Canberra Bubble comedian our Job(Truth)Speaker?

A musical tribute to Scott Morrison highlights some of the loopholes in the JobSeeker and JobKeeper payments.

Comedian Alright, Hey! produced a musical tribute to Prime Minister Scott Morrison. Picture: YouTube/Gary Ramage

Is Canberra Bubble™ comedian Matthew Hey our very own Job(Truth)Speaker? The 25-year-old — under stage name Alright, Hey! — has recorded a musical tribute to Scott Morrison and the loopholes in JobSeeker(Lover)Keeper payments.

From September an unemployed person will get $800 a fortnight but a casual worker just $750. Hey’s song parodies US pop star Jason Derulo’s hit Ridin’ Solo and it’s called Ridin’ ScoMo.

Lyrics include “I’m feeling like a skive, you can’t stop my spending, I’m on Centrelink, this lifestyle ain’t ending, ScoMo, I’m ridin’ ScoMo”. Also: “I quit my job! I’m so sorry, but I’m earning more now and the recession’s on.” Then there’s: “Tonight me and the boys head out and everybody knows that it’s Centrelink’s shout.”

Alright, Hey! pointed out loopholes in the JobSeeker and JobKeeper payments. Picture: YouTube

You get the idea.

No word yet on how the Prime Minister feels about the JobTune. More of a rap man perhaps? (Remember the time ScoMo’s team tweeted a Fatman Scoop song that inquires “Who’s f..kin’ tonight?”).

Alright, Hey! jumped in a GoBoat on Lake Burley Griffin for his clip Ridin' ScoMo. Picture: YouTube

Hey’s catchy three-minute clip, with surprisingly high production values, has been viewed more than 1600 in its first day on YouTube. And we can see why. It features every millennial stereotype you’d find in a good rap video: vaping, handfuls of cash, bling, fancy food and impressive architecture — well, Telstra Tower.

Alright, Hey! outside Parliament House.

We can’t decide on our favourite stunt scene — standing skolling champagne and KFC on a boat in Lake Burley Griffin? Or twerking in a dressing gown on the Parliament House lawn? Somebody get this man in the Senate!

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Double-edge JobSword

The stats are in — the JobFranchise is quite possibly the most successful rebrand in Australian political history. There has been a 273 per cent increase in media mentions since Newstart was relabelled JobSeeker, according to data from Streem.

The JobShow must go on! Picture: Gary Ramage

It appears the corny is cutting through; a proud moment for Scotty from Marketing as numbers peaked during Tuesday’s JobWeaner press conference. Spin-off JobKeeper has been mentioned in an average of 520 metro media items a day. Compare that with Newstart’s dismal 54 daily name drops in the last financial year before its demise. It’s a profile boost that any spinner normally would dream of.

Unfortunately, the government wants fewer customers, not more. Hence the JobTweaker on JobSeeker and JobKeeper from September. Looks like some businesses will be heading for the JobReaper?

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JobSavings snapback

If quiet Aussies are already JobBracing for a pay cut, should our 151 federal MPs and 76 senators be docked $1000 for every sitting day that doesn’t get rescheduled? Centre Alliance’s Rex Patrick thinks so.

Rex Patrick dressed as a submarine. That’s why he gets paid the big bucks.

“While some MPs and senators are heavily engaged in committee hearings and work, many are not,” the South Australia senator says, refusing to name names. Why should our pollies be insulated from the impacts of COVID-19 if they’re not performing their core job — scrutinising (and horse-trading on) legislation?

So is Thursday's event a mini-budget or not? pic.twitter.com/JICP2HHu0t

— Katina Curtis (@katinacurtis) July 21, 2020

The Canberra Bubble™ has met for only 27 days so far this year. Compare that with a non-election year where the calendar runs an average of 68 days. Strewth has counted 17 canned dates since March. Calculate that $1000 x 17 = $17,000 a politician or 8 per cent of backbenchers’ $211,000+ pa salary (3 per cent of Morrison’s $549,250+). So $17,000 x 227 federal politicians = $3,859,000. Talk about a budget saving! That’s a freebie idea for Josh Frydenberg’s ($396,000+) fiscal update on Thursday.

When is a mini-Budget not a mini-Budget?

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JobSmoker

Outgoing Finance Minister Mathias Cormann phoned into 2GB Breakfast from the west coast to talk about Thursday’s “economic statement … not a mini-budget”.

Joe Hockey and Mathias Cormann pictured smoking cigars before delivering the first Abbott Budget in 2014.

Host Ben Fordham: Now you mention budgets, I can remember you putting the finish touches to a budget once upon a time with Joe Hockey and you were both filmed by Channel 9 enjoying a cigar somewhere just outside of Treasury. Now I tried at the time to convince Joe Hockey to give up the cigars, I was unsuccessful, are you still on the cigars?

Cormann: Every so often, but very much in private.

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JobSoothsayer

Fun fact! Way back in Morrison’s 2017 budget, the government announced it would scrap Newstart and replace it with JobSeeker on March 20, 2020. Who would have thought at the time that it would be slap-bang at the peak of a pandemic? A JobPsychic press release from Christian Porter, Michaelia Cash and Alan Tudge on May 9, 2017, said: “The government will introduce a new, single JobSeeker payment, which will replace or consolidate seven existing payments and simplify an often confusing and complex welfare system … from 20 March 2020.” JobSpooky.

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