbott, had already bestowed his blessings on Julia Gillard and Kevin Rudd: “I knew the previous two Australian prime ministers, and I had good relations with them.”

Here to help

BY the time you read this, we’ll know if Speaker Bronwyn Bishop has taken a step closer to world domination and been elected president of the Inter-Parliamentary Union in Geneva. Perhaps take a moment to ponder her line in her application letter about having “committed my life to the advent of democracy”. If it’s still at the advent stage, one wonders how she views Australia’s present system.

Special US addition

DESPITE Christopher Pyne’s impressively theatrical cries of “Xenophobia!”, federal Labor continues to accuse the government of “Americanisation” of university fees. We don’t know if Tony Abbott was making some sort of sly comment yesterday during his joint press conference with Assistant Education Minister Sussan Ley when he spoke of “the science, the technology, the engineering and the math”. Ley went with the more locally traditional “maths”. (Speaking of numbers, NSW Liberal campaign director Tony Nutt warned supporters, “We have less than six months to go until the NSW state election”. Fewer, Tony, fewer. But then, he’d just copped a terse note from departing party member, former Howard government minister Jackie Kelly, in which Kelly vowed to be “outside the tent”. And we all know what happens from there. That image would have surely shaken Nutt.)

Not on the ‘to do’ list

UNLIKE Victoria and NSW, Queensland is not entertaining plans to wipe the criminal records of people found guilty in days of yore of committing homosexual acts. Queensland Attorney-General Jarrod Bleijie says it just isn’t a priority for the state government. If you’ve ever wondered how priorities are organised in Bleijie’s office, here’s one statement from him in May: “Queensland Maroons fans will have the opportunity to vote for their favourite specially designed State of Origin birth certificate as part of a state-wide competition launched today … ‘It’s well known Queenslanders grow a foot taller at State of Origin time and these certificates are a timeless memento for all fans of the game,’ Mr Bleijie said.” So there’s that.

[e-mail]